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Hi All,

Still working out our marriage and sex issues.

Last issue was me being more selfish...initiate sex....well that has worked big time as we went from 2x/month to 2-3x week. Both of us are happy with this change.

Now the next issue I face I am baffled with so I figure get some advice on TAM (great advice so far :))

Early in our marriage my wife could orgasm in 10-15 minutes after being warmed up.

9 years later she can take upwards of 45 minutes-1hour+. While I can really be into it for the first 30 minutes or so, after that I begin to lose the enthusiasm and focus on her having a orgasm. After stimulating for 30+minutes straight I do get a bit tired (hands as well as pe$#s and even legs start to tire)...not the spring chicken I used to be where I could go for an hour or 2 without problems.

This is where the problem lies in her opinion: She sees it that it has become a chore to me and she begins to lose the mood.....then she says it is not even worth it so if she does not orgasm within the hour AND I show drive we are done...she is frustrated.

Looking for advice. I was thinking since we are getting older and have lost some of the initial spark of the relationship maybe it is time for toys to be brought into the marriage (vibrator such as the Hitachi). Speed up her getting close to orgasm ;)

Also, maybe need to focus more on technique.

Any other thoughts or info needed to help our sex life?
 

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Hitachi: Bingo.

We have one called the "fairy mini." It is very similar to the Hitachi but what we like better is that ours has a variable speed as opposed to high and low on the Hitachi.

Try watching some porn together.

Let your wife watch some porn while you're performing oral sex on her. Perform oral for as long as she wants you to and tell her to turn on the Fairy Mini whenever she is ready.

A virbrator is very overdue.

Don't even discuss this with her. Just go get it for her.
 

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Hitachi-is what you need for this job[lol]you can get her off first then go for the intercourse after, or go for awhile then bring in the Hitachi.

It should be known that the Hitachi is a both partner toy,just have her lube you up and massage the fun part to send you over.
 

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You talk about hands, penis, and legs... What about your mouth? I'll second the comment about getting a vibe. We use a We-Vibe Tango on a reasonably regular basis, as my GF doesn't orgasm through vaginal sex; she needs clitoral stimulation at the same time.

I would consider my GF a "tough orgasm". It takes her 20 or thirty minutes of oral sex to orgasm. But there are methods I can use to get her to orgasm in less than 30 seconds, if I want to "cheat". Learned them from this video:
Master degree of squirting !!! - Free Porn Videos - YouPorn

C
 

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Hitachi-is what you need for this job[lol]you can get her off first then go for the intercourse after, or go for awhile then bring in the Hitachi.

It should be known that the Hitachi is a both partner toy,just have her lube you up and massage the fun part to send you over.
:iagree: :iagree:

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Definitely toy time. Babes In Toyland online has a good selection; discreet, too.
 

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Gunther,

The people have spoken. Order that vibrator today.

Enjoy your much-improved and about-to-be-perfect sex life.
 

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Um...why is HER orgasm YOUR problem?

It isn't 'why don't you last longer'. It's 'why do you take so flippin long!'

She needs to address her problems herself. Has she taken it upon herself to take postgrad work on male sexual stimulation? No? So if she wants you to do more to excite her, why isn't she coming up with scenarios, positions, and techniques that she finds extra exciting instead of making you hack through the underbrush looking for the lost city of O?
 

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Um...why is HER orgasm YOUR problem?

It isn't 'why don't you last longer'. It's 'why do you take so flippin long!'

She needs to address her problems herself. Has she taken it upon herself to take postgrad work on male sexual stimulation? No? So if she wants you to do more to excite her, why isn't she coming up with scenarios, positions, and techniques that she finds extra exciting instead of making you hack through the underbrush looking for the lost city of O?
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Thanks for making me laugh! Do not laugh too much nowadays and TAM has helped me laugh more than I have in many years. Thanks!

Good point, I think there is more to it than just age that is causing this. As I understand a woman needs to be in a certain mental state to orgasm......maybe she is having trouble getting there with me? I have posted our marital problems in other areas but maybe some of this is creeping into the bedroom.

I will "dig" a little deeper here.
 

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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Thanks for making me laugh! Do not laugh too much nowadays and TAM has helped me laugh more than I have in many years. Thanks!

Good point, I think there is more to it than just age that is causing this. As I understand a woman needs to be in a certain mental state to orgasm......maybe she is having trouble getting there with me? I have posted our marital problems in other areas but maybe some of this is creeping into the bedroom.

I will "dig" a little deeper here.
Gunthar, you are worrying way too much about this subject. I agree with the above post, this is her responsibility not yours. You will rack your brain trying to figure this out and you won't, ever. Let her figure it out. Let her guide you. Let her tell you. If it happens, great, if not, why worry about it.
 

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As women get older it can become hard for them to have an orgasm. I know from experience. Last week my husband and I went to an adult store and the lady there told me about a pill for women. OMG!!!! I took the pill right then (takes about an hour to kick in). We also bought a rabbit, ben wa balls, a **** ring and deep throat spray. About 2 hours later not only did we have a GREAT night but I had multiple orgasms. ( double digits!!) My husband had the biggest smile on his face for the rest of the night and the next day.
We are going back for more pills as soon as he get home.
 

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Ok - I feel for your wife because I have this problem too.

I can only O 1-2 times a week, no matter what. If I give myself those 1-2 O's, then it is completely hopeless for me to have them during sex. Its like my body has a quota and once its met, its just not going to cooperate further. It doesn't matter what we do, what toys we use (cause I have em all...including the much hyped Hitachi), how many drinks I have had. I lose sensation down there and it feels numb - maybe comparable to a man wearing 20 condoms? Everything still feels good. I still enjoy sex, but there's no way I am going to O. The only way for me to do it is to starve myself of O for at least 3-4 days. Sometimes more depending on where I am.in my cycle.

Maybe your wife is the same way. You mentioned you recently upped your sex life significantly...maybe its unrealistic for her to expect to O that many times.

We still have sex 3-4 times a week and I usually only O during one of those nights.

Yes, a lot has to do with where my head is at. Spending time to engage my mind and get me emotionally into him, and it will translate into the bedroom. Any perceived boredom or frustration on his part and yea, I can't get there if you paid me to.

If your efforts to spice things up just fall flat, maybe she should reset her expectations?
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Work on your oral skills....

Then figure out where her G-Spot is.

If she'll let you finger her, it's right up inside on the anterior side of the vagina a couple inches in behind and underneath the clitoris. Its essentially the bottom side of her Skene's gland, the gland that produces female ejaculate. Its feels like a wrinkly walnut when she is excited and the vagina is engorged. You have to feel around for it (gently!) but there is no mistaking it.

If you can do oral stimulation of her clitoris while manually flicking and gently rubbing the G-spot, her complaining about how sex is a chore will disappate quickly. She'll be too turned on to care.
 

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Wait a minute Hitachi magic wand ya'lll actually use that Jack Hammer of a vibrator? It's used for back massages...........lol.

OP!! Get a Wild G or high dollar rabbit and call it a day. I can't imagine working 1hr to get my wife to O that would be hard for anybody.

She should be taking this into her own hands either self pleasuring while you guys are having sex or buy a vibrator for use after you finish.

My wife needs hard direct clitoral contact that a tongue while feeling great just cannot provide. For her to have a O it requires fingers to be on her clitoris or a vibrator.

1HR is just ridiculous................best of luck.
 

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Problem with vibrators is that once a woman gets acclimated to them there is no going back. She'll develope a groove in her brain that will only let her clitoris respond to that kind of intense stimulation.

No tongue, penis or finger can compete with 2,000 rpms.
 
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