I recently found out that my wife has been having an EA with an old highschool boyfriend and has been very sneaky about it.
Background first
We've been together 19 years,married 13, have 4 kids and I thought we were all good. She has approached me before about attention and not getting enough and companionship. I kinda blew it off and worked on it half heartedly. My dad recently died of cancer and it has been tough on me as of late as he only passed a month ago.
I saw this coming for about the past 3 weeks she was constantly on her phone texting, facebooking, pintrest, and i dont know what else.
Whenever I asked to check her texts she would freak out and say no.
Long story short I finally found out she had been texting an old highschool boyfriend. She had his number hid under his sisters name in her phone, who we are also friends with. So she came clean said ahe was texting him because she wasnt getting attention from me and she needed companionship. I found texts to her friends saying she doesnt desire me anymore and is afraid I'm going to end up cheating on him, not sexually though.
All the time i found out in the evenings she was texting this OM for 3-4 hours straight while im in the other room wondering why she isnt in here hangin with me.
She told me nothing physical happened between them. I believe her. Even though my wife has recently obtained her license to become a massage therapist, she gave this guy a massage and didnt tell me about it. She only gave me and 2 other women massages in her life. Im hoping that is all that happened.
Then I question her about the texts between them and she says the worst it got was telling him she has a hard time with orgasams and needs to use a vibrator. So much for just companionship and attention.
So I contacted are cell phone company and had all hthe texts messages perserved as far back as they could. She insists that there is nothing more than she hasn't already told me. I need her to sign the consent form and she doesnt want to. She thinks that if I read all the mean bad stuff I wont take her back. I suspect there is more she doesnt want me to see. If I dont get these texts it will haunt me the rest of my life!
What should I do? I love her my kids and our family. I want to save this but only if its worth saving. Any suggestions?
Background first
We've been together 19 years,married 13, have 4 kids and I thought we were all good. She has approached me before about attention and not getting enough and companionship. I kinda blew it off and worked on it half heartedly. My dad recently died of cancer and it has been tough on me as of late as he only passed a month ago.
I saw this coming for about the past 3 weeks she was constantly on her phone texting, facebooking, pintrest, and i dont know what else.
Whenever I asked to check her texts she would freak out and say no.
Long story short I finally found out she had been texting an old highschool boyfriend. She had his number hid under his sisters name in her phone, who we are also friends with. So she came clean said ahe was texting him because she wasnt getting attention from me and she needed companionship. I found texts to her friends saying she doesnt desire me anymore and is afraid I'm going to end up cheating on him, not sexually though.
All the time i found out in the evenings she was texting this OM for 3-4 hours straight while im in the other room wondering why she isnt in here hangin with me.
She told me nothing physical happened between them. I believe her. Even though my wife has recently obtained her license to become a massage therapist, she gave this guy a massage and didnt tell me about it. She only gave me and 2 other women massages in her life. Im hoping that is all that happened.
Then I question her about the texts between them and she says the worst it got was telling him she has a hard time with orgasams and needs to use a vibrator. So much for just companionship and attention.
So I contacted are cell phone company and had all hthe texts messages perserved as far back as they could. She insists that there is nothing more than she hasn't already told me. I need her to sign the consent form and she doesnt want to. She thinks that if I read all the mean bad stuff I wont take her back. I suspect there is more she doesnt want me to see. If I dont get these texts it will haunt me the rest of my life!
What should I do? I love her my kids and our family. I want to save this but only if its worth saving. Any suggestions?