Wife's emotional affair vs my temper.

Hello all! This will be a bit of a story and I appreciate your input.

Three years ago my wife and I were married. We have had 3 children together prior to us getting married.

After child #3 my wife became very withdrawn from me sexually and gave her reasoning as, she did not feel attractive because her body had changed. My wife is and has always been beautiful (as many other men have mentioned). The idea of breast implants was brought up and I supported her if that was what she wanted. I just wanted my love life back and did not care one way or the other if she got implants.

She did, she felt great, we still never had a love life.

She then fell ill, had many medical problems and a hysterectomy (in her 30's). Sex was a no go for medical reasons and I stood by her side and supported her and cared for her.

Now well after she is healed and capable of sex, still nothing.

I have been aggressively swatted away upon any romantic gesture or caress. My wife will not kiss me with any passion and our kisses are little more than a peck.

About 9 months ago I found her sexting another man (a mutual friend), after that I found her emailing an ex boyfriend going on about how she pictures herself with him.

I grew very angry and suspicious of her. That piled on top of my frustration of not being able to make love or even kiss the woman who I do love so much for years put me right on the edge.

Then while walking past her desk I see a message on her screen from a third guy saying something along the lines of "Thanks for the naked pictures".

This is when reason went out the window. (but I was about to make a big mistake)

NOT PROUD OF THE FOLLOWING: I found the guys name, created an email in his wife's name and sent a message to my wife from that account telling her to find her own husband to send naked pictures to. My plan was to scare her into thinking she was caught and to scare her back to me.

Here is the kicker, she did send naked pictures, but not of her, she sent pictures of someone else.

With the fake email account I scared her into thinking "the other woman" sent pictures of her to me and I was going to be leaving.

Upon learning the pictures were of someone else I came clean and told her what I had done and why I had done it, and accepted responsibility for my actions.

She then let loose on social networks going on about what a had done to all the people she talked to that day. True I was an arse, yet I never felt the need (or seen any benefit) to telling the world what she had done to me over the past year or so.

When I learned she was broadcasting what I had done to the world (but naturally not mentioned what she has done in our personal marriage) I lost it.

Not proud, but after many years of neglect and being ignored despite my caring for her and providing for her every need and want, I snapped and broke the table.

Now I am informed that I am violent and we are both on the verge of walking away.

She has never apologized sincerely for what she has done, rather she yells at me in anger saying "it was just once" or "we were just kidding". I get no sense that any of this is her fault, just mine for loosing my temper. I do not deny I lost my temper and accept responsibility for what I did.

Is there hope to fix this?