What sucks is that (potentially) the pre-existing child's needs could well be ignored for the lovechild. He's probably got to let the issue lie, of course.

*Warning- sexist generalization ahead* Betrayed husbands seemingly often get the short end of the stick, legally. It's very, very unfair. He didn't ask for the marriage to go down at the hands of some half-assed high school fantasy.

 

What sucks is that (potentially) the pre-existing child's needs could well be ignored for the lovechild. y.

This, and being around a guy wasting away from cancer, the mother doing everything for the POSOM etc. the poor kid shoud be exposed to this. Also who s caring for him, helping play and be loved while the wife is running around caring for the POSOM and making appointments for him. There is no way she has anytime for the kid,so he's getting shuttled around with babysitters and grand parents.

What kind of message is that telling the kid? Thst everything in her life is about the POSOM and his new baby and not him. He's just an old toy she no longer wants, but won't give up.
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Thought I would give everyone an update. Things are going well, we sold all our stock and two of our properties, we will close a deal as a third property is concern in the next few weeks and then well only the house is left, not really any good offers have been made but it's something I already was counting on, either way is good to have most of it sold and cash in the bank! I'm going to the gym four times a week and keeping up with IC, I have good days, bad days, numb days but I'm surviving!

As far as stbxw goes we are getting along just fine, no drama, we just talk with regards to our son and decisions related to him and we are getting along well, when he is with me she is always in contact with him and when he is with her I'm always in contact with him. The POSOM is still breathing but I have had no contact with him and will keep it this way. Wife is also not pregnant long enough that you can see anything but she has that pregnancy glow all over her, it makes her even more beautiful and attractive than she already is and maybe I'm just a pervert but I do still feel attracted to this woman!!!

Well just wanted to give you guys an update, wishing you all a good year and that we are all able to overcome our struggles!!!!

 

I was hoping you'd be reporting POSOM's demise.

Sorry if that seems harsh, but the world will be a better place without scum like him in it.

As for him knocking her up, frankly it's disgusting that they did that. The kid will be born with a dead in the grave father and selfish cheat for a mother. They should both be charged with a crime for getting her pregnant with his bastard kid.

 

I hear you man but yea POSOM is still holding on, I heard from BIL that he is still doing chemo and they hope he will get a transplant soon! I'm sure stbxw is using all her contacts and influence to do whatever they can do save him and finding him a match, she did the same for my mom when she had cancer so I'm even more certain she must be doing it for POSOM.

 

She left you high and dry while she already has a second family and pregnant.

Move on... Don't stay bitter though you have every reason to be.

 

Good to see that you're surviving and moving on even though it's painful.

Take good care of your son. He's going to need all your love and example when he finds out what type of mother he has.

 

Maybe you can ask her not to rub it in your face(talking and texting to the OM) when you are around.

 

This thread has made so incredibly depressed, there were times I just couldn't continue. Bleeding, I'm so so sorry man, I can only begin to imagine the pain you're going through. It just wasn't meant to be brother. I don't know how you'll recover from this but I sincerely pray that you do.

People who treat others like this never end up well later in life. Their callousness and complete disregard for you feelings especially on behalf of your wife's part just breaks my heart. The mere fact you kept your sanity throughout all of this is remarkable. I hate the fact she willingly went along the marriage knowing she didn't really love you, how utterly cruel to play with someone's heart like this. But don't worry though, there's a silver lining behind every cloud and a completely devoted woman is just right around the corner.

You have to learn lessons from this though, women being friends with a long term ex partners and her crying on the wedding day is a MASSIVE red flag.

Please keep us updated.

 

Thank you guys, I appreciate your support, I'm happy I found TAM and all of you, it has definitely helped me to keep myself sane.

I'm just working on myself and being here for my son, I know down the road I will be okay, one day at a time but I'm surviving and I will be okay.

Not really much talking/texting with him in front of me, we never together long enough for POSOM call or text her, I was by their house the other day (was near by and decided see my son) my son wanted to show me his room, POSOM and I just ignored each other, no talk, no looks, nothing, we acted like if the other doesn't exist and it's how it will always be.

 

I don't get why she has custody and is allowed to live with the new guy with your son. Is your son getting therapy?
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Custody is 50/50, my son is one week with me, one week with her. Yes, he is getting therapy.

 

detach yourself from her as much as u can.

You deserve a lot better woman than her.and there r plenty

happy new year

 

Happy New Year! Heal, rebuild and make the most of 2012. Life will get better.

Hope to hear from you in future.

 

Thought I would update. Got a call this morning from BIL, OM will be submitted tomorrow morning to a transplant, I not sure how I feel about this, if I feel anything at all... there's just this blank on my mind right now, numb.

 

Screw him. You were numb to him when he decided to wreck your family and not respect boundaries.

 

With all his problems she must have pulled some strings. Hope someone else doesn't loose out because they wasted an organ on him.

 

Listed on the transplant list or getting a transplant organ?
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Getting a bone marrow transplant.

 

Bleeding......your child should not be around all the drama happening at their house, he is going to be increasingly neglected.....pregnancy and now the transplant........go for full custody, she can visit him (child) at McDonalds.....he should not be in that home.

On the otherhand, one reason veteran elementary school teachers don't get sick very often is that their immunity is built up from all the germs and such their darling students bring into the classroom, when you get a bone marrow transplant they zap your immune system........remind your wife of this or NOT.
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My stbxw takes very good care of him, she is a ****ing ***** but she does take good care of him, he and her have a very strong bond, he is very connected to her, there's no way she would ever agree with anything than what we have 50/50 and I'm not gonna put my son through a court battle.

Yea, I hear you, one can only hope...

 

Is your son going to therapy? Because this is going to serious scar him for life - seeing his mother turn on his father and trash you like this.

Yours is frankly one of the worst stories here on TAM. I feel heartbroken for your son and what he is being exposed to by her.

 

Yeah, this thread depresses me. I can only wonder what bleeding is going through.

 

Yes, my son is going to therapy. When she moved out that same week she got him into therapy.

I'm going through hell but holding on...