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Hi Evinrude, you’re right. I did unintentionally create this separation because I wasn’t thinking at the time and was paranoid about the virus as a lot of people were at the time. I acknowledge it was selfish of me to ask him to do that and I would change it if I could, but in no way do I think I deserved the end result. I also don’t think it provoked him to end an 11 year relationship either all because of it. I am not a perfect person but I have always been loyal and honest. His history of flirting, lying and not communicating in my opinion only made him realize how much he liked the freedom to not get caught without me around. That is not on me but I do respect your opinion since I did put my story out there.
I think you are correct. If he loved you there’s no time apart that would put a stop to that. Own what you should own. He should own his cheating. You are hurting, but the truth is, you should let him go.
 

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I do have to wonder what kind of man does these things repeatedly and also has issues communicating and being honest.
I'll tell you what kind of man does this: one with little or no character/integrity.

Believe me, I have been in your shoes. But after I ruminated on what happened, why it happened, and what role I played in the demise in my marriage, I realized in order to move on I had to quit letting my husband rent so much space in my head. I assure you that in time you won't feel the hurt you feel now.

Can you get into counseling? It may be helpful to work through the pain with someone who specializes in grief counseling. After all, you are grieving the loss of your marriage.
 
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So let's get this straight

1. he has been cheating on you by flirting with other women long before he moved to his parents basement?
2. Yet he blames you for the problems in the marriage. Helloooo perhaps if the POS (that is what he is) spent time tending to his own wife and family and not cheating then his own wife may be more inclined to tend to him.
3. Moving out was not a good idea but quite frankly your problems started long before this. He may well have had a physical affair. The medical industry is rampant with this carry on due to the working hours etc.
4. You have cancer so you are at high risk and if he is a front liner then it was the right thing to do as your immune system will be weaker.
5. He has treated you terribly, now with your diagnosis saying he will leave afterwards, how much cruelty does he want to inflict.
6. You need to get this man out of your life. He is not a good man, a good husband or good father, that is just a figment of your imagination.
Now you need to take action

-Tell all family and friends what he has been doing (including the texting etc, tell his family too, no covering for his sorry ass, that is what you are doing now)
-Go scorched earth and let them know what is happening. It is likely he has a floozy on the side, hence the sudden desire to have freedom. Give him the freedom and blow up his world
-Start doing the 180 on him now, no contact except about the kid
-Try and get a day helper for your needs, do not allow him to be involved, do not give him the added privilege of then being able to turn around and say how wonderful a man he was, nip that in the bud now. Tell his parents and family. If necessary ask his sister or mother for help, but preferably ask him to pay someone to help you. Make it clear you don't want or need him anywhere near you.
-Contact a lawyer and see what your options are
  • Get yourself some private counselling, no MC, no nothing with him. Act like you believe every word he is telling you and move ahead accordingly.
  • Get STD tested and let him know you will be doing so.
-Cheaters normally divulge the surface when confronted, I suspect it is much more than you know. He has had ample opportunity.
-You are young and about to face a daunting time with your illness you do not need to be anywhere near your cheating POS hopefully STBX husband. He is wanting to stay around to get brownie points for being sacrificial but he has already told you he is moving on which gives him license to go and cheat some more all the while you have to endure. Stop that arrangement right now.
You now need to put you and your kid first and kick him out of your life.
 
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