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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A few months ago I told my wife to switch from being a full time teacher to a part time teacher. I told her it is because she focuses too much on her job and not enough on her family and in general just enjoying life. So she thought long and hard on switching and agreed to it telling me that I was right. BTW we took a large financial loss for this. Her schedule switched from 6:50AM - 2:45PM (working full time) to working 8AM till 1:45.

Fast forward three months instead of leaving work at 1:45 she stays late (almost till 2:45) all the time. One of the reasons she went to part time was so she could be at our kids school to pick them up at 2:20 so we can avoid paying for daycare. So we still have to pay for daycare. Ive told her repeatedly that work, for her her, was over at 1:45 and that she needs to pick up the kids so we can avoid paying the daycare. Seriously whats the point of her working part time if she is gonna be there full time?!

She says it because she has work to finish up. I really dont give a F#ck!
 

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Now she gets to sleep in some? Nice. I don't think anyone would turn that down.
Taking a big financial hit just to get a few zzzzz's is pretty selfish and irresponsible.

I'd tell her to just go back full time if she can't manage to pick up the kids. Which is more than fair. I went part time for the exact same reason.
 

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She says it because she has work to finish up. I really dont give a F#ck!
What teaching job allows you to go "part time?" And how is simply coming in later "part time" - is another teacher teaching her first class now?

Was her not "enjoying life" relating to your thoughts that her working full time is why she wasn't enjoying swinging with you?

I'd say there's some more serious problems going on here.
 

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When she has work left over from the day is it possible to go in early the next day to finish it?

That way she can still pick up the kids and finish the work.
 

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If she has to go in early to get the work done, I'd say that defeats the purpose for reducing her hours - at that point, I'd say it makes more sense to get paid and go back to the original schedule.

Also -when she was "full time" - what time did the kids get picked up? How old are the kids? Is there an activity or after school program they can join at school so you don't have to pay childcare? Is there a neighbor or relative they could hang out with for an hour or so?

Teaching isn't a "punch the clock" kind of job - even when you are "done" for the day - you aren't done, there are still papers to grade, assignments to create. If there's a disciplinary issue, you have to fill out the proper paperwork, make phone calls, sign the kid up for detention. Sometimes other issues come up and you need to address them, you can't always just leave and deal with it tomorrow. And in some cases, depending on what the problem is, it might actually be illegal for you to ignore it.

Speaking from experience, it isn't like working retail or an office job. Which even then, you might not be always able to leave exactly when your shift ends if your replacement doesn't show up on time.
So - it might be possible that her profession doesn't match up with the " I really dont give a F#ck!" get out on time desire. This might require a little more planning.

Further - just to throw this idea out there, in some states, teacher retirement is based on FTE (full time equivalency)- so for those few less hours a day, it might be possible she'll either decrease her pension amount or increase the length of time until she can retire.
 

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If she has to go in early to get the work done, I'd say that defeats the purpose for reducing her hours - at that point, I'd say it makes more sense to get paid and go back to the original schedule.

Also -when she was "full time" - what time did the kids get picked up? How old are the kids? Is there an activity or after school program they can join at school so you don't have to pay childcare? Is there a neighbor or relative they could hang out with for an hour or so?

Teaching isn't a "punch the clock" kind of job - even when you are "done" for the day - you aren't done, there are still papers to grade, assignments to create. If there's a disciplinary issue, you have to fill out the proper paperwork, make phone calls, sign the kid up for detention. Sometimes other issues come up and you need to address them, you can't always just leave and deal with it tomorrow. And in some cases, depending on what the problem is, it might actually be illegal for you to ignore it.

Speaking from experience, it isn't like working retail or an office job. Which even then, you might not be always able to leave exactly when your shift ends if your replacement doesn't show up on time.
So - it might be possible that her profession doesn't match up with the " I really dont give a F#ck!" get out on time desire. This might require a little more planning.

Further - just to throw this idea out there, in some states, teacher retirement is based on FTE (full time equivalency)- so for those few less hours a day, it might be possible she'll either decrease her pension amount or increase the length of time until she can retire.

This is so true! I have five teachers in my family; one of them my sister. She has more home work than most teenagers. She has the responsibility of 25-27 5yr olds from 8:00 - 3:00 (7:30 to 4:00 is her typical work day) She goes in a little early/stays late but with the administrative crap, paperwork, staff meetings, etc., all thrown at them, typically at the last minute, she still has very little time to do what she needs to prepare for class. Thus her homework.

My advice to you, if you haven't done so already is to spend a day or two in class with your wife to see what she does all day before making accusations!! Teachers/those in the education industry are not given enough credit, nor are they paid enough for what they do/put up with.
 
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Before, when she was full time, she dropped the kids off at school daycare and then went to work. The kids school starts at 7:30. So now we are no longer paying for early morning daycare. So, she does not get to sleep in.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
That's only two less hours per day. How are you taking a 'large financial loss' for that?

Clearly her job can't be done in less hours. You sound bossy and domineering. I don't blame your wife for wanting to be around you as little as possible.
large financial loss = $15,000/year paycut + $800/per month for health insurance!

Choke on that!
 

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It wasn't a good decision then was it? That much less money for only a small cut in hours. So that's on you.

And as lots of posters have said, teaching is not a clock-on-clock-off job. You have work you need to do, it needs to get done, no matter what the time is.
 

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I've seen this a lot with supposedly part-time jobs. People who go from full-time to part-time work are often expected to still put in the same amount of work. I think this is probably particularly true of the teaching profession.

She says it because she has work to finish up. I really dont give a F#ck!
Perhaps you should give a F#ck, because if your W is being forced by her employers to get work finished before leaving, it isn't necessarily a case of her willfully breaking the agreement reached with you.

Perhaps it's time for you and your W to discuss her either returning to full-time employment, or staying at home so that she can be there to fetch the kids on time?
 

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I think this is what happens when people follow the "Captain and First Officer" sh*t. So the man gets to make the decisions, but what happens if the decision is a bad one?

Have you read the OPs other posts FK? I have. Right now he has another one complaining that although his wife agreed to opening up their relationship by going to swingers events, he is unhappy with her level of participation and has now decided to shut it down again. He's doing a lot of decision making and coercing in his marriage and then complaining about it when it doesn't go well.

So I don't feel much sympathy for him, it's true. Yes, she should keep to their agreement, but it sounds like that it's hard to get the work done that she needs to get done in the shorter amount of time. A 2.45 finish time is very early as it is. That would be unheard of for a teacher working full-time in my country. Teachers work 8am to 5pm here, and it is very very rare for them to be able to go part-time.

So my advice would be to accept the later finish time and save money on morning daycare. Or, go back to full-time and use the extra money to pay a babysitter to pick up the kids from school.
 

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I was under the impression that it was still an agreement though. Even it was his idea.

But I see where you are coming from. Sometimes though I just feel like the female posters here don't hold women accountable unless the woman is just flat out cheating on her husband. It was agreement and his rant was a legitimate complaint I felt. Nobody gave him any understanding about that. Even when he posts here most of the responses are women ganging up on him.

If the roles were reversed I just can't help but feel that a woman would get more understanding and support.
I most certainly didn't gang up on the OP. IMO, I gave him some pretty sound advice.

Cutting back to part-time doesn't necessarily mean less work, and it's my guess that the OP's W is worried that she will lose her job if she doesn't get the work done. It mightn't be a simple case of her reneging on her agreement with her H...
 

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I do read your posts. And I don't see where you held the wife accountable for anything in this thread. Do you?
But that's the point, FK. Is the W willfully not sticking to the decision made between her and her H, or is she being pressurized into doing the same amount of work that she did when she worked FT, for fear of losing her job? If it is the former, then the OP is quite justifiably angry. But if it's the latter she needs a little more support from him.

Personally, I can't see any mother leaving her kids waiting around for her to collect them if she could avoid it.
 
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Good point Cosmos. I do know that sometimes people feel the need to not disappointment and then disappoint those closest to them because they assume that person will understand. He's wife could just be a pleaser though. Or I guess that term would be Nice Girl. Agreed with that because that's what he wanted. And when she is at work just does her best to please everyone there. It's dishonest if that is the case. But those type of people don't really see it that way.
 

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Good point Cosmos. I do know that sometimes people feel the need to not disappointment and then disappoint those closest to them because they assume that person will understand. He's wife could just be a pleaser though. Or I guess that term would be Nice Girl. Agreed with that because that's what he wanted. And when she is at work just does her best to please everyone there. It's dishonest if that is the case. But those type of people don't really see it that way.
She possibly agreed to going PT in good faith, but the reality has turned out differently.

I know as a single parent I used to feel physically sick when my boss brought me a mountain of work at 4pm expecting it to be done before I left the office at 5pm. Of course my first priority was not leaving my son waiting around at the school gates for me, but on the other hand I knew that there were a long line of people queuing up for the job that kept a roof over our heads... In the end, I used to excuse myself from the office for 20 minutes, go pick up my son and have him play around the office until I'd finished what needed to be done. Perhaps this is an option for the OP's W. If she fetches them and has them play in the yard of the school where she works until she's done, they could save on the aftercare fees.
 
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She possibly agreed to going PT in good faith, but the reality has turned out differently.

I know as a single parent I used to feel physically sick when my boss brought me a mountain of work at 4pm expecting it to be done before I left the office at 5pm. Of course my first priority was not leaving my son waiting around at the school gates for me, but on the other hand I knew that there were a long line of people queuing up for the job that kept a roof over our heads... In the end, I used to excuse myself from the office for 20 minutes, go pick up my son and have him play around the office until I'd finished what needed to be done. Perhaps this is an option for the OP's W. If she fetches them and has them play in the yard of the school where she works until she's done, they could save on the aftercare fees.
That sounds like a good solution.
 

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It wasn't a good decision then was it? That much less money for only a small cut in hours. So that's on you.

And as lots of posters have said, teaching is not a clock-on-clock-off job. You have work you need to do, it needs to get done, no matter what the time is.
Here's an idea. Maybe she should get paid overtime. Any and all employers will NOT complain if employees "donate" their time. Why would they? You work close to full-time hours but they only have to pay you part-time salary. Great situation for employers.
 
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