[goldfishsk]

My wife basically has very limited number of friends and she does not have habit of being regularly in touch with them.

My issue started when I started seeing Messages of her ex Co-Worker in Messenger. Initially she used to tell me that he is flirty type and she and her friends are not much close to him.

Messaging started after he got another job. Messages are of normal nature like hi, how r u etc. Recently messages also comes as SMS.

Since the messages were normal I did not bothered. My doubt started when I saw history of few messages both incoming and reply in her mobile. Messages were deleted. She is having other male friends also but none of them message or call frequently.

I spoke to her and told her that this guy does not seem genuine. She said she just replies his message as he frequently messages and nothing else. She also messaged the guy not to message her in night as I dislike.

After that she is very close to me. She dont use messenger or whatsapp now. But I am worried as I know her character well and very choosy in making friends and suddenly one day a guy who was her co-worker intruded in our life and she replies to his messages which is very unfamiliar. Please advice

 

[Chaparral]

If she's deleting messages she's hiding something, why? Why did she say she is deleting some messages?

Where do you live?

 

[jsmart]

Deleting messages is a red flag. There is software that will recover data. I recommend you make the investment to get to the truth. May want to get a VAR velcroed under passenger seat of her car. You can pick one up at Best Buy for about 50 to 60 dollars.

How's everything else in relationship? (affection, sex,etc)
How long have you been married, and do you have kids, if so how many and how old.
Are you an attentive husband? help with housework, kids? date nights? letting her know you love her through words & actions?
Are you taking care of yourself? working out, dressing well, hair, hygiene on point?

Work on any shortcomings while you dig into her "friend."

 

[Be smart]

You are in trouble my friend.

First-your wife is deleting msg. from him
Second-she lied in front of your eyes,saying it is noothing,just answering bla bla.
Third-you have to find msg. that are deleted. Only the truth will make your marriage stronger

Maybe it is not late but tell your wife she needs to stop contacting him. No more contact and no more texting with males,especially at night and in bed with you.

If she need to do something work rel. then it is OK,but you need to watch it.

She have no boundaries.

Act before it is to late.

 

[goldfishsk]

In India. Wife did not told about deletion of message. When SMS started to come regularly at 9.30-10.30 PM i noticed. I found his name in call/message history of phone but in messages folder it was deleted

 

[goldfishsk]

@jsmart- I am married since 12 years with 2 kids. I think myself as attentive and sex life is also OK. She is also working. At the moment it has not gone out of my hands but was curious in deleting messages and not sharing the details. When I asked about few messages she got and replied (Deleted from inbox) on previous date she shaid she dont remember the content and said there is nothing unusual just like gud ngt etc. I am not convinced with this reply. as she received 3 messages and replied 2. and next day if she says she dont remember, I am just worried of that answer

 

[Chaparral]

Why would any man be texting your wife good night?

 

[dash74]

Start carrying a var around with you to protect yourself and read up on this if your situation goes south, India is a horrible place to devorce nowadays you need to go into this with open eyes

How to fight false cases of DV, maintenance, CrPC 125, 498A etc - Men Rights India

Why Indian men should be very careful in filing divorce - Men Rights India

 

[turnera]

I would tell her that you want to see the messages. That if he's a friend, what he says will be something YOU can see as well. And then tell her deleting messages from a male is unacceptable to you. That you are not telling her what she can do, but you are telling her that if she keeps deleting messages, you will consider her cheating and the marriage will be over. Then see what she does, and if she continues to delete them, follow through with starting a divorce.