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Should be able to have both, if the couple truely loves each other they will try their damnedest to satisfy and please each other to the fullest.

I have been with my beloved wife 25+ and i pamper her every chance i can. Have her coffee for her when i wake her up in AM with back rubs. She usually had dinner fixed and pulls off my boots when i get home and brings me a glass of tea.

We both take HRT. I try to give her the world every day and she rocks my world almost every night. Our marriage is better than it has ever been and keeps getting better.
 

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A previous poster mentioned less time between sex (or connecting activity) makes you see them as a sibling. I totally relate. My wife recently went back to work and we’re basically co-parents/roommates M-Saturday morning and co-parents with benefits for 25 minutes a month if she worked out that day and a myriad of other conditions are met.

I’m on HRT and love it. Wife (48 peri menopausal) tried and didn’t like chin hair and was paranoid about an enlarged clitoris. So she quit. It was great while it lasted. She was confident, would even dress up, had powerful orgasms but chin hair was more important.

24 hours after getting the pellets, she said all she could think about was sex and when was I coming home. I said “that’s how I feel everyday.” Her response was “I don’t know how you do it.” It was nice she experienced what I feel but she admits doesn’t think about it anymore.
 

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A previous poster mentioned less time between sex (or connecting activity) makes you see them as a sibling. I totally relate. My wife recently went back to work and we’re basically co-parents/roommates M-Saturday morning and co-parents with benefits for 25 minutes a month if she worked out that day and a myriad of other conditions are met.

I’m on HRT and love it. Wife (48 peri menopausal) tried and didn’t like chin hair and was paranoid about an enlarged clitoris. So she quit. It was great while it lasted. She was confident, would even dress up, had powerful orgasms but chin hair was more important.

24 hours after getting the pellets, she said all she could think about was sex and when was I coming home. I said “that’s how I feel everyday.” Her response was “I don’t know how you do it.” It was nice she experienced what I feel but she admits doesn’t think about it anymore.
Did she take testosterone??

Because I'm thinking estrogen and progesterone do not contribute to chin hair.

Chin hair might come back in later years when her own estrogen and progesterone drop more and testosterone is her leading hormone.
 

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Testosterone pellets and the progesterone pills

She quit the progesterone as well. Phenomenal sleep but she said her breasts felt like she was pregnant all the time.

She tries a little of my extra gel but thought it was messy.


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Testosterone pellets and the progesterone pills

She quit the progesterone as well. Phenomenal sleep but she said her breasts felt like she was pregnant all the time.

She tries a little of my extra gel but thought it was messy.


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Okay, so you know she doesn't really care about your needs at all. Seriously, a chin hair is a major issue to prevent her from taking care of you and connecting better?

I'm not making a good vs. bad call on this, just stating the facts. What's your next move?
 

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Okay, so you know she doesn't really care about your needs at all. Seriously, a chin hair is a major issue to prevent her from taking care of you and connecting better?

I'm not making a good vs. bad call on this, just stating the facts. What's your next move?
I agree it’s not about the chin hair. It’s an intimacy problem for her and always has been (ie sex feels more like FWB sex- never discuss and once you get off, you get out). She also hates doctors and has a phobia of side effects. She still languishes with peri-menopause, chronic migraines, Menorrhagia, low T, brain fog etc. Her migraine meds make her periods worse so she stops the meds only to have the headaches come back worse. Rinse and repeat. To me it’s clear, stay on the meds, get HRT and ablation for the bleeding. Done. But she doesn’t see it that way as she’s focused on side effects and what ifs.

After years of “nothing is ever good enough for you” I just opted to hoist her up on her own petard. Her biggest thing is the an ever increasing standard of living, particularly a bigger house/family compound. And after years of her doing nothing aside from complaining about our house and me putting a lot of blood,swear and tears into this and other houses, I just started to remind her “nothing is ever good enough for her.” She may say porn isn’t realistic (which it isn’t) but neither is HGTV.

If she wants to play the “not good enough for you” game and I can do the same. I can play the “have realistic expectations” game as well. My point here is, in a relationship, you can take pride in your partner wanting for nothing or take pride that you’ve successfully gamed the max benefit for the minimum effort.


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I agree it’s not about the chin hair. It’s an intimacy problem for her and always has been (ie sex feels more like FWB sex- never discuss and once you get off, you get out). She also hates doctors and has a phobia of side effects. She still languishes with peri-menopause, chronic migraines, Menorrhagia, low T, brain fog etc. Her migraine meds make her periods worse so she stops the meds only to have the headaches come back worse. Rinse and repeat. To me it’s clear, stay on the meds, get HRT and ablation for the bleeding. Done. But she doesn’t see it that way as she’s focused on side effects and what ifs.

After years of “nothing is ever good enough for you” I just opted to hoist her up on her own petard. Her biggest thing is the an ever increasing standard of living, particularly a bigger house/family compound. And after years of her doing nothing aside from complaining about our house and me putting a lot of blood,swear and tears into this and other houses, I just started to remind her “nothing is ever good enough for her.” She may say porn isn’t realistic (which it isn’t) but neither is HGTV.

If she wants to play the “not good enough for you” game and I can do the same. I can play the “have realistic expectations” game as well. My point here is, in a relationship, you can take pride in your partner wanting for nothing or take pride that you’ve successfully gamed the max benefit for the minimum effort.


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Why do you put up with all this crap?
 

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Her biggest thing is the an ever increasing standard of living, particularly a bigger house/family compound. And after years of her doing nothing aside from complaining about our house and me putting a lot of blood,swear and tears into this and other houses, I just started to remind her “nothing is ever good enough for her.” She may say porn isn’t realistic (which it isn’t) but neither is HGTV.
Are we somehow married to the same woman??? Are we somehow unknowingly in a polyandrous marriage? LOL

I actually call HGTV "house porn" because that is exactly what it is.
 

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If she wants to play the “not good enough for you” game I can do the same. I can play the “have realistic expectations” game as well. My point here is, in a relationship, you can take pride in your partner wanting for nothing or take pride that you’ve successfully gamed the max benefit for the minimum effort.
Agreed. I'll add that the improved sex life you want takes relatively few resources compared to the household improvements she wants.

You need to keep driving home the point she does not get to prioritize her wants and needs over yours.
 

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We’ve currently had sex twice in last 8 weeks, the twice been within a 6 day period over a month ago.

Got fed up on getting rejected so I’ve withdrew now. We’re on holiday and usually we have sex everyday during this time as my wife needs to relax to get interested. Ha.

anyway she made a comment about me not initiating because in her words she never will. By the pool today we’ve had a few drinks not lots so I told her I’m going the room follow me up in ten mins as we’re with friends. She just laughed. Needless to say I waited 30 mins she didn’t arrive. So I got my laptop out and paid deposit on gym I’ve been looking joining for a while. It’s not cheap but gets in you in top shape in 12 weeks. I’m talking Zac Effron in bay watch

goes back down by the pool she’s asleep on sunbed.

I told her the other night what I was going to do. This road leads to divorce in the next few months and I’m looking forward to it.
 

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We’ve currently had sex twice in last 8 weeks, the twice been within a 6 day period over a month ago.

Got fed up on getting rejected so I’ve withdrew now. We’re on holiday and usually we have sex everyday during this time as my wife needs to relax to get interested. Ha.

anyway she made a comment about me not initiating because in her words she never will. By the pool today we’ve had a few drinks not lots so I told her I’m going the room follow me up in ten mins as we’re with friends. She just laughed. Needless to say I waited 30 mins she didn’t arrive. So I got my laptop out and paid deposit on gym I’ve been looking joining for a while. It’s not cheap but gets in you in top shape in 12 weeks. I’m talking Zac Effron in bay watch

goes back down by the pool she’s asleep on sunbed.

I told her the other night what I was going to do. This road leads to divorce in the next few months and I’m looking forward to it.
I think my wife must have seen what I had written here last night because literally 10 mins after posting she actually initiated and we ended up having sex.

We had a discussion afterwards were I suggested what another forum member posted that helped his marriage. Basically during the next 30 or 60 days he initiates and his wife doesn’t reject him. My wife said ok we’ll start tomorrow. Which is now today.

Day one. I’ve just initiated, and got rejected as as usual. She feels sick apparently we can start in a few days when we’re home from holiday. I just replied don’t worry I’ll find someone else to do it with. Don’t threaten me she said.

it wasn’t a threat. It was a promise I replied.
 

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she was the same before so she’s not falling back on that excuse.
Fair enough... are you sure everything else is fine in your relationship? I remember you mentioning having financial problems at some point. I don't know... from your posts it seems your wife doesn't respect you much and is staying in the marriage because of the kids? Not sure what she is getting out of this marriage.
 

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Fair enough... are you sure everything else is fine in your relationship? I remember you mentioning having financial problems at some point. I don't know... from your posts it seems your wife doesn't respect you much and is staying in the marriage because of the kids? Not sure what she is getting out of this marriage.
Things are ok now and I’m back earning a decent salary. We’re on holiday now which I actually paid for.

It’s all just excuses. She must think I was born yesterday.
It’s always on her terms. Everything. And I’m done with it.

You’re 100 percent right nothing will ever change.
 

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Things are ok now and I’m back earning a decent salary. We’re on holiday now which I actually paid for.

It’s all just excuses. She must think I was born yesterday.
It’s always on her terms. Everything. And I’m done with it.

You’re 100 percent right nothing will ever change.
If you think everything else is fine in the relationship, you are not satisfied with your sex life and regular and rewarding sex is important to you, then it's time to pull the plug.
 

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A previous poster mentioned less time between sex (or connecting activity) makes you see them as a sibling. I totally relate. My wife recently went back to work and we’re basically co-parents/roommates M-Saturday morning and co-parents with benefits for 25 minutes a month if she worked out that day and a myriad of other conditions are met.

I’m on HRT and love it. Wife (48 peri menopausal) tried and didn’t like chin hair and was paranoid about an enlarged clitoris. So she quit. It was great while it lasted. She was confident, would even dress up, had powerful orgasms but chin hair was more important.

24 hours after getting the pellets, she said all she could think about was sex and when was I coming home. I said “that’s how I feel everyday.” Her response was “I don’t know how you do it.” It was nice she experienced what I feel but she admits doesn’t think about it anymore.
You were not as important to her as her worries about chin hairs.
 
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