Hi everyone
I've been married to my wife for a year and a half, we have a baby of 13 months. I've been finding my feelings for her change since she has begun to shout at me in front of our baby. She will scream and swear so loudly. It distresses both me and him. When this happens I don't reply, just leave the room, and, if possible, take my son with me to a quiet part of the house with some toys. More often than not she will follow me and demand that I give her back her child.
My one and only trigger is being shouted at. Before this, it would be very, very rare that I would become angry. I have learned over the years that the best thing to do in that situation is to walk away. The problem here is that she feels I'm ignoring her, so she shouts louder and makes it worse. I haven't shouted back at her in front of our child, but I've come close.
I was madly in love with this woman. She is beautiful, intelligent and so talented. But this new behaviour is killing me. She was never like this before she became pregnant.
So I confronted her, and told her that my feelings for her were changing because I am unable to accept that she is comfortable to act this way. She retorted by telling me that she had suffered silently throughout our marriage, saying that I had starved her while breastfeeding and denied her water. I've never been so hurt in my life. It's like she only said it to hurt me, but that's not her at all. She never would have done anything like that. She really was one of the sweetest women I've ever met.
I was made redundant shortly before the birth, but I had plenty of savings, so money wasn't an issue. Since then, I've been cooking, taking care of the house, making sure everything was as it should be for the baby coming and since the birth. While my wife was breastfeeding I was constantly cooking fresh meals, bringing her tea, carrying bottles of Evian to the bed. To hear her tell me I had starved her was such a suckerpunch, I still don't know how to react or know how to feel. Put plainly, it isn't true. I don't even know if she believes it's true, but she's certainly acting like it.
A few months after the birth she changed her diet to 'Paleo'. This means no grains at all; corn, rice, wheat, oats. She now considers grains poison and also doesn't allow our child to eat it. Before this she was always eating rye bread and butter, rice and fish sauce. The only thing that makes sense is that her new diet is affecting her brain or thought process. She has lost a lot of weight, and while I may prefer her with her old figure, I would still love her no matter her size; I just think that she's lacking some minerals or vitamins that will help her think straight. I would never starve her or deny her anything. It's just too awful to contemplate that my wife believes that about me.
I really don't know what to do. She expects me to stand and be shouted at, she demands to be listened. I'm more than happy to listen and discuss issues she might have when our kid is asleep. I know she wants me to apologise for walking away from her, but I believe it's what is best for our baby.
I do still love her, but I don't know how I can stay with her if this keeps happening. I love my son and I would never leave him. I hope someone has some advice I could use.
Thanks
I've been married to my wife for a year and a half, we have a baby of 13 months. I've been finding my feelings for her change since she has begun to shout at me in front of our baby. She will scream and swear so loudly. It distresses both me and him. When this happens I don't reply, just leave the room, and, if possible, take my son with me to a quiet part of the house with some toys. More often than not she will follow me and demand that I give her back her child.
My one and only trigger is being shouted at. Before this, it would be very, very rare that I would become angry. I have learned over the years that the best thing to do in that situation is to walk away. The problem here is that she feels I'm ignoring her, so she shouts louder and makes it worse. I haven't shouted back at her in front of our child, but I've come close.
I was madly in love with this woman. She is beautiful, intelligent and so talented. But this new behaviour is killing me. She was never like this before she became pregnant.
So I confronted her, and told her that my feelings for her were changing because I am unable to accept that she is comfortable to act this way. She retorted by telling me that she had suffered silently throughout our marriage, saying that I had starved her while breastfeeding and denied her water. I've never been so hurt in my life. It's like she only said it to hurt me, but that's not her at all. She never would have done anything like that. She really was one of the sweetest women I've ever met.
I was made redundant shortly before the birth, but I had plenty of savings, so money wasn't an issue. Since then, I've been cooking, taking care of the house, making sure everything was as it should be for the baby coming and since the birth. While my wife was breastfeeding I was constantly cooking fresh meals, bringing her tea, carrying bottles of Evian to the bed. To hear her tell me I had starved her was such a suckerpunch, I still don't know how to react or know how to feel. Put plainly, it isn't true. I don't even know if she believes it's true, but she's certainly acting like it.
A few months after the birth she changed her diet to 'Paleo'. This means no grains at all; corn, rice, wheat, oats. She now considers grains poison and also doesn't allow our child to eat it. Before this she was always eating rye bread and butter, rice and fish sauce. The only thing that makes sense is that her new diet is affecting her brain or thought process. She has lost a lot of weight, and while I may prefer her with her old figure, I would still love her no matter her size; I just think that she's lacking some minerals or vitamins that will help her think straight. I would never starve her or deny her anything. It's just too awful to contemplate that my wife believes that about me.
I really don't know what to do. She expects me to stand and be shouted at, she demands to be listened. I'm more than happy to listen and discuss issues she might have when our kid is asleep. I know she wants me to apologise for walking away from her, but I believe it's what is best for our baby.
I do still love her, but I don't know how I can stay with her if this keeps happening. I love my son and I would never leave him. I hope someone has some advice I could use.
Thanks