OP, what was your wife's childhood like? What kind of relationship does her mother and father have? What does her relationship with them look like? With her siblings?I'm in my early 30s, married 8 years with 2 kids in an arranged marriage. Wife was always uncomfortable with virtually all forms of intimacy, including even hugs etc, she wasn't at all keen on it if it involve more than holding hands. She would be OK with it sometimes as a favour to me and a sense of obligation, but nothing more.
What is her physical response to different forms of intimacy? What is her emotional response?
This bring us up to about 6 months ago. Since then once again she only kept her half of the bargain for a few months, although to be fair she did make a lot of progress on the intimacy front in that time and we were together 3x a week most weeks. About 2 months ago she got "burnt out" of the intimacy, which I got pretty fed up about after a couple weeks. After a few weeks like that she got back in the mood, but we'd only slept together once when I discover she's been talking about me to her Dad and to a psychologist who lives round the corner. I basically lost it a bit because I felt like I made it clear intimacy is something I need, you agreed to it, you got burnt out, I got fed up and then yes after about 2 weeks I started being cold to her and not my usual loving self. So why is it fair to complain about me being cold to your Dad, I'm sure leaving out anything from my point of view. And if our marriage counsellor isn't right for you, do you really need to choose the psychologist who I'm always bumping into, the worlds full of psychologists! Or to discuss it without me able to say anything. At the same time she had a minor surgical procedure at the top of her leg and needed me to change a dressing for her, she hadn't been dieting or exercising so I got quite freaked out at the sight. It was really off-putting (using restrained language) but I didn't say anything to her because I felt it would be un-gentlemanly (if that concept still exists).
What is the relevance of the bolded above?
Any thoughts? and thanks for reading!
What is your wife's primary emotion? Does she get excited often/easily?