Hello all, been a while since I posted. I have not updated my original thread since there has been no evidence such far as for infidelity.
Quick summary:
Been married 15 years. 2 kids.
She s 38 I am 45.
She works at large well know company in executive position.
I am a SAHD but going back to school next year to change careers.
Been MAPing for 9 months.
I'm in shape, 5' 11'' weigh 180. Eat healthy.
Since I've lost 22 pounds my drive is alive and could have sex 3-4 x a week.
Infidelity suspicion of wife:
Started last year, was watching how her and neighbor talked and acted toward each other. Bunch of red flags. I confronted with no evidence and most likely was gaslighted. Bought GPS and VAR after confronting her.
GPS showed nothing. VAR recorded 4 strange incidents of her talking to herself over 8 month period. Nothing concrete but they were strange.
So back in spring/summer my MAPing showed progress. Sex was 1-2 times a week and that was her initiating most of time. Fast forward to sept-early oct. sex was down to 1 time a week or once every 2 weeks.
Now to the UTI part.
For the past 5 years she has had a scrip fir UTI's. macrobid. So for all those years her OGYBN told her to take one or two the day after sex. Everything was fine. Well, starting in oct she would complain about getting UTI's after sex. Still taking the meds and she would say they are not working. So I made an appt to see her OBGYN. Thinking she could get stronger meds. She went to appt and was able to get Cipro...but her doc said go see a urologist.
Cipro worked good and I would ask her a day after sex if UTI's were still a problem. She said no, but her stomach/bladder area felt hard. Like she was bloated. And appearance is her thing and would complain her clothes would not fit right for work.
So she tells me we have to cool it down regarding sex until urologist appt at end of year. I said you are saying you don't want to have sex till the appt at end of year? She mumbles her words and said she did not mean that. I say, well we could do other things...she gets all pissed at me suggesting bjs or handjobs.
Sooo, this morning she says her stomach is hard (no UTI's) and her clothes are tight. I say we need to find out what's wrong and get it fixed. She says well what if urologist tells her she can't have sex anymore. I tell her that's not an option for me. I ask her how she feels about dr. saying for her not have sex anymore. She answers, well if they can't find anything wrong then I can't deal with feeling this way after sex. Meaning her feeling bloated and her clothes don't fit.
So I am stuck in a corner. At this point I look like a bad husband for wanting sex and not caring a out her bloating/UTI's. I suggest other things to do and she gets pissed thinking i am only looking for me to get off.
As for the chronic UTI's, in the past we both make sure we are showered and clean.
5 years ago she went to urologist and had everything checked out. Did the scan, ultrasound, dye injected into bladder. They found nothing.
So in conclusion what I am thinking is she was trying to come up with a way to not have sex. Her option was to use the UTI's as an excuse. There is absolutely no way for me to know if she has one. Her comments about urologist was very strange. And she pretty much has me at the point where I can't tell her she is lying. She knows that at urologist appt they will not be doing test in office. It's just a consultation. Test most likely will be January or February.
I am trying to be a supportive husband but these comments just don't sound right coming from her...
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Quick summary:
Been married 15 years. 2 kids.
She s 38 I am 45.
She works at large well know company in executive position.
I am a SAHD but going back to school next year to change careers.
Been MAPing for 9 months.
I'm in shape, 5' 11'' weigh 180. Eat healthy.
Since I've lost 22 pounds my drive is alive and could have sex 3-4 x a week.
Infidelity suspicion of wife:
Started last year, was watching how her and neighbor talked and acted toward each other. Bunch of red flags. I confronted with no evidence and most likely was gaslighted. Bought GPS and VAR after confronting her.
GPS showed nothing. VAR recorded 4 strange incidents of her talking to herself over 8 month period. Nothing concrete but they were strange.
So back in spring/summer my MAPing showed progress. Sex was 1-2 times a week and that was her initiating most of time. Fast forward to sept-early oct. sex was down to 1 time a week or once every 2 weeks.
Now to the UTI part.
For the past 5 years she has had a scrip fir UTI's. macrobid. So for all those years her OGYBN told her to take one or two the day after sex. Everything was fine. Well, starting in oct she would complain about getting UTI's after sex. Still taking the meds and she would say they are not working. So I made an appt to see her OBGYN. Thinking she could get stronger meds. She went to appt and was able to get Cipro...but her doc said go see a urologist.
Cipro worked good and I would ask her a day after sex if UTI's were still a problem. She said no, but her stomach/bladder area felt hard. Like she was bloated. And appearance is her thing and would complain her clothes would not fit right for work.
So she tells me we have to cool it down regarding sex until urologist appt at end of year. I said you are saying you don't want to have sex till the appt at end of year? She mumbles her words and said she did not mean that. I say, well we could do other things...she gets all pissed at me suggesting bjs or handjobs.
Sooo, this morning she says her stomach is hard (no UTI's) and her clothes are tight. I say we need to find out what's wrong and get it fixed. She says well what if urologist tells her she can't have sex anymore. I tell her that's not an option for me. I ask her how she feels about dr. saying for her not have sex anymore. She answers, well if they can't find anything wrong then I can't deal with feeling this way after sex. Meaning her feeling bloated and her clothes don't fit.
So I am stuck in a corner. At this point I look like a bad husband for wanting sex and not caring a out her bloating/UTI's. I suggest other things to do and she gets pissed thinking i am only looking for me to get off.
As for the chronic UTI's, in the past we both make sure we are showered and clean.
5 years ago she went to urologist and had everything checked out. Did the scan, ultrasound, dye injected into bladder. They found nothing.
So in conclusion what I am thinking is she was trying to come up with a way to not have sex. Her option was to use the UTI's as an excuse. There is absolutely no way for me to know if she has one. Her comments about urologist was very strange. And she pretty much has me at the point where I can't tell her she is lying. She knows that at urologist appt they will not be doing test in office. It's just a consultation. Test most likely will be January or February.
I am trying to be a supportive husband but these comments just don't sound right coming from her...
Posted via Mobile Device