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Discussion Starter #1
Hi,

First post here. My wife WILL NOT perform oral sex on me. In three years of marriage she has given me

head *maybe* three times all of them she just opens her mouth in bed and wants me to stick it in her

mouth she does't even suck its all teeth and last less than a minute and I give up because its

horriable. On our first date she sucked me dry and would give me head first year of dating after that

is it non existant. I feel that she set me up for marriage she trapped me. I’ve asked her about it

several times and she always tells me its "gross". I have always told her that I would thoroughly wash

my unit first (shower) and I would NEVER cum in her mouth. (I don’t even want to, I perfer cumming on

her ass or belly)


It has become extremely frustrating, I'm unhappy that my loving beautiful wife is so irrational and

phobic regarding this aspect of our sex life. Are there any guys out there who have successfully

overcome an oral sex phobia with their SO? Therapy is probably not an option because as far as she is

concerned there is no problem to be addressed. I dont want to be unfaithful, I have had women tell me

they will do anything my wife won't do in an attempt to get some action but I haven't even considered

it.

BTW, she is not interested recieving any oral sex and won't even let me try. She has not been sexually abused before she met me. Her objections seem to be entirely on aesthetic grounds.

TIA
 

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What exactly does she find gross about it?

How did you approach the topic? Were you pressuring her or were you sensitive about it?
 

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It wasn't gross while you were dating but after marriage it is gross. She tricked you mate. Put your foot down now and don't let it go on any longer. Hopefully some of the guys here will have some sort of action plan for you.
 

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Discussion Starter #7 (Edited)
She says taste. Precum taste. Offered flavored things won't let me. She says nothing's changed just doesn't like it. I have approached it both ways no luck.

What exactly does she find gross about it?

How did you approach the topic? Were you pressuring her or were you sensitive about it?
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It wasn't gross while you were dating but after marriage it is gross. She tricked you mate. Put your foot down now and don't let it go on any longer. Hopefully some of the guys here will have some sort of action plan for you.
:smthumbup::iagree: very logical!
 

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What is the status of the rest of your sex life in general?

How does your current sex life with your wife compare to your earlier one? Are you having sex as often? Is it as varied? Does she seem as enthusiastic now as she was then?

The oral thing may just be a symptom of a bigger problem that you aren't seeing.

Generally, when a woman is into her man, she is willing to push the boundaries. When she isn't, the boundaries get pulled in.
 

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Your wife doesn't have an oral sex phobia, she has a bait & switch plan.
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This.

She isn't phobic and it probably has little to nothing to do with the taste. She just doesn't care about your needs and she won't be bothered.

The problems in your marriage only start at the lack of oral. That's the tip of the proverbial iceberg.
 

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I am sort of in the same boat. Wife doesn't is afraid to do it anymore. A few times while we were dating, then a few times after we were married she would finish and swallow.

The next day and a half she would have a sore throat. Now she is afraid to do it because of this. However, it doesn't happen if she doesn't swallow.

She also says it the taste, wearing a flavored condom wasn't very pleasurable. It felt so odd and unnatural.
 

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Your wife doesn't have an oral sex phobia, she has a bait & switch plan.
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:smthumbup::iagree: totally agree with this.

Just to be safe, find a good divorce lawyer. Never be caught unprepared.

If you're not careful and put a stop right away....First it's "no blowjobs". Next will be "no sex". Then, it will grow into "you doing your duties as a husband but she does nothing about her duties as a wife". That's slavery.
 

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:smthumbup::iagree: totally agree with this.

Just to be safe, find a good divorce lawyer. Never be caught unprepared.

If you're not careful and put a stop right away....First it's "no blowjobs". Next will be "no sex". Then, it will grow into "you doing your duties as a husband but she does nothing about her duties as a wife". That's slavery.
Well,you have to ask can you live with your wife just saying no and not willing to bend forever?

Does she say no in other parts of your marriage?
Is this a deal breaker for you?
What would she do if you told her you want a divorce because of her selfishness?

If shes not willing to try to bend then
you have your answer.

Better to divorce her, than staying married and being unhappy,frustration and resentment worse as the years
go by.
 

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If she won't give you the things she allowed you to think she would, find someone who will. And tell her you're going to find someone who will.
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Your wife doesn't have an oral sex phobia, she has a bait & switch plan.
She probably does have somewhat of a phobia; there'd be no reason to not do it now if it wasn't a big deal - simply to stay on his good side.

Definitely there is a bait and switch here, as she was able to identify it as a phobia (which, by definition, is unreasonable) and put it aside before, but cannot be bothered now.
 

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My wife was exactly like that! Unfortunately I wouldn't recommend what fixed it in our relationship. She had an affair and I found out she basically sucked the color off the OM's crayon. That's about the only good thing to come (pun intended) out of that whole situation, if you can call it good. But the jig was up. I mean "tell me you can't do it now!".:confused: The point being: I always thought it was a lot of selfish BS and this proved it. Now all a sudden she has no issues with It. Go figure.:mad:
 
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It could be bait and switch. It could be that something happened once like she hot her gag reflex, you passed gas, there was an odor.
Does she have any OCD tendencies in other areas?
I feel for you, I'm in the same boat and we ended up in MC over it. Basically he had a bad experience once and has OCD and now he is freaked out.
I have had to come to a place of trying to deal with it out of love instead of selfishness. It's incredibly difficult because I love getting oral and he used to love giving it.
I think you need to have a conversation about this outside the bedroom and be kind and calm. Find out as much as you can about what changed.
If you have to, go to a sex therapist to figure out if this is selfishness or a true aversion.
Of its truly selfishness I'm guessing she will do it rather than pay to talk to someone about it.
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