wife refuses to change

If she refuses stop, divorce is your only option. Unless you're willing to live in and open marriage and share her with the other man. Weren't your vows to forsake all others.

she has 0 respect for you,time to have a serious talk with her,if that don't work,,divorce time.

I was young and dumb when I was first married. I still tried to talk to my "guy friends" The thing was I talked/texted a certain one a lot more than I should have been whenever I was feeling lonely are not appreciated etc. It took me a while to figure out what I was doing to my marriage. I was pushing hubby away and leaning towards the one who was giving me all the attention and making me feel special. My Hubs did start trying harder to spend time with me rather than start an argument about my "friend" but in the end it was me and only me who could change the situation. Your wife has to stop herself and realize what she is taking away from ya'lls marriage.