[Prodigal]

Has anyone considered that she may have "girlfriends" on Instagram with whom she flirts? Perhaps that's her reason for not letting @deadsave on her account.

 

[Prodigal]

I'm genuinely seeking understanding.

Instagram is just FB but with more photos IMO. If you follow your wife, you'll get to see what she's saying/sharing with others. Which is why I questioned if she may be flirting with women. I mean, who knows? She could be posting pics of herself and asking others what they think. She could be doing some messaging. Unless she has something to hide, I can't imagine why she'd care if you follow her or not.

 

[Prodigal]

We had a good three hour discussion the other day about whether masturbation was a sin.

Three hours on a specific subject is a deep dive. Where does your wife stand on the subject? In the three hours, was she unyielding in her opinion? Did she consider your POV?

 

[Prodigal]

I’d like to know but he’s scared of us.

I figure @deadsave has me on "ignore" or has simply chosen to ignore my comments. His life. His choice.

 

[Prodigal]

1 Corinthians 7: "Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time; that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control"

Self-control in this context means fidelity. It's also clear that husbands and wives are to submit to each other. IOW God wants married couples to have healthy sex lives - not that crap your wife is dishing out.

 

[Prodigal]

There's nothing about our marriage that's honoring God.

So she's one of those pseudo-Christians who puts on a nice show at church and comes home to treat you with blatant disrespect. Pretty sure you could divorce her over that.

 

[Prodigal]

The fact that she's denied you a real sex life the entire marriage and not shown you the Christ-like love she's supposed to .... sounds like a pretty sound reason to me.

 

[Prodigal]

What's troubling is the fact that the Spirit hasn't convicted her of her sin.

Have you ever considered that she's not really a Christian but merely a religious person who attends church? Jesus certainly had a lot to say about "religious people."

P.S. - Jesus also addressed hypocrites - frequently.

 

[Prodigal]

Dying daily to self. What does this look like in regards to sexual desire?

I've come to the conclusion that you're one of those people who follows the path of "religiosity" rather than "relationship." And, as you said, your marriage does not reflect Christianity. Rigidity? Yep. Religious dogma twisted to meet your POV? Again, yep. If you and your wife are Christians as you claim, why aren't both of you meeting with church pastors to work on these problems? Does your church offer marriage weekend retreats? I've never been in one that didn't.

Dying to self is NOT about marital sex. It addresses the old self (pre-Christian) dying and the new self being born. Jesus discussed it with Nicodemus.

So you can spout legalism all you want about divorce, but in light of the fact that your marriage isn't even a reflection of your so-called "faith" and is not honoring God, you're merely an actor in this farce.

 

[Prodigal]

Because then the helpers would know she isn’t who she portrays herself to be. Keeping up appearances is paramount.

Yes, just like the Pharisees. They were big on appearances. Jesus really went off on them. As I recall, he pointed out their hypocrisy, and had some choice names for them.

 

[Prodigal]

OP is going to use any and all excuses, no matter how wacky, to remain in a dead marriage with a horrible woman. Sure, God looks upon divorce unfavorably, for the most part. But last time I looked, God was really big in the forgiveness business. So, it's not like OP is damned to eternal hell fire if he divorces this woman. Kinda ironic, in a way. Two legalistic "Christians" each use the strict letter of the law to further their agenda. And, like OP said, there's nothing remotely Christian about their marriage.

Ah, well, next on the agenda ....