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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I want everyone's opinion on this topic be brutally honest. I worked hard for 20 years and saved quite a bit of money I'd never been married before I got married and my wife and I settled down. I had worked hard over the years and saved all of my money.
I was fortunate enough to pay cash for the brand new house that we bought.
My job before getting married was buying houses fixing them and selling them but the economy was bad at the time and I just couldn't find anything.
My wife got a job at Walmart and started working.
I do have still quite a bit of money in the bank between what my wife was making and since our house was paid off I could stay home and take care of the new baby that just arrived.

I took my wife's paycheck every week I paid all of the bills and they're all the rest of it I put it in the bank and saved every single penny.
I don't drink I don't do any drugs I'm a stay-at-home dad 247 in the house.
My wife went to Europe from June July and August of every year I would allow her to go back to Europe and visit with her family.

Every year went like this 3 months out of the year her going back and spending the whole summer with her family and Europe. Now how many people do you know that get to do that take 3 months out of the year every single year and go to Europe on European vacation?
After several years went by she started growing resentful of the fact that I was taking her check paying all of our bills putting whatever was left over in savings and allowing her to go to Europe every year.(there are some stupid comments.yes l let her go.duh)

She felt that I should be paying for her to go to your about all the savings that I had and she should be able to spend her money on whatever she wanted.



I would like you to weigh-in on this topic ask me any questions that you want tell me was I being fair or was I being a jerk?
 

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I’m not sure if this is a genuine post but it’s early and I have nothing better to do.

Look up “Controlling” in the dictionary, there’s probably a picture of you beside the word.
You speak about “letting” your wife do certain things. She’s not your child she’s supposed to be your partner.
Do you “let” her have access to her bank account when she’s in Europe?
And to answer your question yes, you are a jerk.
 

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You would “allow her” to go? What is she…your possession?
Why can’t she spend some money she earns? Why does every penny have to be saved?
What does the family spend money on? Do you ever go on a family vacation? Does she get her hair or nails done? Is money spent going out for the evening together?
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I’m not sure if this is a genuine post but it’s early and I have nothing better to do.

Look up “Controlling” in the dictionary, there’s probably a picture of you beside the word.
You speak about “letting” your wife do certain things. She’s not your child she’s supposed to be your partner.
Do you “let” her have access to her bank account when she’s in Europe?
And to answer your question yes, you are a jerk.
Does your wife go to.Europe every year for 3 months?
Are u even married?
 

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@Danintheusa

Some more info would really help.

How long have you been married?

Does your wife have access to the bank accounts that her income is deposited into, the savings accounts, etc.?

Did your wife agree to you not working before you two married?
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
@Danintheusa

Some more info would really help.

How long have you been married?

Does your wife have access to the bank accounts that her income is deposited into, the savings accounts, etc.?

Did your wife agree to you not working before you two married?
Too long.lol.
Yes she has.
And yes I'm controlling.
If I didn't do that every single penny would be to spend on clothes and shoes and things of that nature.
We had no idea I would not be working rhe first few years when we got married.
I did finally get a fixer upper and made a huge return on it.
So what ur thinking is.
I personally would rather have control over my own money and not have my husband control me.
We tried separation.WHERE SHE CONTROLLED HER OWN LIFE.SHE LIVED IN A ****TY APT AND DROVE A **** CAR BUT HAD LOTS OF NICE CLOTHES. MIND YOU ON THE SAME MONIES SHE MADE WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER. I HAD A NEW TRUCK, ****TY CLOTHES AND A NICE APT.
after a while she how hard it was to be a single parent and we got back together for the sake of the family.
But no more trips to Europe for her.
Uh uh fuk that.
She had a new house paid for.

(WITH MY MONEY SHE DIDNT HAVE A PENNY WHEN WE MARRIED)
NEW CAR
MONEY TO SPEND
YES NAILS DONE HAIR DONE
ETCETERA
when he parents visited from Europe who paid for their airline tickets??
Duh...
No more of that ****.
She hasnt been to Europe in years now and I will never pay for that again.
NEVER. CALL IT WHAT U LIKE.

She wanted freedom ok no problem
But your European vacation days are gone honey.
She spent more money on clothes trips and bringing her parents here then she made.
 

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Too long.lol.
Yes she has.
And yes I'm controlling.
If I didn't do that every single penny would be to spend on clothes and shoes and things of that nature.
We had no idea I would not be working rhe first few years when we got married.
I did finally get a fixer upper and made a huge return on it.
So what ur thinking is.
I personally would rather have control over my own money and not have my husband control me.
We tried separation.WHERE SHE CONTROLLED HER OWN LIFE.SHE LIVED IN A *TY APT AND DROVE A * CAR BUT HAD LOTS OF NICE CLOTHES. MIND YOU ON THE SAME MONIES SHE MADE WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER. I HAD A NEW TRUCK, ****TY CLOTHES AND A NICE APT.
after a while she how hard it was to be a single parent and we got back together for the sake of the family.
But no more trips to Europe for her.
Uh uh fuk that.
She had a new house paid for.

(WITH MY MONEY SHE DIDNT HAVE A PENNY WHEN WE MARRIED)
NEW CAR
MONEY TO SPEND
YES NAILS DONE HAIR DONE
ETCETERA
when he parents visited from Europe who paid for their airline tickets??
Duh...
No more of that ****.
She hasnt been to Europe in years now and I will never pay for that again.
NEVER. CALL IT WHAT U LIKE.

She wanted freedom ok no problem
But your European vacation days are gone honey.
She spent more money on clothes trips and bringing her parents here then she made.
In most marriages, each person in the marriage gets an allowance of the same amount that the person spend with no questions asked.
Then the rest is spent or invested in an agreed upon manner for the benefit of the marriage.

It works for most.
 

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Don't be shocked when she leaves you for someone else.

Then you can find another woman you can "allow" to do things.

Good luck.
 

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In most marriages, each person in the marriage gets an allowance of the same amount that the person spend with no questions asked.
Then the rest is spent or invested in an agreed upon manner for the benefit of the marriage.

It works for most.
Is that really what most marriage do? It sounds like a good arrangement. I don't know everyone's situation, but all those family members and friends were I have that level of awareness don't do it that way and we don't do it that way. Everything is joint accounts. Both checks go into our joint account and all bills are paid from there. If we individually want something we just buy it. If it is on the expensive side we talk first. We talk about what percentages go into retirement, etc. Now I do manage our finances, but my wife has open and free access. I just let her know if our discretionary money is getting low and to hold off until payday.
 

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Is that really what most marriage do? It sounds like a good arrangement. I don't know everyone's situation, but all those family members and friends were I have that level of awareness don't do it that way and we don't do it that way. Everything is joint accounts. Both checks go into our joint account and all bills are paid from there. If we individually want something we just buy it. If it is on the expensive side we talk first. We talk about what percentages go into retirement, etc. Now I do manage our finances, but my wife has open and free access. I just let her know if our discretionary money is getting low and to hold off until payday.
Always had a joint account. Everything has always been ours no matter where it came from.
 

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Is that really what most marriage do? It sounds like a good arrangement. I don't know everyone's situation, but all those family members and friends were I have that level of awareness don't do it that way and we don't do it that way. Everything is joint accounts. Both checks go into our joint account and all bills are paid from there. If we individually want something we just buy it. If it is on the expensive side we talk first. We talk about what percentages go into retirement, etc. Now I do manage our finances, but my wife has open and free access. I just let her know if our discretionary money is getting low and to hold off until payday.
I think some form exists. People who have good will probably don't need such an arrangement as much.
I think most couples keep their personal standard of living within the marriage relatively close to each other for harmony.
Not driving a Lamborghini while the wife drives a breaking down Ford.
 

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How do you keep track of her when she is in Europe?

When you allow her to go where does she get her daily living expenses from? Does she have a daily allowance or something like that you put on a bank card?

She probably needs a work visa to work over there above board which is unfortunate because she could work at ASDA or something there and keep sending the money back. Three months is a long time, is she French? Maybe Carrefour then.
 

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1. Judging by your posts it seems to me and others that you may have a control issue. I also wonder if abuse is going on.
2. Does your wife take the child with her? I find it odd that she would leave a child behind for three months.
3. There is something seriously wrong in a marriage when you "allow" your partner to do things.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
1. Judging by your posts it seems to me and others that you may have a control issue. I also wonder if abuse is going on.
2. Does your wife take the child with her? I find it odd that she would leave a child behind for three months.
3. There is something seriously wrong in a marriage when you "allow" your partner to do things.
Really are you married??
Does your wife go to the bar without your consent?
 
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