My wife sent me an email - that I guess was her form of an "apology". In other words, it wasn't an apology at all, merely a way to rationalize her infidelity.
Here is an excerpt: "I have had a lot of time to reflect on our situation in the last few weeks. What happened between us is very sad. I changed from the young, insecure, bewildered 23 year old into a more confident women with different needs. But somehow, those needs were not being met and I did irreparable damage by looking outside the marriage to satisfy those needs. Call it vanity, mid-life crisis, narcissism - I took the wrong path."
She goes on to say that she hopes IC will get us both to a better place emotionally. Of course she never actually apologizes for cheating and lying - she just says she is sorry - sorry for herself.
So her wrong path is the path to a better her - that is how she is looking at it. She is reading "Broken Open" and getting validation for her cheating because her cheating was a sign of her newfound confidence.
The sad thing is, when we married - she was a very confident, very together woman - young, but wise. As she aged, we DID grow apart (as most marriage do at one point) - kids, jobs, boredom.... I went through the same feelings of growing apart earlier in our marriage except I worked on rebuilding our relationship and my feelings for her. Now, my wife is deathly afraid of aging - DEATHLY afraid. She gets botox regularly, has had lipo, laser skin treatments, breast implants - and she was very good looking to begin with. Still is, but she looks a little plastic. So she is definitely NOT confident about her own self-image.
I think this talk of "growing" to become a "confident woman" is just "girl talk" - of how my wife's circle of single, unhappy, divorced women justify their betrayals. None of them are happy and they're all chasing younger guys (not too successfully either) in order to fight growing old. Chasing young guys at a club, all of whom would be happy to get into your pants ONCE is not a sign of confidence. Kind of pathetic, really.
Here is an excerpt: "I have had a lot of time to reflect on our situation in the last few weeks. What happened between us is very sad. I changed from the young, insecure, bewildered 23 year old into a more confident women with different needs. But somehow, those needs were not being met and I did irreparable damage by looking outside the marriage to satisfy those needs. Call it vanity, mid-life crisis, narcissism - I took the wrong path."
She goes on to say that she hopes IC will get us both to a better place emotionally. Of course she never actually apologizes for cheating and lying - she just says she is sorry - sorry for herself.
So her wrong path is the path to a better her - that is how she is looking at it. She is reading "Broken Open" and getting validation for her cheating because her cheating was a sign of her newfound confidence.
The sad thing is, when we married - she was a very confident, very together woman - young, but wise. As she aged, we DID grow apart (as most marriage do at one point) - kids, jobs, boredom.... I went through the same feelings of growing apart earlier in our marriage except I worked on rebuilding our relationship and my feelings for her. Now, my wife is deathly afraid of aging - DEATHLY afraid. She gets botox regularly, has had lipo, laser skin treatments, breast implants - and she was very good looking to begin with. Still is, but she looks a little plastic. So she is definitely NOT confident about her own self-image.
I think this talk of "growing" to become a "confident woman" is just "girl talk" - of how my wife's circle of single, unhappy, divorced women justify their betrayals. None of them are happy and they're all chasing younger guys (not too successfully either) in order to fight growing old. Chasing young guys at a club, all of whom would be happy to get into your pants ONCE is not a sign of confidence. Kind of pathetic, really.