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I know plenty of women who cuddle up with their girlfriends on the couch.
Their called lesbians.
My point was more of a platonic friendship between women. I also know some lesbians who cuddle with their SO, and that's kind of to be expected.
 

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Hi there I will try and keep this as short as I can...
I have been with my gf 8 years we recently got married, befor we got married my wife made a new female friend they have grown very close, she started spending lots of time with her, calls txts ect, I would come home from work and they would be cuddling on the sofa or holding hands....
They joke about how everyone thinks they are gay because of how close they are, well that rang alarm bells in my head so I spoke to the wife about it, she told there is nothing to worry about they are just close friends and that girls do cuddle and stuff so I trust her and thought no more about it.....
Well the past couple of weeks the wife has been going round her new bf house twice a week and not coming home till late, I asked her to maybe spend a Friday night with me and she got angry and said I was being to clingy, so I just stepped back and thought ok maybe I am.

Well I was abit paranoid so I did something I said I would never do and went though her phone (am sorry)
I didn't find any thing sexul just that my wife was missing her friend ect and how much she loved spending time with her and how she loved cuddles with her and stroking her hair and how she would never let her go, that she would let me go befor her for her own happiness cuz I was being to clingy and basically just declareing her love for her, saying she loves her more then she will ever admit now this hurt me alot! Because my wife is not even that close to me and never writes paragraphs about how much she Missis me or cuddles me, but she did marry me and I understand girls can be close! And yes we do have sex on a regular basis.

I have spoken to my wife about this and she said its just cuddles and friendly and nothing eles and that it's a different kind of love , but this weekend she is stopping round the best friends house even though I told her I was uncomfortable with this (she's going any way can't stop her lol) and me being me is panicking there is more then mets the eye, am I being to clingy! Do I need to calm the fudge down as u say lol

Thank you
I’m sorry, we women don’t have those kind of friendships, cuddling, stroking hair, declaring love. This is all BS, your wife is lying. She is having an EA if not PA.
 

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Hi there I will try and keep this as short as I can...
I have been with my gf 8 years we recently got married, befor we got married my wife made a new female friend they have grown very close, she started spending lots of time with her, calls txts ect, I would come home from work and they would be cuddling on the sofa or holding hands....
They joke about how everyone thinks they are gay because of how close they are, well that rang alarm bells in my head so I spoke to the wife about it, she told there is nothing to worry about they are just close friends and that girls do cuddle and stuff so I trust her and thought no more about it.....
Well the past couple of weeks the wife has been going round her new bf house twice a week and not coming home till late, I asked her to maybe spend a Friday night with me and she got angry and said I was being to clingy, so I just stepped back and thought ok maybe I am.

Well I was abit paranoid so I did something I said I would never do and went though her phone (am sorry)
I didn't find any thing sexul just that my wife was missing her friend ect and how much she loved spending time with her and how she loved cuddles with her and stroking her hair and how she would never let her go, that she would let me go befor her for her own happiness cuz I was being to clingy and basically just declareing her love for her, saying she loves her more then she will ever admit now this hurt me alot! Because my wife is not even that close to me and never writes paragraphs about how much she Missis me or cuddles me, but she did marry me and I understand girls can be close! And yes we do have sex on a regular basis.

I have spoken to my wife about this and she said its just cuddles and friendly and nothing eles and that it's a different kind of love , but this weekend she is stopping round the best friends house even though I told her I was uncomfortable with this (she's going any way can't stop her lol) and me being me is panicking there is more then mets the eye, am I being to clingy! Do I need to calm the fudge down as u say lol

Thank you
Yeah, I'm a woman and have close female friends and even say "i love you" at the end of an email. But if they tried to cuddle with me or stroke my hair? WTF? Um.... IDK. I mean people do that with children and pets and it's not sexual but I truly don't believe it's normal between two adult non-related women. I believe your wife is definitely getting some need met by this friend that she should be getting met by you in your marriage.

This reminded me of a story - many moons ago I was in the military and living in the barracks where there were 4 of us to a room with bunk beds. I usually slept at my boyfriend's but when I was there, two of my roomates would sleep together, spooning in the skinny bunk bed above me. They said "We like to sleep together because we're lonely and you know how nice it is to have someone to snuggle with at night." I thought - no, I don't know, I'd rather stretch out at night but what did I care where they slept? Anyhow, turned out they were gay. Duh.
 

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Thank you for the advice, I have confronted my wife multiple times and even broken down crying in front of her to tell the truth, but I get the same answer they are just friends! I don't know what to do she's never given me any reason to think she is bi or more!
STOPPPPPPPPPP acting like a *****, dear god man, grow a pari would you...do you honestly think crying in front of her helps your cause...you only look weaker in front of her....there are two ways to address this...first you can give her the walking papers that you will not be her plan B or you can start going out yourself and find a friend and wait until she notices your not around and start getting jealous and concern...if she doesn't at all you have your answer.
 

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Thank you for the advice, I have confronted my wife multiple times and even broken down crying in front of her to tell the truth, but I get the same answer they are just friends! I don't know what to do she's never given me any reason to think she is bi or more!
Yeah, I thought so... so are you saying that you are a weak beta boy and you are going to cry and believe all of the BS that your Freaking Wife is telling you.

Brother, you are being a fool, so you understand that Just be cause she is in a gay relationship does not mean that she is not cheating.

FILE FOR DIVORCE, and move on.

She is lying and you are being stupid...
 

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Everyone here sees what is going on.
Why don;t you ? You love her and want to
believe her right ? Well she is lying to you
and you shouldn't believe her. And she probably
doesn't really love you either. Disrespecting you
and her marriage. File, move on and let her have
her new friend. Or stay and suffer your choice,
it gets worse from here you know.
 

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Thank you for the advice, I have confronted my wife multiple times and even broken down crying in front of her to tell the truth, but I get the same answer they are just friends! I don't know what to do she's never given me any reason to think she is bi or more!
If you have the courage you could try this.It is a system I used over the years to get rid of friends of women I wanted to date.I called these friends clingons.
Regularly ask your wife to invite her friend over,whenever you plan a date night tell your wife to invite her friend and always be praising her to the skies.You could even make the occasional comparison between them,always in the friends favor of course.Keep telling your wife that clingon is soooo much fun and a really great person and even “jokingly” mention the possibility of a threesome.
This will either make your wife rethink her friendship,if that is what it is but more than likely she will admit to being gay or bisexual.
Either way you will know where you stand.
 

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How it gets worse ?

She has all ready said your to clingy.
She will say things like, your imagining
things, jealous, over reacting, and that you
are spying on her. She may even convince you
of a few of these things. She will eventually
tell you she wants to live apart for a while.
Wonder where she will move to ? Or convince
you to move out and move someone in.

She is either having an emotional affair
or a physical affair. Either way she is
disrespecting you and the marriage.
You deserve someone who will love
you and respect you just as much as
you do them. Cut your losses now and
move on and find them. Trust your
gut instinct most of all, cheaters lie
and then lie some more.

Part of the fun for cheaters is sneaking
around, once exposed it usually ends
their affair. End their fun and then move on.

You deserve better!!
 

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Personally, if you want children in the future, I wouldn't get snipped if I were you. I also wouldn't monitor her pill usage, as they can be flushed or put down the drain. So, counting them does no good. Stock up on Trojans instead, and use them diligently.
I thought of this, too.

Problem:

She is going to ask why?

For example:

What's with the condom?
Is there something you are trying to tell me?
Do you have an STD?
Do you think I am infected with something?
Are you seeing someone else?
You know I am on the pill, or I am using an IUD, why the condom?
Are you nuts?

If he tells her his true fears and is honest in his wording........

If he says, "Until we sort out whether or not you are cheating and whether or not I am going to divorce you, i am going to wear condoms".
"The last thing I want is a baby with you, with our marriage in such a bad place".

"I still want to have sex, you don't mind do you?"

Uh, huh....

That will go over nicely!

Just Sayin'


King Brian-
 

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Oh absolutely, I agree with you @SunCMars. BUT, say the OP gets a vasectomy, and decides he wants kids in years to come. He would then have to get that reversed for a fairly hefty price tag that no everyone can afford, or he goes without offspring. That's a really big decision with potentially big consequences. If I were OP, I would just go with the condom, and if she asks about it, I would just be honest. Their marriage isn't in a good place right now, and he wants to ensure that they don't bring a child into it until they're back on level ground again.
 

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Controlling, jealous, insecure, whatever she or anyone else wants to call it. This is not the marriage you want to have, you have every right to say it. If she doesn't want to change then you have every right to change it by ending it. If she says any of those things your response should be. I didn't marry you to have you have an "Emotional Girlfriend" in the middle of our relationship. I need better then that. If you can't do that then we need to move on. But you have to be willing to move on. You can't make her do anything, but you can control you.

It only gets this far because you don't have boundaries.
 

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She said she'd choose the gf over you. She's clearly given her similar status as her husband. She's batting for the other team. And no, women don't constantly have their hands all over one another if they aren't lesbians, just like guys don't have their hands all over one another if they're just friends.

What you have here is a woman that you clearly should send packing. You've been told you're just a wallet. You are. Find a woman who loves YOU.
 

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I had a best friend who I knew since we were babies. Sadly she passed on very young a few years ago. We were always at each others house and doing sleepovers growing up, always hanging out. As kids she would let me sleep in her bed and would take the floor.

As adults who sometimes lived 90 min away at times, one of us would come up with our kids and stay a few days at the other persons house. She would take the couch at my house, and me at hers.

A hug hello and goodbye would be the most we would ever touch. Maybe a side hug for pictures.

I was bff's with this chick for 37 years! No touchy feely stuff. No hand holding.
 
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