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I am sorry you are in this situation.

However, you did essentially tell your wife you will not be meeting her intimacy needs and to look elsewhere. It sounds like your wife needed emotional and physical intimacy and was not receiving any of it in the marriage.

It does sound like there’s a compatibility issue here and it would be healthier to divorce.
 

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So we talked about opening the marriage and she started talking to someone and was thinking a friend with benefits situation but she caught feelings I guess. I don't want to let her go because I love her. I didn't value her like I should have. I took for granted that she would always be there.
Counselling as a couple and individually might be of benefit.
 
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