Wow...a wife who has gone into hubby's account and given us the real story.
This is hilarious. Okay, I am not sure who I believe, but the wife sounds very convincing. I don't think a wife would go to the extra measures to report what she has if she was the guilty party.
Never the less, you two need to communicate on many things in many areas and stop blaming each other for the fault. You both have made mistakes, I am sure of it...some more than others, but you have a family and two beautiful children that need your love and support. These kids are too young for you guys to be fighting and going through all the crap you guys are going through.
I have news for both of you...ITS NOT ABOUT YOU!!!
Wife, its not about you and your kids first! Its about you and your husband first! The husband came first and the kids are a byproduct of him. "But, you don't know what I have been through and how my husband has treated me," you would say. I have an understanding from what you posted. I believe what you have posted. You two need counseling.
Husband, you need to love your wife the way a husband should and not judge her, ridicule her, make her feel small, or worthless. Build your wife up. She needs you. See that you are meeting her needs. Husband, if you are meeting your wife's emotional needs and loving on her, I guarantee you that she will desire to give you sex more. That is the way it works. Forget these cat and mouse games, where you are just focused on your wife's wrongs. Own up to your mistakes and failures and YOU be the first to change!
Wife, if at all possible, give hubby another chance. Divorce is the worse route for you two to go. Think of your children! Those kids need their mother and father working together in the family unit...it is the way it ought to be. The kids need you as a family...they really do. Leaving hubby will NOT make things better...I promise you 100%. I know another single women out there struggling to make ends meat and the only relief they receive is when the kids grow up and can start supporting their mother (if they choose to be loyal to their mother and not leave her left alone).
Work it out...come together and find common ground. Love on each other, forgive each other, do what is right for yourselves and your children. You can do it...it starts by owning up to your mistakes, asking your partner for his/her forgiveness, and then making a conscious effort to do your part in the marriage. Will it be perfect? Of course not, but if you work together, communicate, forgive, and love on each other, your marriage will thrive.
I wish all the best to the both of you!