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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi everyone, think I have found this place to late to save my marriage, my wife wwlked out on me yesterday, this is the2nd time albeit she didnt stay away very long last time
We have been together 8 years, married for 3 and dont have children, im 39 and she is 34
My wife has depression and has been on prozac for many years, generally day to day she is fine but has bouts of feeling low periodically but I feel like I have supported her in my own way even though she proberbly wouldnt agree
We have had problems for a long time (premarriage) in paticluer our nonexistent sex life, this is a real problem for me and its just not important to her
She left initially as I found some emails from an ex and confronted her, this was 18 months ago, we had some counselling and our relationship improved for a while
I dont think she was having an affair as he is based over 200 miles away but yiu never know really

Fast forward to the presant day, she started a new job and since then has built her own little social life around work, we do very little together and have little in common

Anyway after her last day out with 4 singke girks from work on an all day session I told her how unhappy I was and things needed to change

I had hoped we would be able to work it out and we would both start geting what we wanted from the relationship but shehas left tp stay with her sister and has told me she will be movimg out permanently closer to work In a houseshare

She has said she doesnt belive we can work it out

Im not sure how I feel, a little relieved but devestated at the same time and angry that my wife wont commit to working on our marriage

Any views would be appreciated
 

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Started hanging out with single women, RED FLAG. Best bet is to go cold on her for now. Check phone records. Separate finances and wait a while. Sorry you're here bro. Don't beg or plead it looks weak.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Started hanging out with single women, RED FLAG. Best bet is to go cold on her for now. Check phone records. Separate finances and wait a while. Sorry you're here bro. Don't beg or plead it looks weak.
Thanks tom, yeah have gone cold on her not sure I even want her back at the moment
 

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Sounds like she has made up her mind and has totally left the relationship. All you can do is focus on you and start to rebuild your life. Get yourself busy and active. Time will take care of the rest. Good thing you don't have kids to worry about.

Good luck to you and sorry you're going through this. Just remember to take care of yourself. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks all

Re an affair she could be but I dont think so, she even said she was happy plodding along before I put a stop to that recently
 

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Also, ALPHA up some. Sounds like you have been tip toeing around her problems to not cause problems. That won't work well trying to find someone new.
 

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be happy she left she sounds like a bi*ch.

no kids great move on.
 

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If saving the marriage is important to you than I suggest you wait it out for a bit. See if she realizes she made a mistake then place some non negotiable commitments on her. Like seeing a counsleo exploring her sexuality and spending time with you..not her girlfriends.
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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
If saving the marriage is important to you than I suggest you wait it out for a bit. See if she realizes she made a mistake then place some non negotiable commitments on her. Like seeing a counsleo exploring her sexuality and spending time with you..not her girlfriends.
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I dont think so, i cant trust a women who has walked out on me twice, she has no commitment to our marriage and im better off without her
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Just a quick update, mainly because it helps to post in here

Its been almost a week now, we have had very little contact aside from a few emails, she sent me an email the day after she left whichwas a listof our joint household bills!, she also said that she woukd always love and care for me but didnt think we could work it out, I felt it was a bit soon to be sending stuff like this and told her she had no need to contact me until the weekend

Fast forward to saturday and she comes over, I was out but got back as she was leaving, I hadleft her a note, household stuff and wishing her luck in the future, she was in the process of writing me a note, we had a discussion on bills, our joint mortgage and the 4k she has on my credit card.

During our discussion I tryed to keep my emotians in check but I did get angry a couple of times, she never left the note.

Its all very clinical from her side, she can ill afford to live somewhere else andpay the mortgage at our home although she has taken advice (which I belive is wrong, she wprks for a uk divorce lawyer :rofl:) that if she moves out she doesnt have topay her half of the joint mortgage, she must really hate me as she will be broke.

For me I have seen plenty of friends and family inthe last few days and altjough I have been upset at times it hssnt hit me as hard as i thought it might, its still tough snd im notsure I have fully accepted it yet but im working on improvong myself as a person and trying to look forward
 
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