[Bleeding]

just hacked wife's email chat account, the chats from this last two hours are awful, seems that confronting her just escalated the affair, they moving it to became a physical affair...I can't believe I'm going through this...they talking about "making love" "being inside her" it feels like knifes all over my body, wtf???? I feel numb...

 

[calif_hope]

Do you have kids, how old. How faraway does he live. I know hard but try to get some sleep, for God sake no drinking!
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[Bleeding]

yes, we have a 3 year old. He has been 3 states away staying with his brother, is moving back to his home 1 hour away this week.

 

[calif_hope]

Sorry, just read about your 3 year old son......you tell your wife that your son will never, never be around someone suffering from PTSD........that your son will stay with you if she leaves....
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[aug]

Save all the evidence you find. Secure them in a safe place.

Get control of the finance immediately. Hide or secure them.

Do you live in an at-fault State?

Do you live in an "alienation of affection" State?

 

[Bleeding]

Sorry, just read about your 3 year old son......you tell your wife that your son will never, never be around someone suffering from PTSD........that your son will stay with you if she leaves....
Posted via Mobile Device

I will, I don't want my son near him, he suffers from severe PTSD and was or is on medication, I won't go into details for obvious reasons but this guy went through and did some horrible things while deployed over there, I do not want my son near him.

 

[Bleeding]

I live in a no fault state. I will take charge of our joint account tomorrow morning.

 

[aug]

yes, we have a 3 year old. He has been 3 states away staying with his brother, is moving back to his home 1 hour away this week.

Who's moving back? The other man?

 

[Bleeding]

yes he is moving back this week, I just found out this, he has been 3 states away since he was discharged.

 

[aug]

Tomorrow when you're out, go get 1 or 2 voice activated recorders (VAR). They are fairly cheap.

Keep one with you at all times. Especially when around your wife. You dont want her to start accusing you of assault. The VAR may save you.

 

[aug]

Follow jnj advice in the post above.

Plan what you have to do tomorrow. Try to get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a hectic day for you.

You dont move out. Doing so may jeopardize your chances of getting favorable custody of your son. Let your wife leave if she wants to.

 

[Bleeding]

Tomorrow when you're out, go get 1 or 2 voice activated recorders (VAR). They are fairly cheap.

Keep one with you at all times. Especially when around your wife. You dont want her to start accusing you of assault. The VAR may save you.

I'm gonna look for it and gonna get it, I'm in total disbelief I'm going through something like this.

 

[Bleeding]

Follow jnj advice in the post above.

Plan what you have to do tomorrow. Try to get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a hectic day for you.

You dont move out. Doing so may jeopardize your chances of getting favorable custody of your son. Let your wife leave if she wants to.

Thanks, i really appreciate the advice I'm getting here. I'm gonna follow all the advice I'm getting, thank you for helping me out.

 

[aug]

And, moving out (if you do) may be considered abandonment by the courts.

 

[Bleeding]

And, moving out (if you do) may be considered abandonment by the courts.

we own the house 50/50 and I have no intention of moving out.

 

[aug]

Because she's in the thralls of her EA, dont believe what she says. She's now in survival mode trying to keep her EA alive. She will lie or do what she can to keep her EA alive.

Any remorse on her part wont happen for quite a while.

When you have time, you should read http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/24796-just-let-them-go.html This letting go is for your benefit, for your mental health.

 

[lordmayhem]

I live in a no fault state. I will take charge of our joint account tomorrow morning.

Then you had better do that first thing. We've seen many times when the WS is deep in the fog of their affair, that they will clean out any joing accounts and run up any credit cards.

You also need to consult a lawyer and see what your options are and try to get an temporary child custody order. Never just assume that children will go to the WW. And get the morality clause into there, that OM cant ever be around the children, with you mentioning is PTSD issues, that would help bolster your case.

If this OM has been in your marriage from the beginning like you describe, then this is yet another one of those cases that the entire marriage has been a lie. This is seen all the time, where the WS only settles with the BS (you) because they are the stable one, but keeps their former lover in their heart. Sorry to have to tell you this, but she only married you because you were there, while he went off into the military. She would have gladly married him if he didn't go away, you were only her second choice. We see this type of situation all the time here.

Since OM is divorced, there is no OMW to expose the affair to, but you can expose it to family and friends. Whether she admits it or not, she's been in a long term EA with him, so she's been very deep in the fog for a long time, which explains why she's been witholding sex from you. Sorry that you're in this situation.

I would say your chances of R are slim to none because OM has been involved in your marriage from the beginning. She's been in contact with him the entire marriage, provided a shoulder to cry on, and confiding their most intimate marital issues for him. It sucks to read another story where the WS has been with the OP before the marriage and all thru it the whole time.

 

[Bleeding]

Then you had better do that first thing. We've seen many times when the WS is deep in the fog of their affair, that they will clean out any joing accounts and run up any credit cards.

You also need to consult a lawyer and see what your options are and try to get an temporary child custody order. Never just assume that children will go to the WW. And get the morality clause into there, that OM cant ever be around the children, with you mentioning is PTSD issues, that would help bolster your case.

If this OM has been in your marriage from the beginning like you describe, then this is yet another one of those cases that the entire marriage has been a lie. This is seen all the time, where the WS only settles with the BS (you) because they are the stable one, but keeps their former lover in their heart. Sorry to have to tell you this, but she only married you because you were there, while he went off into the military. She would have gladly married him if he didn't go away, you were only her second choice. We see this type of situation all the time here.

Since OM is divorced, there is no OMW to expose the affair to, but you can expose it to family and friends. Whether she admits it or not, she's been in a long term EA with him, so she's been very deep in the fog for a long time, which explains why she's been witholding sex from you. Sorry that you're in this situation.

I would say your chances of R are slim to none because OM has been involved in your marriage from the beginning. She's been in contact with him the entire marriage, provided a shoulder to cry on, and confiding their most intimate marital issues for him. It sucks to read another story where the WS has been with the OP before the marriage and all thru it the whole time.

Thanks man, I gonna follow your advice and as heart breaking as it is I think you probably right and I been the second choice all along, can't believe I find myself in this situation. I wish there were some hope of saving my marriage but you probably right and the chances are close to none. I'm gonna wait another hour or two and gonna start making phone calls I will expose to both their families, friends and anyone I can think of.

I also talk with the OM, he was apologetic, sorry for the "pain" is causing me but wants to "make this easier for everyone" "loves" my wife, "always has" thats why is "marriage didn't work" if wasn't for my wife "would have just wanted to die over there" "can't live without her" I "don't need her" but he "does" and "we should deal with this as adults" I was really friends with this guy, really cared about him and his service. This all seems just a horrible nightmare... I just can't believe I'm in this position...

 

[Almostrecovered]

talking to the OM is next to worthless, it only gives him a chance to justify his sh!tty actions and make himself feel better

 

[Sindo]

It may go without saying, but when exposing, do not reveal that you have hacked her e-mail. Let them think all the information you have comes from when she forgot to sign off.

Access is valuable whether going through divorce or attempted reconciliation. Don't tip your hand.