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Wife says I never ask her to go anywhere so I do and she says no LOL

1K views 6 replies 4 participants last post by  Joe Cool 
#1 ·
Wife says I never ask her to go anywhere do I do and she says no LOL

Gotta love 'em.

I stopped asking my wife to go places for a while because I got tired of her either

1. Saying no
2. Changing the time or day
3. Offering something else

I just started saying I'm going to blanket blank at such a such a time.

She's says Oh OK. Sometimes she pouted but usually she didn't.

Eventually she got upset and said "You never ask me to go anywhere any more."

I said "That's because you always say no and that gets real old real fast and I am sick of it. If you would knock that off, I would ask you more. I never csre what you ask me to do, I game because I'm with you."

She agrees.

So I have asked her ten times if she want to go somewhere and she said no ten times.

I point this out and she denies it.

:lol:

WTF?

I pointed it out again and she is being more flexible now and we have had a nice two week run of memories.

In case you are wondering where I asked her to go

Concert, Lunch, Dinner, Shopping, Errand, Walk, Hike, Game, Etc

Nothing weird.

I think it was a bad habit of laziness, inflexibility and lack of awareness that it was hurtful.

She did not know she was doing that.

I have done everything I could to be mindful of what she would enjoy when asking but she couldn't seem to accept an idea unless it was her own.

FWIW she is a planner and I am very spontaneous

Yea maybe she doesn't like me. LOL
 
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#4 ·
Okay, this might be a fun trick.

Do you have a smart phone with a voice recorder? (Most do, I believe).

Next time you ask her to go out, pull out the smart phone, put on the recorder (so she knows she's being recorded) and ask here.

Would you like to go to X with me? Yes or No?

At least this way, you'll have evidence of her denying it and maybe she'll feel compelled to stick with her decision. If she says Yes, then later says NO, pull out the recorder again.

Don't put any pressure on which decision she makes, just record the results.

Or pick a time when you both don't have any plans. Like the weekend. Pack whatever you think she'll need and hide it in the trunk. Tell her you need her to go shopping at the store with you.

Then take her, go to the store, then on said adventure. Obviously within reason, I mean don't take her on a week-long hiking trip wit only one pair of clothes....and you might want to start with something small that you'll both enjoy, like Zoo, Movies, Concert, etc

Idk if this is great advice, but I think it would be fun to try. If she seems absolutely, unbearably miserable when you try to do this..maybe not a good idea.
 
#5 ·
Lots of good ideas here.

I think I will just drag her by the hair to the truck. She likes it when I pull her hair. (Kidding)

Recording her sounds interesting. I can make an audio or video presentation of her saying no so she knows how she sounds without taking word for it.
 
#6 ·
A line from a movie: The secret to happiness is to give your loved ones something to look forward to. What you call 'planners' may actually be people who derive joy out of the anticipation. Try giving her a few days notice and see if her mood perks up. Do keep the spontaneous, though. Just mix it up.
 
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