UPDATE: my wife and i had an argument over the phone a couple of minutes ago. She blasted me over to the blog i have created regarding MLM and cutting her resources from withdrawing money from our savings account. but there's one part o have missed i gave her my payroll atm without me knowing it she withdrew all of my hard earned money and paid the MLM company for a new set of products. It was a very hard time for me because it was our budget for Christmas and food till the end of the month. as soon as i make some investigation why my salary havent come up, and it turns out she used it for her MLM without telling me. She's been gone for a month now. and she hasnt come back and keep changing her sched to return home because of her MLM and she explained to our kids that its for their future. Well she went berserk over my blog and how i told a lot of people not to be lured over to that MLM company or any other. and of course i retaliated and started shouting at her then it came she abused me verbally with such profanity and i retaliated as well. there's no doctor here that could help us with her addiction and i dont know how to de program her from that MLM. its a start that i limited her ability financially

 

Did you tell her she is now a thief and that she not only stole the money from you but took food from her children's mouths and their Christmas presents?

Where is she? Many of these companies now offer buy back options where if you return the product you get a portion or all of your money back. If it were me, I would be packing up some products... I would give her til the end if the week to rectify this situation and return the stolen money or she gets hit with divorce papers. And if she doesn't return home within the week and start being a wife and mother, she gets hit with divorce papers. You have got your hands full with this one. She has abandoned y'all.

 

I read and agree the Buying, Cancellation and Refund Policy
- No payment, no finalization and confirmation of shipping.
- Product availability and prices are subject to change without prior notice.
- 1stvitaplus.com does not accept RUSH purchase, strictly require at least (4) days lead time.
- Cancellations of finalized purchase, will be based on staff salary, operating expenses, and other charges.
- Cancellations may also be, an equivalent of P500.
- Bank charges should be on client account.
- Credit card processing fee (5.5%) from the total amount is not refundable.
- Refund, where applicable, will take place 30 banking days after cancellation requirements are completed.
- E-mails will be answered within 24 hours, (except weekends and holidays) between 8am to 6pm (Philippine time).

- 1stvitaplus.com are not responsible for changes which arises as a result of events outside of our control and not liable for any loss, injury, death, accident or damage sustained.

These policies don't look too favorable to recouping your money from the company. I would take possession of the products and liquidate them on Amazon. Where is your wife?

 

Thanks for the reply, She's still in Manila, she said that she needs to work her network double time and look for people to fill her group and she explained to our kids that she's doing this because she wants them to have a nice Christmas.sigh* she's been in manila for almost a month now and we had a couple of arguments because of this. and now she is asking for another extension since she needs to attend a team building of some sort with her network buddies. I told her that ill send all her belongings if she's not back by sunday and told her that ill be leaving her for good and take the kids. I dont care if it would go down to a legal battle since i know the court would grant me custody over my kids. She doesnt have any stable job except for that MLM which is NOT a job.

 

She is a member of a cult.

Without deprogramming she's in big trouble.

Is she going to prostitute herself to get money to feed the addiction?

 

My thoughts as well. OP. You need to separate yourself at least financially from her. She has lost her mind. You have to protect your children.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

I took long walks advice, I am already cutting her financially and settled her loans yesterday, I told those lending people not to permit her in engaging another loan because she doesnt have the means to pay for it and besides my family here is somewhat have a political influence over our town so it was easy for me to talk to these people to stop engaging any other transaction with my wife. It was a bad move for me to let her go and attend to that seminar thinking I would have time to think but it backfired because she overstayed in the capital for a month now. I want to drain her financially to that all of her account from that MLM would expire. I am confident that she would not be able to get anymore members here in our town because most of them doesnt have the money to purchase the products, my wife was the one who's sponsoring them to join and she's using our savings acct to finance these people. Now that ive taken our savings out of the equation i am pretty confident that she would have a hard time financing them. I think cutting her financially would be my 1st step of deprogramming her. I am not holding and budgeting our expenses so she would not be tempted to use it for that MLM. I know when she gets here on Sunday definitely it would be another argument but i have already made my decision. im going to stand firm of what i have done and not back out from it. I love her and i want her to be free from that MLM and I hope i am not too late in cutting her addiction.

 

...but i have already made my decision. im going to stand firm of what i have done and not back out from it. I love her and i want her to be free from that MLM and I hope i am not too late in cutting her addiction.

That's a great attitude Mykice. When she starts blustering and arguing (and she will) just re-read your post above. You know what is likely going to happen when she returns on Sunday, so you need firm resolve to get through it.

She will deplete every penny if allowed to get her hands on it.

Stick to your guns. :gun:

 

Have you read about the 180?

 

no I haven't long walk

 

You better be prepared for her nastiness... it's going to be ugly.

You DO have the option of not tolerating it.

I would not discuss ANYTHING unless she is calm. The second she gets loud, be quiet and tell her, nothing further until she can speak calmly and rationally.

 

update..I have decided to leave my wife...we had an argument today. She went ballistic because i took her daily collection from her client for me its a way for her to be disciplined but i was verbally abused and insulted my manhood. telling me how incompetent i am. For over a month she was in manila attending to that MLM. I for my part while she was away doing her MLM i was a single parent. doing the laundry, feeding the kids, preparing their meal before they go to school. I dont know how i did it. my work is in PST so i have to be online 12 midnight to talk to my boss who's in california while doing IT work for the office. My work stops at 9am and i have to prepare lunch for them, clean the house then sleep around 2pm for just a couple of hours wake up at around 6pm to to prepare dinner. then start working again. It hurts because she failed to realize that it was suppose to be her job as a mother to help me and her reason was she's doing this MLM to prepare our future. So i had it i packed my bags and left. she threatened me with a law suite because she wants our savings account and she should be the one who would be handling it for the kids and i dont want to give it to her. im prepared to have a legal battle over the custody of my 2 kids. I have 4 actually but the 2 doesnt belong to me. Before i took her to my wings she has 3 kids (1 of them died) because it comes with the territory once you marry a single mom you have to take the kids as well. and i have loved them as my own. and now this. it's difficult because some part of my being is missing and all of this its because of that MLM

 

So you have two biological children with her?

You should not move out of your home. That will make her hand stronger in divorce.

 

yes i have long walk

 

Mykice,

Stick to your guns!!

But I agree with Longwalk... don't leave your home -- could be viewed as "abandonment", unless the laws are different in the Philippines. You know better than us what the law defines as abandonment.

Don't cave to her MLM demands.

You're doing great -- separating finances, instructing bankers not to give her a loan, start documenting EVERYTHING -- when she left for the conference, your exact schedule of childcare during her absence, how many hours you've worked in her absence to feed and house the family, the money she has absconded from the family coffers for the MLM scheme, all the steps you've taken to ensure your family's financial and psychological well-being.

Hang in there Mykice...

We're all rooting for you.

 

Plain and simple. Stop supporting her financially! Ask some help from your family and her family to enlighten her. If all else fails, don't ever give her your hard-earned money. If the MLM stuff are piling up in your house, help her in reselling or liquidizing them, but don't ever give her cash or allow her to have access to your bank accounts. If you need to open a personal account to ensure this and to protect your kids, do it. Best of luck.

 

Thanks for the reply guys, its been a while since i went online because i have to get my stuffs out of the house. Here in the Philippines the law is different than the US. When a husband leaves because of domestic problems (monetary, differences except for bigamy ), the husband can leave freely and even forced out of the house. because here under the law women have more protection than us men. BUT the child support should be discuss or else. I am also at fault because i gave in and loose my temper that I yelled and said a lot of profanity words. to make matters worst she went to the police and have me sign a restraining order that i am not allowed to approach and talk to her and the kids. it is really frustrating and i found myself crying because i love my family and i hate myself for loosing my temper. My wife talks to me though but i could still feel the hate through every word that she texted me blaming me for our losses and miseries. I began to question myself should i have just gave in? or am i just to stupid to understand and maybe i was not so supportive when she needed me and to be honest when i was forced to move out of the house and stayed with my mother I saw a rope thinking i should just hang myself to end but i hesitated because of God and my children as well. my wife left me with nothing not a single centavo(Because here when it is a joint account the wife takes all of it unless she willingly surrender it to me) my pride and my manhood was shredded to bits. I approach my pastor a day ago asking for help because i think my wife and i couldn't settle this anymore on our own and we need help. It's almost Christmas here and i miss my children and i miss my wife. I text my wife about the counselling and i don't expect her to agree with me. My family told me that i am so stupid because i texted her and offer a counselling from our pastor, I should just leave her and just support our children. to be honest i cant do that even i tried i cant just abandoned them i love my wife and i love my children. should i go with this counselling or just let it slide and let time heal all wounds?" its hard here living alone my mom went to manila to spend Christmas with my siblings so im all alone here and missing my children. I don't usually cry but its very difficult. i am sorry for pouring my heart like this i am just so emotional right now.I haven't received any replies coming from here because of this Christmas party that our neighbor is throwing i mean how can she enjoy and not feel a single ounce of remorse of what happened between us and as for me, here i am looking miserable.

 

Op, No wonder she thought she could get away with her actions, your laws there under gird her being able to do anything she wants and still come out on top. The behavior that caused her to get the restraining order was a BAD move. That is adding destruction to destruction. You will recover, but it will take time. I am glad you stepped away from the rope. Are you in contact with an attorney? How is the judge going to view her being gone for a month, stealing money from you and being away from your kids?

 

Mykice, I am so sorry that you are going through this at the holidays.

I know that you very much miss you family and your wife, but right now, she isn't the person you married anymore. I understand that you have been willing to meet her in the middle to make peace or reconcile, but she will take anything you give to use to her advantage and to win. You need to be prepared for the worst and not give her any trust...period.

You must be feeling really low right now. Just let go of everything you can't control. If you start having anxiety attacks...repeat the "serenity prayer":

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Do what you must to take care of yourself and let the rest go. Let your wife go. It is really hard because you want everything to go back the way it used to be...but it is getting worse.

Actually you need to do everything in your power to separate yourself from your wife. Keep all you discussion BRIEF and business only. Stop trying to ask her to change her mind. You need to get out of the way and let God deal with her...because as long as you are trying to fix her, she will just blame you for everything. Leave her to deal with her own mess. You bailed her out too many times, so she doesn't know how to deal with consequences or know how to be told "no" and the MLM cult members have warped her perception to think you are being the dream killer. So stop being the dream killer. Cut her loose. Let her pursue her "dream"...and when you aren't there to help her next time, when the money is gone, when the MLM guys dump her because she doesn't have your income to tap into anymore...she may start to wake up. She has to feel the pain of her actions...that is the only way she may snap out of it.

This will get better, I know you are lonely and family is very important in the Philippines...but try to take the quiet time to get centered. You may actually start realizing that you are appreciating the solitude...that you aren't in the middle of your wife's crazy drama. When my wife kicked me out for a different kind of addiction that she chose (an affair), I had a real tough time, going from sad to angry to depressed. I felt out of control and that I was going to lose my mind. But after a couple of days of no contact with my wife and learning to center myself when I started freaking out, I actually started to be THANKFUL that she was out of my life! When our spouse is unhealthy and out of control...that just invites chaos and anxiety. Without her craziness around me, I was able to think clearly again.

No contact with wife...unless you are doing some business or otherwise. Keep convos brief. It looks like you lost a lot of legal leverage. Work with lawyer to see if there is some ground you can regain...especially under the light of wife's mismanagment of money...such as getting bank records of money she withdrew and also income (or lack thereof) that your wife earned from MLM. I am not a lawyer, so I don't know how this sort of stuff works...but do not give up. And DO NOT give anything freely to your wife...she won't care. She has gone over to the dark side right now.

This new year, start fresh. Let wife go. Be joyful for no reason. Be happy and motivated at work...leave your anxiety and depression at home. And when you are home, stay busy and stay positive. If you see your kids, stay positive...don't talk bad about their mother. Surround yourself with a lot of support and talk to your pastor whenever you can. See if there are divorce support groups and I would even consider a codependency group (as you have been in the habit of enabling your wife's addiction and you probably don't know who you are now that she's gone).

It feels bad now, but it will get better...a little bit each day...as long as you DO NOT get sucked back into your wife's drama. Keep her at distance and do not let her pick a fight with you. She is the enemy...but just be calm, peaceful, and pleasant around her...BUT DO NOT TRUST HER...unless (maybe) one day she agrees to go to counseling and is willing to do EVERYTHING you ask to put the marriage back together. If she is not willing to do any of that...even one little thing...your answer is NO!!! For now, go through the divorce proceedings while fighting for your rights and not letting her fool you.

My advice is very much what we would tell someone if their spouse was cheating. If you think about it, you wife is having an affair with this MLM...so cut her loose...and if she comes crawling back, you DECIDE if you want to or not and ONLY if she follows the steps of counseling and getting help. Be strong and do not falter.

This is going to be your best year ever.

 

Mykice...

Just checking in to see how things are going. What's the latest?

Hoping things are looking up for you and your family in the New Year...