when a loved one uses his physicality to threaten, intimidate or control, it breaks trust and does immense damage to your relationship. It does not have to be a regular occurrence. There is nothing so ugly in human nature than violence and aggression on weaker members of the family. What the hell are you teaching your kids. You are a big man? Honestly, where I originally come from, men like you would be taken outside by the males in the family and given a good kicking if they did what you o to your wife.I've never felt she has to walk on eggshells. I'm not flying into tantrums daily. There are just a few, very select, triggers that bring that out from me. It's not like it's just her, I'd be the same way regardless of who it was. I'm not singling her out for bullying.
Having said that, I can also empathize with how terrible it must be to have someone stronger than you in a rage that could potentially hurt you. In no way am I dismissing her feelings.
She does not feel safe, she fears for the kids, why the hell would she want to be anywhere near you? Anyone, esp a man who needs to do this is a POS in my view and does not deserve a family nor a marriage.