Wife's low sex drive, I need help!!

My wife and I were married in 1999 and right away, she already had a low sex drive. Now she is a larger women, not huge, but very insecure about her size. Whenever I initiate sex, she usually says I'm not in the mood, maybe tomorrow, you just got it a few days ago, etc.

It's been like this to present day and I was a skinny guy with glasses but now from weight training and laser eye surgery, I am about 230 lbs with close to 20/20 vision. My wife has gained to almost the same size as me. I'm 6ft 2 and she's 5ft 8. I've never called her fat but she knows she has to lose alot of weight at this point. Lots of talk, sweeping it under the rug and nothing happens.

I've done the chatting sites with many hot women because I'm lonely in that regard but I went cold turkey many years ago. I don't go to the bars, pubs, strip clubs, nothing and not even the beach.

I am 39 years old but the guys at the shop say I look young and about 30. This is due to the weight training and eating healthy over the years. I've had women in their early 20's interested to 40's. All of them take care of themselves and look great and sexy.

I take care of myself for my wife, marriage and health. You'd think she's want sex a lot more, but no difference on her part.

I've tried cuddling on the couch after work and holding her, listening to her day at work. Nothing changes sex wise.


At this point, I am thinking we are sexually incompatible and I probably would of never married her a second time around. I am so sexually starved, it's not funny.

I like to talk dirty, watch movies, always different times and positions and places, try new things. She only wants it in the bedroom, lights out and either doggie, spoon or I'm on top. I love oral sex but she would rather use her hand for far too long with little oral sex afterwards.


I need serious help, please!!!!!! Is this normal for a marriage? We have no kids yet and no medical conditions either.