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Your father-in-law’s reaction is very telling - you married a girl who grew up with parents who gave her zero consequences. They palmed her off to you and probably breathed a sign of relief. Lazy parents.

And hey, the 40s are amazing! My favourite decade. Especially for men!!! She gave you a great gift for the fab 40s - it’s called FREEDOM!!! You’re quite a catch you know! Even your father in law told you you did nothing wrong. A 40-y-o man who is loyal is going to be someone’s treasure, she just hasn’t met you yet!
 

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How are you doing thia week?
What steps are you taking for yourself?
What can we hold you accountable to here?

The worst thing you can do is become paralyzed from the unknown. Keep moving. File. Look forward to the possibilities of all the women who will love you because you are not a cheater. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #103 ·
How are you doing thia week?
What steps are you taking for yourself?
What can we hold you accountable to here?

The worst thing you can do is become paralyzed from the unknown. Keep moving. File. Look forward to the possibilities of all the women who will love you because you are not a cheater. :)
I‘m into week 4 of a CrossFit class and have noticeably improved my overall health. I wasn’t overweight before, but now more tone and just feel better. It is something I’ve been reading is a good thing to do during this time (take care of yourself). I think the next step is probably getting into IC.
ive been searching for new places to live and am close to a decision. I’ve never been great at being sociable while by myself. I won’t do any dating until the D is final so maybe that’s the opportunity. Just be social in this interim period of time.

I definitely do look forward to the opportunities ahead, just need to get the house sold, finalize D and start up from there. I will continue to work on myself in various ways in the meantime.
 

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I‘m into week 4 of a CrossFit class and have noticeably improved my overall health. I wasn’t overweight before, but now more tone and just feel better. It is something I’ve been reading is a good thing to do during this time (take care of yourself). I think the next step is probably getting into IC.
ive been searching for new places to live and am close to a decision. I’ve never been great at being sociable while by myself. I won’t do any dating until the D is final so maybe that’s the opportunity. Just be social in this interim period of time.

I definitely do look forward to the opportunities ahead, just need to get the house sold, finalize D and start up from there. I will continue to work on myself in various ways in the meantime.
Great update that's very encouraging to hear :) look for a 40s something men's group? Meetup app? Get into a hobby, groups form around them. I sell motorcycles for a living. Clubs are great. My suggestion is to for something that suits you!
Dating can wait till your ready. I'd wait till you done with the divorce... but you can have female friends days alot about your character to future prospects.


Maybe look for a travel club or a cultural exchange club;)?
Exercise Is awsome! A great self security booster! Keep checking in friend.

I'd also suggest encouraging words to others here in JFO and divorce threads. It helps putting your own situation I. Perspective and gives others that can relate to you and you to them encouragement!.

Thank you for checking in!
 

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Hey OP.
I hope you l this post finds you in a better place then last week. How's the detachment going? Did you get a VAR? New friends? Find your own place? Divorce?
 

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So sorry man. Follow the advice everyone is offering. Protect yourself and do everything you can to take control and get ahead of her legally. As painful as it is, realize she is the enemy. Your wife as you knew her died.
I can second this. I am going through the exact same thing now and boy, the woman who I have known for 21 years, have lived with for 19 and have been married to for over 11 years, has gone. I do not recognise the person I'm seeing now. 'Evil' is an understatement and it look slike she is also rewriting history and making me out to be something horrible, so that she doesn't need to take responsibility for having and affair and leaving (I assume)
 

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Dont try to figure it. She can change on a dime. There was undercurrent issues there that she was not mature enough to put the effort into to fixing. They probably built over the years and it was easier for her to paint her reality as something else and run from herself. If that's not the case then she's emotionally and mentally screwed up, even more of a reason to ditch now. Not all women are like her, just the crazy ones who are lacking morals. How you doing op?

Edit typo
 
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