[Livvie]

Ask her.

Honestly, when will enough be enough?

 

[Livvie]

I guess I've lived in this reality for so long that it's become the norm. Aside from my relationship with my wife, I love my life. My job, kids, side hustles, house...I'm very content. I know leaving the marriage will completely destroy everything. And being treated like a second class citizen isn't enough for me to throw it all away.

I've heard many people say "kids are resilient" and go through divorce all the time. Yet I listen to a mental health podcast where so many guys call in with problem xyz, and sometimes it's traced back to "being abandoned" by their dad when their dad left their mom. I'm not going to be that guy. If my wife is having some kind of emotional affair with someone on social media, sharing nude photos of herself, or some other kinds of inappropriate behavior, then that's her choosing to end the marriage and she can bear the responsibility for abandoning her kids.

I recognize the problem and the fact that there's no "easy button" that will fix it. I didn't create this thread looking for advice on what to do with my situation. As most have commented, that advice has been given over and over again. I get it.

Just as she may be one of the 50% who have another (or multiple) partner(s) waiting in the wings, I am fully ready to file for divorce when that person is finally revealed.

Your posts here don't sound content.

Divorce isn't abandoning your kids. If you split custody 50 50 there is zero abandonment. You will still have your job, side hustle, home, kids, etc. but just not with this terrible woman.

Your wife is a horror show of a mother to your kids. I'm not exaggerating. A horror show. That bit about her telling her child she doesn't know if she'd be sad if he died.. .still makes me feel sick. Literally sick. As a fellow mother I can't express how DISGUSTING that is. Burn this into your brain: I am certain I love my DOG and give him more love and care (my dog knows I love him) than this horror does her own children

For you to say you are happy and content exposing your kids to living full time with this woman is just gross.

For your to know what kind of a mother she is and write that you love your life, knowing what kind of a woman you are making a life with makes me have less than zero respect for you. Less than zero.

 

[Livvie]

She's probably having multiple affairs. This is a woman who clearly runs the household and does what she pleases. He's her servant, nothing more.

I bet she's most certainly not. She doesn't even believe in masturbation.

She just doesn't like OP at all.

She doesn't even like (much less love) her kids. And they know it.

 

[Livvie]

But it's not just sex.

She's an awful partner in many ways and is a detrimental mother to the kids.

 

[Livvie]

Nothing is going to change this woman's personality, or her heart.

I think it's too bad you believe god or Jesus or whomever wants you to live this way.

 

[Livvie]

I’ll say it again. If God wanted you to grow, have more strength, and become a leader. Maybe his way of doing that would be to put you with a woman that needed that strength in you. when you become that man, you both will know the meaning of one flesh.
Nothing will change until you do @deadsave

Oh come on.

Norhing OP does or doesn't do is going to change this woman's personality.

She doesn't even have love for her children.

Nothing is going to change her personality dysfunction.

 

[Livvie]

Just my opinion. But I’m not convinced that deadsaves wife is necessarily repulsed by him. She absolutely feels superior to him him and expects everything to be her way.
Her selfishness is off the charts!
I personally feel that if DS would stand up to her and express that he will no longer accept anything less that an at minimum, a mutual marriage. She may soften a bit.
I also feel that from what I read. DS is far to focused on the sex part and she has drawn a line in the sand. I realize that she is not affectionate either.But that may be because if she is, it’s an automatic sex expectation. So she shuts that down as well.
I still think that if sex were completely taken off the table and the focus put on encouraging ( very slowly) intimacy and leadership. In time, things may change.
If not, then at least everything has been played out and DS will find the strength to accept it or leave it.

But it’s also possible that this is the coldest woman I’ve ever heard of and that may never change.

And how do you explain her absolute lack of love for her children?

 

[Livvie]

I'm most concerned about the children.

I'm going to say it plainly. OP you are failing your children in a major way by not getting a divorce and having them away from this woman at least part of the time.

Why do you not feel god needs you to be a champion for them, get them out of this current situation and make a loving home for them with you, half the time?