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I am 49 and my wife is 45.
She's been in an major affair with 3 guys at the same time. Primarily texts (but real raunchy stuff with lovers number 2 & 3) but pure sex with lover number 1.

The primary (lover) culprit is a 2 bit actor who has been bedding her for the past 10 years.

I discovered the affairs accidently and have been going through an emotional hell. When confronted the first time, she apologised & cried BUT 3 months later I found she was still in touch with the 2-bit actor. Again, when confronted, she sweared off him and promised that she would BREAK contact with the guy. I think like a fool I believed her the second time.

However, I again noticed a couple of days ago that she had another cell phone bought secretly with a new cell number which she was using to call her lover. I am at my wits end honestly. And an *emotional wreck* by now. I have not been able to sleep for an hour at a time and this is taking a toll on my health and sanity.

I tried resorting to alcohol but this is affecting my work. I suspect she is not concerned though she portrays that she does. She is quick to apologies but turns true to type (going by my past experience).

I have been a very faithful husband who has been very very suppportive of her nature, likes, dislikes, her family and a **** lot more.


Any suggestions?????????

I have been tolerating all this coz of my two kids who are in their teens. Will then understand if I tell them that I need to move on to Maintain My Sanity? Sometimes I feel like killing myself OR the two culprits who have messed up my life. Please help..........
 

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You want this to end---if its possible---she needs to look D in the face---then she is gonna be forced to decide---is this lowlife actor gonna be able to take care of me---or do I need to stay with my H----So either tell her D is on the table, or pack her bags, throw her out, and tell her to go live with her lovers

That somewhat simplified takes care of her----what about you---why are you staying---how do you love someone who cheats on you with 3 guys, and who has been with another man for 10 yrs---which then brings the real question-

--if she decides to stay with you, why is she staying with you---cuz you feed and bankroll her---cuz she certainly doesn't need you for sex---and if she does stay, what's to keep her from going underground and hiding her tracks better

You better think long and hard about your future, and what you want from it
 

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Go see a lawyer and find out what your rights are. It's hard enough dealing with all the unknowns. What you need is tangible information to help you focus your mind, and talking to some lawyers can do that.

In my opinion this is a no brainer. For ten years your wife lived a double life screwing another man while pretending she loved you and you were her only one. Well, she is a liar to her core. You have been her secure island, a meal ticket. Nothing more. I would file for divorce and kick her out. Children or no.
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1. Get Tested for paternity
2. Have your children tested for paternity
3. Find a good lawyer

How much more humiliation and disrespect are you willing to endure? If the roles were reversed do you honestly think that she would have put up with such humiliation and disrespect?

Good God man, if you do not respect yourself then who will? Tell your teens the truth. Your wife's behavior has been abhorrent and has made your entire marriage one giant farce. Enough is enough!
 

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Lawyer ASAP, self protection, filing.
Specific exposure to OM1-2-3's wives or significan't others, maybe universal exposure or at least to people who she cares about and can influence her.
Hard, dark 180 on her.
 

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I have been tolerating all this coz of my two kids who are in their teens. Will then understand if I tell them that I need to move on to Maintain My Sanity? Sometimes I feel like killing myself OR the two culprits who have messed up my life. Please help
Don't kill yourself over this deceitful, backstabbing [email protected]#ch. She is the one who is wrong, she is the one harming the family not you. You need to separate from her and get a divorce. Expose her actions to your family and hers as well. Put her actions in the spotlight for all to see. Affairs thrive in secrecy. It the 2 bit actor has a wife or GF, tell them as well.

Your kids are teenagers and are old enough to understand her actions even if it will hurt them. Staying with your wife definitely will not help YOU or your CHILDREN. Seek counseling and get support from your family members.

There are alot of other women out there who will treat you better then this. Your wife is not the last woman on earth. Too many options out there to settle for her.
 

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Bad behavior continues with out consequences.

Your old lady has your number and knows you ain't going anywere so she just strings you along.

I think you can give your kids a better example of a father and as a man, when you get this women that is bring out the worst in you, out of your life.

I think your kids diserve a happy father and a better examble of a healthy relationship when you find someone new.

I also think you could give your kids a better examble of self respect when you tell them you will no longer share their mother with other men.
 

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Quite simply, she's only a cheater because she's married to you.

Looks like, given her history, she's not going to quit. In fact, she's learning to take it deeper underground.

And it appears, you do not want to make the difficult decision to divorce her for her serial cheating. So, you locked yourself into a limbo, unwilling to move forward properly by giving her consequences.

Your emotional anguish is of your own making. You know what she's like for the last decade or more. And you tolerate it. She did not get better or more considerate of you. In fact, she took on extra lovers.

You have the ability to decide your future. But, instead, you lock yourself into supporting her adultery.
 

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I have been tolerating all this coz of my two kids who are in their teens. Will then understand if I tell them that I need to move on to Maintain My Sanity? Sometimes I feel like killing myself OR the two culprits who have messed up my life. Please help..........

Should that be 4 culprits? Your wife and her 3 lovers?
 

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You need to unload this woman. It's not like she got drunk, lost her head and took a tumble in the back seat of her car in some remote parking lot somewhere. She's a repeat cheater who cares about herself and herself only. She not only disrespects you but your family as well.

One thing your kids need is a stable parent in the house and she isn't it. Now your saying sometimes you feel like killing yourself which I know is just a figure of speech but fat lot of good it's doing your kids when they have two parents that aren't being or acting rational.

Here's what you do and LISTEN TO ME PLEASE! Take a good look at your wife. A 45 year old woman who is nothing but a piss poor excuse of a wife and a woman and doesn't give a sh!t about anyone but herself. Now. Take a good look at your kids. Remember. They didn't ask to be born. You and your wife brought them in to this world. You tell me and everyone else replying on this thread, who is more important to you. A cheating liar of a wife whose ruining the family or your kids who did nothing wrong. Which one is going to need stability more. An uncontrollable wife or kids that need a parent that will be there for them, to guide them, help them, give them the security that they need. You don't really need to give this much thought in this if your the responsible parent and man that you are. Your kids come first come hell or high water.

As long as your children know that YOU will be there for them and love them and give them the stability of a good home life, you and your kids will survive. Your family has a cancer growing on it and that cancer is your wife. Get her out of there and give your kids a chance.
 

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What advice do you want? Your wife is who she is, and every time you catch her she will cry crocodile tears and go right back to what she's doing. You can either accept that and live your life accordingly or get rid of her. I wouldn't be surprised if she's planning to ditch your anyway once the kids are out of the house, unless of course she can't get one of her lovers to help take care of her in which case she'll keep you around. If that's how you want to live then stick around.
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