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I think that ultimately, it is your wife's role to deal with her family. You need to support your wife, but stay in the background. When you get married, your spouse and children become your #1 priority. Anyone, including parents and siblings, come second. It sounds like your wife is trying to do the right thing. It can't be easy distancing herself from her own parents.

Take the high road. Support your wife. Make sure that she knows that putting her husband and children first is a noble thing to do. It is her family that are alienating themselves from you, not the other way around.
 
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