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and this surprises you, how?
 

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Discussion Starter · #905 ·
As long as YOUR friends and family know the real story that she cheated, who cares what her friends think -- I presume that you are no longer friends with any of them anyway, so....
Just a friendly hello in passing if seen. i am always polite in front of the kids to her or parents. Her dad is a victim in his relationship I feb bad for him but he will never leave his wife smh. Maybe ill pass along my lawyers info just in case he changes his mind lol!

A tight no contact will be your best friend. Communicate by text or email kids only.
Unless its the meeting at the police station or like what just happened our kids strings concert i keep my distance. I always have my voice recorder on me and its always on when I'm around her. The new I picked up catches everything has a better microphone I guess.

I am concerned if she's still saying stuff to the kids, I may try investigate a bit and see.
 

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Discussion Starter · #906 ·
Ugh well we were discussing the meeting place as she brought it up. She wants to change it from the police station back to the way it was. Her drop at my house i drop at hers since the "order of protection Bull****" will be over soon. Her words not mine yet she's the one that started it! Anyway my refusal angered her naturally so she went on the attack. I did as well because I'm tired of these but i focused on her stop saying damaging things to the kids and getting some help hers were more personal in an attempt to get me angry. Didn't work. Know I shouldn't have but so tired of that bs I did wanna give her a few licks that I wouldn't have otherwise said prior to papers being signed. Nothing bad just she needs help etc.

She kept going and then ended with that she wants to talk on a parenting app, I laughed and said I had asked to do that before. She said no I didn't, I showed the proof and she said oh well it was years ago. Guess that makes a difference? then she demanded I do it or she would file another order of protection against me for harassment. So basically a do it or else type of situation.

I actually want to do it but not gonna be bullied into it. Ill let her stew and calm down for a bit then perhaps do it.

Lets take some bets, how long do you think it will take for her to bring me to family court once the divorce is been officially finalized?

My lawyer thinks pretty quickly, I agree but she also said it would be stupid a it would be the same judge that did the orders of protection and the divorce taking care of whatever she brings me back for.
 

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She kept going and then ended with that she wants to talk on a parenting app, I laughed and said I had asked to do that before. She said no I didn't, I showed the proof and she said oh well it was years ago. Guess that makes a difference? then she demanded I do it or she would file another order of protection against me for harassment. So basically a do it or else type of situation.

I actually want to do it but not gonna be bullied into it. Ill let her stew and calm down for a bit then perhaps do it.
I did not read 46 pages of posts but came to read the update because I was intrigued that you were still posting in your thread 3 years later.

I hope you have the above "in writing". Screen shot her trying to blackmail you by threatening the order of protection & save that little nugget. Electronic & hard copy. Give a copy to your lawyer. If she ever does file another order of protection against you for any reason, you now have evidence that she's engaging in something called malicious abuse of process which tends to incense judges.
 

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Ugh well we were discussing the meeting place as she brought it up. She wants to change it from the police station back to the way it was. Her drop at my house i drop at hers since the "order of protection Bull****" will be over soon. Her words not mine yet she's the one that started it! Anyway my refusal angered her naturally so she went on the attack. I did as well because I'm tired of these but i focused on her stop saying damaging things to the kids and getting some help hers were more personal in an attempt to get me angry. Didn't work. Know I shouldn't have but so tired of that bs I did wanna give her a few licks that I wouldn't have otherwise said prior to papers being signed. Nothing bad just she needs help etc.

She kept going and then ended with that she wants to talk on a parenting app, I laughed and said I had asked to do that before. She said no I didn't, I showed the proof and she said oh well it was years ago. Guess that makes a difference? then she demanded I do it or she would file another order of protection against me for harassment. So basically a do it or else type of situation.

I actually want to do it but not gonna be bullied into it. Ill let her stew and calm down for a bit then perhaps do it.

Lets take some bets, how long do you think it will take for her to bring me to family court once the divorce is been officially finalized?

My lawyer thinks pretty quickly, I agree but she also said it would be stupid a it would be the same judge that did the orders of protection and the divorce taking care of whatever she brings me back for.
This is why no contact is important. It limits issues. Always have a voice recorder on you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #909 ·
I did not read 46 pages of posts but came to read the update because I was intrigued that you were still posting in your thread 3 years later.

I hope you have the above "in writing". Screen shot her trying to blackmail you by threatening the order of protection & save that little nugget. Electronic & hard copy. Give a copy to your lawyer. If she ever does file another order of protection against you for any reason, you now have evidence that she's engaging in something called malicious abuse of process which tends to incense judges.
Welcome! lol thanks for that, I knew there was a term or word for it. Everything was in text I rarely speak to her for more then a few seconds in person if I can help it.


This is why no contact is important. It limits issues. Always have a voice recorder on you.
Oh I know, it was another needed conversation which spawned into something else. Something she likes to do. I did engage thats on me but I'm tired of it. I always have my recorder on me and on when I'm around her. Save all the recordings on a hard drive even if useless and nothing was said, just in case she wants to say I did or said something.

This was all in text which was good I think if it ever does happen.
 

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Ugh well we were discussing the meeting place as she brought it up. She wants to change it from the police station back to the way it was. Her drop at my house i drop at hers since the "order of protection Bull****" will be over soon. Her words not mine yet she's the one that started it! Anyway my refusal angered her naturally so she went on the attack. I did as well because I'm tired of these but i focused on her stop saying damaging things to the kids and getting some help hers were more personal in an attempt to get me angry. Didn't work. Know I shouldn't have but so tired of that bs I did wanna give her a few licks that I wouldn't have otherwise said prior to papers being signed. Nothing bad just she needs help etc.

She kept going and then ended with that she wants to talk on a parenting app, I laughed and said I had asked to do that before. She said no I didn't, I showed the proof and she said oh well it was years ago. Guess that makes a difference? then she demanded I do it or she would file another order of protection against me for harassment. So basically a do it or else type of situation.

I actually want to do it but not gonna be bullied into it. Ill let her stew and calm down for a bit then perhaps do it.

Lets take some bets, how long do you think it will take for her to bring me to family court once the divorce is been officially finalized?

My lawyer thinks pretty quickly, I agree but she also said it would be stupid a it would be the same judge that did the orders of protection and the divorce taking care of whatever she brings me back for.
If you are tired of the fighting stop dancing to her tune. Stop reacting to all her nonsense. Love and hate are rich sources of fuel. So is conflict. Your ex wife loves to fight with you. Every fight she picks is for this reason. You no longer share a home and are no longer readily available to her. Fighting is her only avenue to engage with you, to prove to herself she can still influence your life.

Start practicing indifference if you want to drive her crazy instead of yourself. If you choose to disagree with her do so calmly. If she continues to be non cooperative then say nothing and walk away completely. Let her play whatever stupid games she will play in silence. Starve her of the attention, control and fuel she still wants from you.

The less direct and personal interaction you can manage with her the better. Communicate by parenting app, email and txt. No voice calls unless there is an emergency with the kids.
 

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Discussion Starter · #912 ·
@iaschneider5, how are things going?

Sorry for the late reply. Its been a long few months. Still dealing with the damage to my home, June 7th I was rear ended pretty bad in my Prius by an older range rover and I've been in constant pain since then. Trying to get through it all but the hits just keep on coming!

Divorce was officially signed on Aug 26th by the judge just waiting for it to hit my mailbox. My ex got her papers because it was shared with me that she's on facebook saying things like "finally divorced from my abusive husband" etc etc.

She did end up moving the kids from the loft in her apartment to her bedroom which is very small and got them a triple bunkbed, lots of complaints from the kids on that but not much can be done. There reasons she gave them are they are only here 3 days a week so they don't need the larger room and her and her BF need more room when he moves in because he's supposed to move in again... My daughter came home last week and said mommy was mad because he didn't move in yet.. I def laughed inside at that.

Her and her cousin have cut ties as the cousin is tired of her **** so she shared some dirty details. Turns out the new baby daddy or "BF" is married and lives with his wife... Yeah he's not gonna be moving in with her anytime soon smh.

Some highlights are she has been doing things to the kids that has me teetering on the edge of filing another order of protection against her.

Hitting back of neck still, She put hot sauce and dish soap in their mouths for cursing (has since stopped when I brought it up) kicking them, threw matchbox cars again, pushing them, Apparently stood on my oldest kids stomach while he was on the floor after being pushed down by her she claims she was standing over him not on him. Last week my oldest came back and had a soar spot on the back of his head and said it was from his mom hitting him. I texted her she said she didn't do it, prior to that he asked me to talk to her and I had him do it on the phone I got for the kids and she denied denied denied saying things like " I dont do that despite what all of you claims" then at the end she said "well If I did I apologize" Covering her self there for sure. The list goes on some small things.

She also let all 3 of them 6,9 and 10 ride their scooters around he apartment complex ALONE while she was in her apartment thats 3 flights up. In general I don't consider that safe nowadays considering the crazy people that are out there but add in how fast people drive through that complex (very fast) and how many times my oldest has gotten hurt while left unattended by her I got pretty upset by that. I let her know her know too, she said they weren't supposed to go far blah blah blah. My oldest sent me a pic from basically where the complex starts which is coming down from a very busy highway where people fly down and her apartment is on the other side of that with a giant and in between and another building.

3 weeks ago my oldest asked me to call CPS on his mom. We had a talk about how serious that is and what kinda of things it can lead to. We agreed we would hold off for a bit see how things go. Since that time it's been the hitting back of head and the sore head. Guess we shall see how it goes.

The 2 boys are absolutely horrible to her and act horrible while there, hitting her, cursing, my oldest peed on the bathroom floor because he was mad at her, peed on his sisters barbies and a barbie plane etc. Every week its something else. Last week the day they got there it was cursing and my oldest whacked his mom with a baseball in his hand many times. The list goes on. Her behavior needs to stop but so does theres.

Given the balancing act between Home owners insurance claim and trying to get my house fixed, My car being totaled and battling the guys insurance company over the amount they wanna pay me plus extreme pain that makes it hard to even sleep due to it shooting into my arms and fingers all from my neck ive held off making any serious moves. Wanted to wait until the divorce was done also didn't wanna screw it up or make it take longer. I'm still in a good position either way if going back to court.
 

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Sorry for the late reply. Its been a long few months. Still dealing with the damage to my home, June 7th I was rear ended pretty bad in my Prius by an older range rover and I've been in constant pain since then. Trying to get through it all but the hits just keep on coming!

Divorce was officially signed on Aug 26th by the judge just waiting for it to hit my mailbox. My ex got her papers because it was shared with me that she's on facebook saying things like "finally divorced from my abusive husband" etc etc.

She did end up moving the kids from the loft in her apartment to her bedroom which is very small and got them a triple bunkbed, lots of complaints from the kids on that but not much can be done. There reasons she gave them are they are only here 3 days a week so they don't need the larger room and her and her BF need more room when he moves in because he's supposed to move in again... My daughter came home last week and said mommy was mad because he didn't move in yet.. I def laughed inside at that.

Her and her cousin have cut ties as the cousin is tired of her **** so she shared some dirty details. Turns out the new baby daddy or "BF" is married and lives with his wife... Yeah he's not gonna be moving in with her anytime soon smh.

Some highlights are she has been doing things to the kids that has me teetering on the edge of filing another order of protection against her.

Hitting back of neck still, She put hot sauce and dish soap in their mouths for cursing (has since stopped when I brought it up) kicking them, threw matchbox cars again, pushing them, Apparently stood on my oldest kids stomach while he was on the floor after being pushed down by her she claims she was standing over him not on him. Last week my oldest came back and had a soar spot on the back of his head and said it was from his mom hitting him. I texted her she said she didn't do it, prior to that he asked me to talk to her and I had him do it on the phone I got for the kids and she denied denied denied saying things like " I dont do that despite what all of you claims" then at the end she said "well If I did I apologize" Covering her self there for sure. The list goes on some small things.

She also let all 3 of them 6,9 and 10 ride their scooters around he apartment complex ALONE while she was in her apartment thats 3 flights up. In general I don't consider that safe nowadays considering the crazy people that are out there but add in how fast people drive through that complex (very fast) and how many times my oldest has gotten hurt while left unattended by her I got pretty upset by that. I let her know her know too, she said they weren't supposed to go far blah blah blah. My oldest sent me a pic from basically where the complex starts which is coming down from a very busy highway where people fly down and her apartment is on the other side of that with a giant and in between and another building.

3 weeks ago my oldest asked me to call CPS on his mom. We had a talk about how serious that is and what kinda of things it can lead to. We agreed we would hold off for a bit see how things go. Since that time it's been the hitting back of head and the sore head. Guess we shall see how it goes.

The 2 boys are absolutely horrible to her and act horrible while there, hitting her, cursing, my oldest peed on the bathroom floor because he was mad at her, peed on his sisters barbies and a barbie plane etc. Every week its something else. Last week the day they got there it was cursing and my oldest whacked his mom with a baseball in his hand many times. The list goes on. Her behavior needs to stop but so does theres.

Given the balancing act between Home owners insurance claim and trying to get my house fixed, My car being totaled and battling the guys insurance company over the amount they wanna pay me plus extreme pain that makes it hard to even sleep due to it shooting into my arms and fingers all from my neck ive held off making any serious moves. Wanted to wait until the divorce was done also didn't wanna screw it up or make it take longer. I'm still in a good position either way if going back to court.
Let your kids know that they may be able to determine where they live when they become 12 years old.
 

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Discussion Starter · #914 ·
Let your kids know that they may be able to determine where they live when they become 12 years old.
It's something that will be brought up in time. Still woukd be worried about the youngest. In NY its 13 and from what I understand they can say it but in the end judge still has final say. I feel going after her for all 3 if the time calls for it is the best best. As I said before I'm teetering on the edge of doing it, just dealing with alot at the moment so not jumping too soon. She did calm down for a bit. I'm hoping with them speaking up and me telling her more of what is being said she gets it and stops it. They also need to stop their crap

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Discussion Starter · #916 ·
Do your kids have cell phones? Can they get video/audio recordings of what your XW is pulling?
There is one phone. Nothing special old iPhone 6 I get for free. Of course she has an issue with it and all of sudden it doesn't have good device at her apartment she takes it away alot, they do have an issue listening to her in regards to everything but they are supposed to do what they are told when it comes to the phone and they don't always. But according to them she takes it for no reason at all and hides it.

She claims they are addicted to electronics(which arnt we all?) And just wanna be on it. Mostly everything is blocked or has a time limit, and I personally have no issues if they ask me to record videos of whatever they are doing. I think it would be cool to look back on it later on. Meanwhile she is always on her phone, Facebook, video chats with the bf etc.

Verizon offered me a deal for 4 lines at 25 each which would be just about the same as I'm paying now for 2 with tmobile so I'm considering doing it and giving my boys a phone each and I know Verizon service works at her apartment because she has it. The free phone is under t mobile service I believe. I told them of they start being more respectful to her, and more responsible in general maybe they would get their own for Christmas.

My oldest told his mom what I said and she said she doesn't like that idea. Gee I wonder why?!

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