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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm a young man and i just got married in June 2012. My wife and me did good for the first month or so then things started to go down hill. I've felt like she was putting distance between us. We fought multiple times and have not been having conversations like we use to. I've done my best to try and close the distance I've felt and tried to do more activities with her like going on walks but the distance still feels the same. I have adhd and I know that that can cause problems with relationships and all but i do my best to give her all my attention but on new years eve she told me that her love for me isn't what it use to be and that she has developed feelings for another man and this hurt me really badly. She says that she wants to be with me but she wants to still be friends with the man she has feelings for. Would it be wrong of me to have her chose? Can someone please help me make the best decision for my marriage.
 

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She is your wife David.
Why should you accept that she has feelings for another man?
You need to put a stop to this foolishness.
The problems between both of you are being exacerbated by this other man's influence over her..
Tell her she must break all contact with him or she has to leave.
This is not a good sign so soon in your marriage.
You need to act fast and decisive.
 

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Do not let her remain "friend" with this guy..either completely going dark and no contact with this guy or she leaves the marriage.

She most ly will go underground so keep an eye out.

Is this a coworker, who is this guy?
 

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Nothing says "I love you" more than wanting to be with another person.

It is not right and you should not tolerate it.
 

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And no it is not wrong of you to make her choose, enless you want to share your wife, but it sound like you do not want that.

A couple of things I've learned, never beg for your marriage or your wife, and if the wife can't choose between two men then make the choice for her and get out.

The last thing any women wants is a man that will not have the self respect enough to bail, I bet if the shoe was on the other foot your wife bail and let you have some other women.

Having been here a while I can tell you how it will all go down. 1) you will tell her you won't tolorate this crap 2) she will give you the lip service and tell you she will stop 3) she will go under ground and continue 4) you will find some text after she spends a ton of time going out with the "girls" 5) she will bail on for the new guy 6) a few months will go by and she will come crawling back and you will take her 7) years will go by and you will catcher cheating again and then you will bail...fighting over your future kids and property.
 

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The "best decision for your marriage" would be exactly what caribbean man says to do.
Be decisive.
Unless of course you are okay with being married to a woman who is in love with someone else.
She doesnt want to "be his friend", she wants to be his GIRLFRIEND, and apparently keep you around for anything he cant provide for her.
You okay with that?
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I do suggest you smile and wish her the best...having the confidence in letting her go might get her to think twice in what she is about to lose.

Did I already mention "do not let her remain friends with her new boyfriend"

You don't know how many guys start a thread here about their wife cheating, with the words " I let her remain friend with this guy friend of hers" and bythe end of the thread they regret ever letting it happen when way back when that could have taken action.
 

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I do suggest you smile and wish her the best...having the confidence in letting her go might get her to think twice in what she is about to lose.

Did I already mention "do not let her remain friends with her new boyfriend"

You don't know how many guys start a thread here about their wife cheating, with the words " I let her remain friend with this guy friend of hers" and bythe end of the thread they regret ever letting it happen when way back when that could have taken action.
:iagree: You have to take action now and end this "friendship"
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I did act decisively and made her chose me or him. She chose me but she was mad about it but I'm going to keep my eye on her also to make sure they don't keep in contact with each other.
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Taking action also mean doing the colvert work in confirming the friendship is over...if this is a co worker sitch then your screwed if she doesn't quit her job.

Besides finding out who this guy is... expose her feeling to friends and family.

If you lucky the new guy already has a girl frien or wife then you can expose these feeling to her and ask her for her support in fight this kind of thing. Often the OM (other man) will throw your wife under the bus to save his current relationship.
 

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I did act decisively and made her chose me or him. She chose me but she was mad about it but I'm going to keep my eye on her also to make sure they don't keep in contact with each other.
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Of course she was mad...and thats a good thing, you are protecting your marriage and won't let her walk all over you.

Its funny how pissed they get when you take there new boytoy away.
 

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I suggest you get a keylogger and GPS and even a VAR (voice activated recorder) to confirm her commitment in the marriage and protect you from any deciet if this goes underground.

Planting the VAR under her care seat with some velcrow tape will give you the intel you will need.

So who is this guy....a coworker?
 

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Co workers are the worst..it impossible to keep an eye on her if she works with this POS.

Have you confronted this guy?
 

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What will happen when she has a GNO (girls night out)?

I mean what is your wife doing to affar proof her marriage and puge this influence out of her marriage......This ain't over!
 

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This does not look good to me and her reaction is very disturbing. Unless I miss my mark and she will sneaking to see this fellow behind your back. If she really was concerned with losing you she would have pleading with you, not being upset with you. You need to monitor phone records, get a VAR to put in her car, as she is likely to feel safe to talk to him from there. Be vigilant that she is where she says that she is for awhile.

The real disturbing part is she only made it 6 months before she started to wander. If you can't make it 6 months a lifetime seems like an impossibility. Best of luck.
 
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