[DerDrkD]

Hi all,

We’ve been married for 10 years. Our sex was good the first 4–5 years and then slowed some. Covid really slowed it down more with us being around each other all the time. As of the last year it seems like she’s hitting her stride at her age of 35 and I’m not. I’m interested in sex but not as much as her and to be honest she insatiable and I can’t keep up. She has her toys and I even bought some but some nights I think she would bang the UPS driver or even the vacuum.

I work a decent amount and drained when I get home. Should I watch porn with her, dump more money into toys or get a prosthesis dìck that’s always ready when she wants it?

thanks for reading, I’m at my wits end.

D

 

[ccpowerslave]

I’m interested in sex but not as much as her and to be honest she insatiable and I can’t keep up.

How much are we talking here?

 

[DerDrkD]

For me maybe two times a month. I think about it and have the thoughts but physically and even some days mentally I’m just not into it.

 

[ccpowerslave]

For me maybe two times a month. I think about it and have the thoughts but physically and even some days mentally I’m just not into it.

So two times a month you’re saying no? How often is she trying to initiate?

 

[DerDrkD]

So two times a month you’re saying no? How often is she trying to initiate?

No, two times in months I want it. She is like every other night.

 

[ccpowerslave]

No, two times in months I want it. She is like every other night.

Hmm… You’re physically healthy? Have you had your testosterone levels checked? Fatigue can definitely also influence libido.

FWIW I am nearly 50 and every other day for me would be limping along in neutral. I’d prefer once or twice a day.

 

[DerDrkD]

Hmm… You’re physically healthy? Have you had your testosterone levels checked? Fatigue can definitely also influence libido.

FWIW I am nearly 50 and every other day for me would be limping along in neutral. I’d prefer once or twice a day.

You’re 50 and can do it once or twice a day? Holy cow!

I’m in decent shape, over the past two years I gained 15 pounds but not chubby. I haven’t been to my my primary dr. for years.

 

[ccpowerslave]

I’m in decent shape, over the past two years I gained 15 pounds but not chubby. I haven’t been to my my primary dr. for years.

I hadn’t either when I was your age but you’re at the point in your life where it’s worth going in for a physical every year. I’d mention this to your doctor that you might be worried you have low libido and ask to have your testosterone checked.

 

[DerDrkD]

I hadn’t either when I was your age but you’re at the point in your life where it’s worth going in for a physical every year. I’d mention this to your doctor that you might be worried you have low libido and ask to have your testosterone checked.

Ok, thanks for the idea.

at 50 do you do testosterone replacement?

 

[ccpowerslave]

Ok, thanks for the idea.

at 50 do you do testosterone replacement?

I do not, but there are several men on the forum who are on it and one was around your age when he started.

 

[bobert]

You need to ask HER what she wants. Does she want more toys, mutual masturbation, just oral? Etc. Just because you're not up for intercourse doesn't mean you can't help her out in other ways.

Like said above you should also get a physical (and mental) health check. This will also show her that you are taking steps to improve the situation. If you used to have a higher drive, figure out what happened - whether that's something medical, something in the home, stress, etc.

 

[DerDrkD]

Thanks. Yeah I guess men are different because I’ve asked about this on the job. One guy I know is 45 and his horny constantly, a few older guys I would say near 50s are just not interested in it and a younger guy says he doesn’t really think of it.

 

[bobert]

Thanks. Yeah I guess men are different because I’ve asked about this on the job. One guy I know is 45 and his horny constantly, a few older guys I would say near 50s are just not interested in it and a younger guy says he doesn’t really think of it.

Some people are low drive, some are high drive, and we don't all even agree on the frequency needed to be high drive or low drive. It's worth getting checked out though, especially if your drive used to be higher.

 

[DerDrkD]

You need to ask HER what she wants. Does she want more toys, mutual masturbation, just oral? Etc. Just because you're not up for intercourse doesn't mean you can't help her out in other ways.

Like said above you should also get a physical (and mental) health check. This will also show her that you are taking steps to improve the situation. If you used to have a higher drive, figure out what happened - whether that's something medical, something in the home, stress, etc.

I’ll call Monday to my provider and see what they suggest.

Good point. We talk but she’s kind of vague and I have been more so dodging her before bed like she’s a cougar trying to devour me. She has her toys and that seems like more of a money pit. I don’t know so much about mutual masturbation when I’m not “up” for that most of the time. I guess stepping up orally on her could appease her but not sure how to help her out in other ways.

I appreciate your insight.

 

[SunCMars]

I see something rising tall on your horizon.
And, it will be an interloper.

A vacuum will always seek that filling.
Some new and willing man will fill that void.

You will likely lose your wife, to something seemingly small, yet looming large in your wife's mind.
This is no small matter, she is but 35 years old, and needy.

What is your age?
No more than 40, I presume?

You claim your phallus is not 'up' to the every other day job.
Get that check up.

Get that testosterone checked.
ED is a common malady, even in the young.

Don't play with your wiener too much (porn).
This conditions your mind and body to that specific act and physical response.

Many medications, alcohol, tobacco, and pot makes ED worse.
Fatigue is real, cut back on your work hours

Take a small cat nap, recover, and ravage her.
ED is a real issue with men, with our modern diets, lack of exercise, medications and the inebriants men consume.

Our arteries and small vessels plug up quickly.
This adds greatly to the problem.

 

[jonty30]

I’ll call Monday to my provider and see what they suggest.

Good point. We talk but she’s kind of vague and I have been more so dodging her before bed like she’s a cougar trying to devour me. She has her toys and that seems like more of a money pit. I don’t know so much about mutual masturbation when I’m not “up” for that most of the time. I guess stepping up orally on her could appease her but not sure how to help her out in other ways.

I appreciate your insight.

I think enthusiasm on your part, even if you're not up for piv, would do a lot. She may be partly motivated in wanting you attracted to her.

We sometimes use sex as a way to reclaim a spouse.

 

[ccpowerslave]

@SunCMars brings up a good point. If your equipment isn’t working right that is a different issue.

There are solutions to that as well ranging from medication to physical solutions (silicon rings).

 

[DerDrkD]

Some people are low drive, some are high drive, and we don't all even agree on the frequency needed to be high drive or low drive. It's worth getting checked out though, especially if your drive used to be higher.

So yeah I probably need to mention this. When I was in my high 20s I used to do steroids for lifting and body. My sex drive was also very high and used to take care of it solo a lot when I wasn’t with a girl.

The beginning of our relationship like I said I was in line with her sex but she wasn’t into it much then in her high 20s. So I sometimes again took care of it solo in the early years but that has faded. Now more so post Covid she seems to be coming into her stride.

 

[DerDrkD]

I think enthusiasm on your part, even if you're not up for piv, would do a lot. She may be partly motivated in wanting you attracted to her.

We sometimes use sex as a way to reclaim a spouse.

Sorry to ask what does PIV mean?

 

[DerDrkD]

I see something rising tall on your horizon.
And, it will be an interloper.

A vacuum will always seek that filling.
Some new and willing man will fill that void.

You will likely lose your wife, to something seemingly small, yet looming large in your wife's mind.
This is no small matter, she is but 35 years old, and needy.

What is your age?
No more than 40, I presume?

You claim your phallus is not 'up' to the every other day job.
Get that check up.

Get that testosterone checked.
ED is a common malady, even in the young.

Don't play with your wiener too much (porn).
This conditions your mind and body to that specific act and physical response.

Many medications, alcohol, tobacco, and pot makes ED worse.
Fatigue is real, cut back on your work hours

Take a small cat nap, recover, and ravage her.
ED is a real issue with men, with our modern diets, lack of exercise, medications and the inebriants men consume.

Our arteries and small vessels plug up quickly.
This adds greatly to the problem.

Wow thanks for your insight and your post.
Wait, yes I’m 39 years old. I barely drink, don’t smoke or use weed.