[tamii]

My wife and I love each other. Unfortunately, about a month ago we had a huge, huge, huge fight, the biggest ever in our marriage. As a result, we both removed our wedding bands.

The fight, as big as it was, confirmed how much we loved each other when we finally reconciled days after (hard to explain). However, we still went without wearing our wedding bands.

Last night, we talked about finally wearing our bands again and she says that, in a moment of rage during our fight, she had thrown them out and asks if we can just get new ones?

I am a little in shock and not sure how to react.

 

[unbelievable]

WalMart sells them and at their prices, you can fight every month and still stay within budget.

 

[Chelle D]

Whose budget?? Not mine.

to tamii... Gosh that's horrid!... I know I would feel devastated & completely hurt by my spouse throwing away wedding bands.

There would have to be some major discussion about the value of the rings we have ... vs the value that he put on the emotions associated with the rings.

I don't know your wife, but, it still seems quite harsh. I would have thought the only way justifiable to throw away my husbands ring, would be if I won it in the divorce... and would only throw it away after divorce & absolutely no hope of reuniting.

Sorry.. that's just my opinion.

 

[mrstj4sho88]

Wow she should not have done that bulls.... This is what you do just buy a fake wedding set. With a fake wedding set , you're not putting or losing alot of money. She does not value the rings anymore.

 

[Coffee Amore]

That must have been some fight! I hope the rings didn't cost a lot of money. Did they?

I guess you two have to get new bands since the old ones are gone. I must admit unbelievable's post made me laugh, but he has a point. Get cheaper rings this time around.

People do things in the heat of anger that they later regret. It sounds like she was in a rage. Perhaps that's not typical for her. I don't know her. You do. If this is unlike her to throw valuable items away then let bygones be bygones and move forward. However, if she has a history of throwing other important things away in anger, you two have bigger issues to consider.

 

[exhaustedwife]

My husband and I are reconciling after being seperated and filing for divorce. I had to sell my bands for money while we were seperated (long story) and he got me a new pair at the pawn shop for around 400 bucks.

We are still married, but I am refusing to wear my rings until "I feel like we are married again." This is a daily reminder to him that we are still working on things, and that even though we love eachother, marriage is more than just a ring on the finger. I will wear my rings again when I feel like our marriage is no longer in trouble, and when we are both secure in our places in our marriage.

On that note, I do have an opinion about the rings themselves.

Diamonds are forever. And as we made promises, I don't feel like cold diamond rings signify the kind of love that marriage is about.

Marriages are weak, they constantly need work. There are bumps and turns, flaws.

When I was married pre-seperation, I noticed that over time my ring got scratches in it. That the diamond was flawed. . .

I am trying to save up, for another set. A turquoise rose ring. While it is not a diamond, a rose signifies more than just a boxy diamond. It has layers, just like a marriage. It isn't as strong as diamond. And it won't last forever unless you take care of it. Much like a marriage. . .I am adding my diamond band to the rose, to signify I will love you always, but as for the marriage, it is not at all like a diamond. It is more like a flower, that will wilt and die if not cared for properly over the years. At least my marriage. . .

 

[chillymorn]

do you really want to stay with a woman who can make such rash decissions?I'll bet that she will do other things in the heat of battle similiar. if it were me I would take it as a sign to shuffle on down the road and look for someone who is more even keeled.


theres more fish in the ocean.

 

[Holland]

Wow that was a very rash, aggressive thing to do. Taking your wedding rings off after the fight was a mistake you both made, you wear the rings to symbolise marriage and union, so you had a huge fight but that does not mean at that moment you were unmarried.

I still have my wedding and engagement rings even after divorce, no way would I consider just throwing them away, they are a great symbol to me of my past marriage. One day I will give them to my daughter as they are part of her life story.

 

[exhaustedwife]

Wow that was a very rash, aggressive thing to do. Taking your wedding rings off after the fight was a mistake you both made, you wear the rings to symbolise marriage and union, so you had a huge fight but that does not mean at that moment you were unmarried.

I still have my wedding and engagement rings even after divorce, no way would I consider just throwing them away, they are a great symbol to me of my past marriage. One day I will give them to my daughter as they are part of her life story.

I am glad someone else finds that significance. I cried when I had to sell my rings during our seperation. I kept both of our sets, and he still has his.

I agree that it was a very rash and harsh decision. I don't think she really meant it. . . the question would arise if she did it again, and kept doing it. . . .