Talk About Marriage banner
1 - 9 of 9 Posts

9,269 Posts
Your wife is not only a liar, she thinks you are the most gullible fool in the world. Sadly, she may be right.
So my advice is to go nuclear on your cheating wife. And saying, “honey, could you please stop dating the guy at work?” Is not classified as going nuclear. It’s acting like a weak puppy.

why don’t you pay a visit to the office and go look for the guy? See how whimpy and insecure he is? Or are you actually the insecure one who allows your wife to date other men?
Just asking.

9,269 Posts
The southern gentleman response to a guy coworker texting one’s wife after hours, asking her to go out with him and be his “wingman” and making it clear she’s the only woman worthy of wingman status:

yeah. It’s not a pleasant conversation and a courteous request made not to ask the wife on dates.
It’s a command made in a harsh tone while wiping red stuff off knuckles. But few southern gentlemen exist these days. They are being zoned out and replaced with skinny-jeans and man-buns.

9,269 Posts
No. She hasn't been out with him to be his wing woman. And promised it's not happening.

She also told me she would stop the heart emojis, but also assured me that's just how she writes.

Plus, it seems that i've managed to bring my wife in doubt of his intention. Before she insisted that he has no interest in her, but after out talk, she's not certain.
It also seems that the texting might have slowed down, and i've noticed she doesn't respond very quickly to him after our talk.
“Talks” rarely if ever solve these kinds of problems. It just drives things underground.
If your talk was taken seriously, she would have broken all contact.
Example: She’s gonna stop the heart emojis. Lol. The emoji may not be there, but the emotion still is.

people love attention. They love the feeling of being put on a pedestal. They love getting attention that others don’t get and feeling “special”. And they’ve already gotten all that from their spouse. The spouse can never compete with that crap because they know you’re hooked and they can have your attention anytime. Your wife clearly can’t let go of it, and will be lured back in by this guy.

Be prepared to be labeled as insecure and controlling. Then she will start dressing up for work better, working out, having lost time. Later, when you get the ILYBINILWY speech, you’ll know you can move on.

originally posted by “F-102” here on TAM. It’s pure genius and applies to most emotional affairs and how affairs start in general:

Thanks for referencing my thread. I originally wrote it in response to one poster whose W had reconnected to an ex-BF on Facebook, and it outlined how it can go from "Hey, how's it going?" to "I hate my H's guts and I'm leaving him for you!"

Here's the unabridged version:

Right now, the texts/conversations may very well be just two old friends catching up but soon, if left unchecked, may very well morph into:

Their lives since they parted
Their relationships since they parted
Their families
Their spouses
How you're an excellent father
How you're a great husband
How you're a wonderful guy
Your job
How your job keeps you busy
How your job keeps you away
How she sometimes feels a little lonely when you're away
How she sometimes feels a little overburdened at home
How she sometimes feels a little taken for granted
How she feels that you don't ALWAYS listen to her
How she feels that you don't ALWAYS understand her
How she feels that sometimes you're just "not there" for her
How, okay... you're not ALWAYS such a wonderful guy
How she loved hearing from him again
How she looks forward to his texts/calls/e-mails now
How she feels young again
How she feels appreciated again
How she feels attractive again
How it's so nice to have someone who just LISTENS to her again
How it's been so, so long since you made her feel that way
How her eyes have now been opened
How she now realizes what she truly wants and needs
How she now realizes that you could NEVER give her that
How insensitive you can be some times
How you can be a real jerk sometimes
How she wonders if they would have stayed together
How she now realizes that she never really loved you
How she now realizes that she really loved him all along
How she ever could have fallen for a jerk like you
How you're the biggest a++hole she's ever known
How you're standing in the way of her true happiness
How you ruined her life
How she made a big mistake marrying you
How she made an even bigger mistake letting him go
How now she sees that they were really meant to be together
How she desperately has to get away from you
How she's definitely going to leave you
How she's talking to divorce lawyers
How they're going to live happily ever after...

...get the picture?

9,269 Posts
I’m so shocked he’s ready to go to plan b (which was always his plan A— to have a date with your wife)…..
Surely even your wife sees now what a loser this guy is to go to this kind of childish scheme to get her out. My question is: how could she not see this for what it is from the getgo.

discussing relationships, etc., with a man at work— totally inappropriate. Being hus wingman? Laughable.

And super disrespectful to you and I’m my opinion, visit worthy. But your wife sho you d have never let this get to this point.
1 - 9 of 9 Posts