Hi this is my first post so apologies for any badly worded or explained detail. I (aged 30) have been with my wife (aged 40) for 10 years & things between us have become a bit difficult. She got out of an abusive relationship after she had her first son (now 14) when he was about 2. I met her when her son was 3 & we really hit it off as a couple. She is a beautiful & sexy woman whom I love very dearly but her son is becoming a really cheeky & lazy individual & it is creating tension through the house. Now, over the years he has done many things wrong (like we all have & like kids do- I understand & accept this as part of life & growing up) but the thing is she just will not tolerate the idea of punishing him for his current wrong doings. She put his bedtime from 10pm to 11pm (without consulting with me). On sunday night myself & my wife were tryting to settle our son (aged 4) in bed for the night & it was getting late (11:15pm). He had a rather long nap in the afternoon & conseqently wasn't that tired. I put my head down to try & sleep but could hear my stepsons tv so I got out of bed to tell him 'it was time for turning off'. I stopped at his door to ensure he did as anything you ask him to do has to be done at snail pace to just drag it out that bit longer. He turned to snap at me 'What!?'. I said 'i'm making sure you turn it off'. 'You just want to see me do what you say, I haven't got a bed time' to which I replied 'yes you do it's 11 o'clock. no later'. He proceeded to give me attitude & cheek & I started to lose my patience. I had given him my old smart phone (5 days prior) which is a damn nice piece of kit so I demanded it back. I was so mad that he could sit there & argue back (like he's done countless times before) after I have tried to give him a treat. Then my wife came in telling me to calm down & having a go at me! I was after all enforcing her bedtime arrangement because it was time he was getting his head down for school. The same thing happened when he used my credit card (the second time!) without my consent on his playstation network. I told him after the first time if he did it again that priveledge would be gone. The second time I was angry that my 4.5k credit limit had been used without permission (only about £12) again so I took his controller to delete my details. Strike 2 you're out!!! I couldn't remember where to access them so I threatened to wipe his hard drive. He ran sobbing downstairs to his mum because nothing else in life matters as much as his gaming & told her what was going off. She came upstairs, accused me of being a bully & started having a go. I was that mad I just argued back, I couldn't believe after trusting him to have my details that he has abused, she would just side with him & not back me up with my cause. It seems she nor I for that matter just cannot say anything to him. Everyone who I have spoken to about it says that it is bang out of order & that they'd have been mad too, but my wife just expects me to forget it like it's nothing. I work a full time job with a 3 shift pattern & am doing up our 2nd house (the 1st I finished & was ready for getting on with my life like a normal father/husband when my wife dropped the bombshell and said she wanted to move). I haven't got any spare money to treat my wife like i'd want & I just feel like my efforts for our household are just nothing because i'm out of the house alot with my shifts.It's like my opinion doesn't count in my own home but i'm ok to pay all thr bills & sort the house out. Why wont she back me up in these situations???? What message is she sending him having a go at me for things that he has done wrong???? Doesn't she realise she is making any future situations worse by arguing with me instead of telling him???? She says 'i'll have a chat with' him but the same things just happen again! Her 'chats' are never very weighty & it just seems like shes done it so she can say shes done it. She has never been one to carry any threats out (you know the sort- stop doing that or you're not having your game tommorow), he has just always had chance after chance after chance since being little. I say to her that we need house rules & if they are broken there will be consequences. That doesn't go down well. It seems she will just take whatever he does & is scared to say anything to him unless i say owt about it. Then of course i get the bully name calling again. We are both sick of arguing about it but she just will not tackle these issues as a united married couple should do. sorry for the long post but I have had alot to say. Any sensible replies would be much appreciated. Thanks.