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So yeah I probably need to mention this. When I was in my high 20s I used to do steroids for lifting and body. My sex drive was also very high and used to take care of it solo a lot when I wasn’t with a girl.

The beginning of our relationship like I said I was in line with her sex but she wasn’t into it much then in her high 20s. So I sometimes again took care of it solo in the early years but that has faded. Now more so post Covid she seems to be coming into her stride.
Taking anabolic steroids for a long time can shrink your testicles.

The testicles produce most of a man's testosterone, followed by the adrenals (which are also made adverse by steroid use).

Some T is produced (or influenced by the pituary) deep in the brain.

When you stopped taking those body building steroids, your energy dropped and your testosterone levels never (naturally) recovered.

And they may never.

Now you know.

Go to an internal medicine Physician.
Tell him your symptoms and your past steroid use.
He will do the necessary blood work.

He/she will fix you up.
 

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Discussion Starter · #24 · (Edited)
fwiw Reading this post here I have never had Covid or got the shot and don’t have ED.
 

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So yeah I probably need to mention this. When I was in my high 20s I used to do steroids for lifting and body. My sex drive was also very high and used to take care of it solo a lot when I wasn’t with a girl.

The beginning of our relationship like I said I was in line with her sex but she wasn’t into it much then in her high 20s. So I sometimes again took care of it solo in the early years but that has faded. Now more so post Covid she seems to be coming into her stride.
Get your levels checked but I would encourage you to find a doctor that specializes in testosterone therapy. Most general practitioners and urologists are behind the curve on treating low testosterone.
 

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She may be partly motivated in wanting you attracted to her.
show her that you are taking steps to improve the situation
@DerDrkD, don't over look these two statements -- taking all the steps recommended is good, but be sure to let her know what you are doing (and even involve her), and be sure to reassure her that she is indeed the sexiest woman alive to you..
 

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Some natural ways to boost testosterone:
HIT (high-intensity interval training) especially for legs, or anything that gets blood flow to the nether regions.
Avoid plastics, and plastic products, soy etc they trash testosterone levels.
Testosterone precursors.

Even with men a lot can be in the mind. Seems your focus is currently on work.
Maybe work less? If you’re so tired every day are you even spending quality time together?

Screen time will also effect sex drive. More screen time less interest one will have.
 

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My bf is 56 with type 1 diabetes and we do it 3-5 tines a week and he has no trouble. No supplements....just controls the diabetes and is in good shape.

I'm 48 and would be extremely unhappy with 2x a month.

I second getting your T checked. Also, what kind of physical shape are you in? Sorry if you addressed that and I missed it.
 

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Sorry, but it needs asking... Do you still go solo a lot? Using porn?

For sure get your T levels checked, and follow this advice:

@DerDrkD, don't over look these two statements -- taking all the steps recommended is good, but be sure to let her know what you are doing (and even involve her), and be sure to reassure her that she is indeed the sexiest woman alive to you..
Right now, she is not only sexually frustrated, I promise you she is also feeling quite rejected. You definitely need to fix this. You may never be able to keep up, but you can definitely (and need to) up your game. You two can probably come to a compromise, once she sees you are actively trying to address the problem.

Otherwise, she will stay frustrated, her self-esteem will be destroyed, and she will be very vulnerable to someone else who shows interest.
 

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My goodness man, you need to man up and give her all that she wants.

I just wish my wife had been this horny and wanting ME at 35 !!!

I'm 67, and if your wife and I were in love, she'd get all she could handle from me, even at my advanced age !!!

Get yourself into her as much as you can, and don't let up !!! One day you might end up an old man in a wheelchair and wished you had taken advantage of your 35 year old horny wife !!!

Just DO IT, and stop complaining. There are men out there, like me, that didn't get, and WANTED what you now have !!!

I can't believe there are men out there complaining about TOO MUCH SEX !!!
 

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Thanks. Yeah I guess men are different because I’ve asked about this on the job. One guy I know is 45 and his horny constantly, a few older guys I would say near 50s are just not interested in it and a younger guy says he doesn’t really think of it.
You’re starving your wife. Twice a month is a sexless relationship. Get to a dr fast. You basically have no libedo.

man’s hug your wife for being loyal to you and communicating her needs and desire for you
 

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I agree with the others OP, you should see a doctor. I am early 50s and want sex everyday. My wife does not so I end up taking care of myself alot but everything still works and the desire is there.

And not trying to scare you or threaten you but if your wife wants it a lot and you don't, its going to become a problem at some point down the road like it is for some of us here already.

Address is NOW!

Good luck!
 

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I don’t agree with the man up stuff….. you’re not wanting. You’re feeling overwhelmed. You know she’s wanting and it turns you off.
But I agree with the others, either you have low T or you’re just asexual. Figure it out.
I truly feel sorry for your wife. Not saying that to hurt you, just saying if I were in a relationship and only had sex 2 times a month, I’d be very hurt and upset and feel my lady didn’t love or desire me, and that’s likely how she feels.
 

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Geez man, I'll be 54 next week and I'd be at it everyday if the wife was up for it. You need to get checked out now!
Yeah, but.

Butt?

You have all that cold Canadian Weather to deal with.

It is either snuggle up or freeze both sets of buns off.
 

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Absolutely get testosterone levels checked. I am 39 and self inject once a week. I noticed roughly two years ago that my sex drive was highly diminished along with some weight gain and fatigue. My levels were about 177. My urologist jokingly said that is low for a guy who is 100 and he wouldn't want my levels lol. It took roughly a month, but the sex drive returned to the level of a 21 year old. She now can't keep up with me and I have to give her a day or two to get feeling back 😁. But I went from a few times a month to usually every day now and sometimes twice a day. I have also been dropping weight and noticing muscle growth. But at 35, you are in your sexual prime and should be humping like rabbits 😂

But there are lots of things you can do together to spice up the sex life. Try finding porn that you both enjoy as this really gets the mood going. I know you said sex toys are involved which is great. But the ultimate toy for getting her off if money isn't an issue is the Motorbunny which is about 1k. But there are other things like flavored lubes, blindfolds, silk rope, lingerie, a flogger. Also try gently rubbing ice on the skin and lightly blowing which will awaken every nerve in the area
 

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Discussion Starter · #39 ·
Sorry, but it needs asking... Do you still go solo a lot? Using porn?

For sure get your T levels checked, and follow this advice:



Right now, she is not only sexually frustrated, I promise you she is also feeling quite rejected. You definitely need to fix this. You may never be able to keep up, but you can definitely (and need to) up your game. You two can probably come to a compromise, once she sees you are actively trying to address the problem.

Otherwise, she will stay frustrated, her self-esteem will be destroyed, and she will be very vulnerable to someone else who shows interest.
So maybe once or twice a month I go solo.
I can assure you she’s not feeling frustrated and definitely not rejected as we are together a lot, watch TV/movies, watch sports, shopping and get along very well.

But yeah we definitely need to work on something and me addressing my lack of sex drive.
 

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So maybe once or twice a month I go solo.
I can assure you she’s not feeling frustrated and definitely not rejected as we are together a lot, watch TV/movies, watch sports, shopping and get along very well.

But yeah we definitely need to work on something and me addressing my lack of sex drive.
I wouldn't be so sure. All of that is great, but she could definitely be feeling sexually rejected or frustrated. She probably doesn't want to feel like (just) a best friend or a roommate. She likely wants to feel like your wife and feel (sexually) desired.
 
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