Talk About Marriage banner
881 - 900 of 916 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
494 Posts
Discussion Starter · #881 ·
So got the response from her lawyer,
She agrees to the custody schedule... Thats actually a surprise but i think I figured out why she said yes

She does not want to change the schools but her lawyer says maybe they can fight about it later. Which means in family court. Something about issues with bullying etc which this school district is better able to handle. Not sure where the proof is there.

She knocked $1500 off the amount owed to me saying that's the amount we agreed upon but its not.

She asked for first right of refusal vs me sending to before and after school care if I need to. This would create the same back and forth we had when she was working and they would come here, I'm not a fan of that but at the end of the day not the worst thing as long as the schedule stays the same but I have to think on it.

Her plan is to bring this to email court because she knows the family court in our county is very slow and she has the thought that they are always for the mother getting that they want. I'm sure the plan is to get to family court it will drag out so the school thing doesn't get settled and then try some shady things to switch the schedule around.

The car she wants language that to gets refinanced when able but not now as she has no income ensuring all payments are on time etc. BUT then goes on to say my ex claims the payments have never been late.. 20 min after my lawyer sent me this the second collections notice came through from the bank and they have taken money from me on a few occasions that I had to fight to get back. I would really like to know what fantasy world she's living in.. must be great.

Instead of me taking 2 kids every year on taxes wants me to alternate 2 and 1 with her so some years 1 for me 3 for her my lawyer says 2 for me 2 for her more fair but I wouldn't hold a divorce up over it but I will for the other things.

Something about a savings account not being martial and even my lawyer is confused by what he means.

Waiting for a call from my lawyer now should be any minute.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,365 Posts
Ugh -- sounds like one step forward, three steps back with her all the time. At least the custody (FOR NOW) seems to be ironed out and that should help your kids.
I agree that since she already HAS two other kids (IIRC -- I remember the baby but wasn't sure if she was pregnant again?), you should get your two and she has her two for tax purposes.....
Anyway, at least things seem to be moving along for you!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
494 Posts
Discussion Starter · #883 ·
Ugh -- sounds like one step forward, three steps back with her all the time. At least the custody (FOR NOW) seems to be ironed out and that should help your kids.
I agree that since she already HAS two other kids (IIRC -- I remember the baby but wasn't sure if she was pregnant again?), you should get your two and she has her two for tax purposes.....
Anyway, at least things seem to be moving along for you!!!
It def seems to be moving along. Yeah it should be that way since currently 4 kids even though one isn't mine but I'm not gonna hold this up over that. My lawyer added in that if one can't claim any the other parents has the right to claim them.

On the whole maybe she's pregnant again front I still have my suspicions but no proof. Could just my paranoia and suspicious mind.

Just learned that yesterday the bank cleared out my account of $485 to pay towards the car loan... Ya know the car loan my ex claims is never late SMDH!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
494 Posts
Discussion Starter · #884 ·
Ok so she accepted the school change. She stated the kids are unhappy about it. I spoke to them today she only spoke to our daughter about it and she said shes only upset because mommy has to drive farther now to drop her off SMH She never mentioned it to the boys.
schedule, and apparently she's willing to hand over the money she owes me which is confusing since according to her no income because its a decent amount.

Things to be agreed upon the car situation, my lawyer says give her 90 days to refinance or I can take it back.
I have to give her the ring back which I currently don't know where that is but I'm sure ill find it. Her lawyer is gonna hold some of the money until I return it.

Button up the healthcare issue.

I have a suspicion shes got her disability or maybe she won the lottery or some crap who knows but she has a second bank account and the money hand over is too easy.. Its all too easy. Still claims no income but willing to empty her bank account to me hmmm.
Even my lawyer said shes sure that my exes lawyer told it to her straight and said she has no other choice but still.. too easy. She also said she doesn't trust her nor do i.

I have a bad feeling but things are moving in the right direction and things are going my way. It all appears to be going my way. I fear what's next.. after its done I dont think it will be done.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,552 Posts
So got the response from her lawyer,
She agrees to the custody schedule... Thats actually a surprise but i think I figured out why she said yes

She does not want to change the schools but her lawyer says maybe they can fight about it later. Which means in family court. Something about issues with bullying etc which this school district is better able to handle. Not sure where the proof is there.

She knocked $1500 off the amount owed to me saying that's the amount we agreed upon but its not.

She asked for first right of refusal vs me sending to before and after school care if I need to. This would create the same back and forth we had when she was working and they would come here, I'm not a fan of that but at the end of the day not the worst thing as long as the schedule stays the same but I have to think on it.

Her plan is to bring this to email court because she knows the family court in our county is very slow and she has the thought that they are always for the mother getting that they want. I'm sure the plan is to get to family court it will drag out so the school thing doesn't get settled and then try some shady things to switch the schedule around.

The car she wants language that to gets refinanced when able but not now as she has no income ensuring all payments are on time etc. BUT then goes on to say my ex claims the payments have never been late.. 20 min after my lawyer sent me this the second collections notice came through from the bank and they have taken money from me on a few occasions that I had to fight to get back. I would really like to know what fantasy world she's living in.. must be great.

Instead of me taking 2 kids every year on taxes wants me to alternate 2 and 1 with her so some years 1 for me 3 for her my lawyer says 2 for me 2 for her more fair but I wouldn't hold a divorce up over it but I will for the other things.

Something about a savings account not being martial and even my lawyer is confused by what he means.

Waiting for a call from my lawyer now should be any minute.
Do not compromise where you don’t hAve to. You’ll regret it. She’s playing you like a fiddle. Learn how to say no to her.
She owes the 1500. Use that as leverage in the other. You want this over do you can have some peace. She likes drama. Don’t let her abuse you with the drama crap. What’s your lawyer say?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
494 Posts
Discussion Starter · #886 ·
Do not compromise where you don’t hAve to. You’ll regret it. She’s playing you like a fiddle. Learn how to say no to her.
She owes the 1500. Use that as leverage in the other. You want this over do you can have some peace. She likes drama. Don’t let her abuse you with the drama crap. What’s your lawyer say?
Theres no compromising on the schedule, school and the car. Those are the things that matter. I agreed to alternate the use of children on taxes because as my lawyer said thats what the judge would do anyway. Not worth the fight I'm getting what I wanted anyway. Everything that was laid out last august that she dragged on until now.

Just need to clarify if shes giving me money now which would be awesome because its over 10k. But to my knowledge that would clear out her bank account, makes me believe shes hiding something.

Im very concerned about what she may try to do to get the schedule changed to what she wants after the papers are signed. As my lawyer stated and I agree with she doesn't trust my ex.

Car will need to be refinanced within 90 days or I have the right to take it back. My lawyer had mentioned adding if its late again I also have the right to take it. I didn't see it added so im gonna read this over and make notes after I drop the kids off at school.

I will say I enjoy bringing my kids to school and like doing it since I have the time but I sure won't mind letting them get picked up in front of the house either vs the 50-60 minutes it takes me to get them to the schools and get home.

I love how she just can't stop lying like saying the kids are unhappy with the change when its just my daughter and just because her mom has a longer drive now..I'm sure she wasn't fed that at all! Also after she told her lawyer that the car payment has never been late I sent proof it has he came back with it was automatically deducted "once or twice" which was actually 3 counting the one on the 2nd smh! and it only happens because ITS LATE!!! Happens after 10 days being late.

She also said it was put back immediately which is false it took many phone calls to the bank for me to get it back and she wouldn't do them or pay me back.. I wish I could live in a world of delusion like her! 3 days later im still waiting for the recent one to be put back.

I agree with my lawyer who thinks I'll be in family court soon.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,460 Posts
Theres no compromising on the schedule, school and the car. Those are the things that matter. I agreed to alternate the use of children on taxes because as my lawyer said thats what the judge would do anyway. Not worth the fight I'm getting what I wanted anyway. Everything that was laid out last august that she dragged on until now.

Just need to clarify if shes giving me money now which would be awesome because its over 10k. But to my knowledge that would clear out her bank account, makes me believe shes hiding something.

Im very concerned about what she may try to do to get the schedule changed to what she wants after the papers are signed. As my lawyer stated and I agree with she doesn't trust my ex.

Car will need to be refinanced within 90 days or I have the right to take it back. My lawyer had mentioned adding if its late again I also have the right to take it. I didn't see it added so im gonna read this over and make notes after I drop the kids off at school.

I will say I enjoy bringing my kids to school and like doing it since I have the time but I sure won't mind letting them get picked up in front of the house either vs the 50-60 minutes it takes me to get them to the schools and get home.

I love how she just can't stop lying like saying the kids are unhappy with the change when its just my daughter and just because her mom has a longer drive now..I'm sure she wasn't fed that at all! Also after she told her lawyer that the car payment has never been late I sent proof it has he came back with it was automatically deducted "once or twice" which was actually 3 counting the one on the 2nd smh! and it only happens because ITS LATE!!! Happens after 10 days being late.

She also said it was put back immediately which is false it took many phone calls to the bank for me to get it back and she wouldn't do them or pay me back.. I wish I could live in a world of delusion like her! 3 days later im still waiting for the recent one to be put back.

I agree with my lawyer who thinks I'll be in family court soon.
Good to hear an update. Sounds like you've made a lot of progress!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,348 Posts
That's what I was asking you about a month or so back.....I thought she was using your

CC without you knowing. Any action should be met with a police report. She's playing to win.....

Counter that...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
494 Posts
Discussion Starter · #890 ·
That's what I was asking you about a month or so back.....I thought she was using your

CC without you knowing. Any action should be met with a police report. She's playing to win.....

Counter that...
At some point I think a year ago or so I noticed some charges on it that weren't me. I was looking through the paper copies I think. If I remember correctly I had asked her about it but given it was so long ago idr where it went. All those cards are charged off now so not sure it matters. I mean the debt is still there of course. Maybe I'll try get my hands on copies of everything again just to take another look but I'm not sure it's worth the hassle. It was under 100 total if I'm remembering correctly.

Might have not even have been her I don't remember how well.i looked into it

Sent from my SM-N986U using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
494 Posts
Discussion Starter · #891 ·
I have signed my divorce agreement. She came back with some changes, My lawyer and I changed them to something else which while not perfect in terms of the car and the money owed but still in my favor. I said that's it no more changes. The important things...
The Schedule favors me
Kids are in my school district next year
She has to refinance the car as soon as possible but if it is 5 days late she then has 25 days to refinance it or on day 31 I take it back. She needs to give me $520 in my account so in the event its late and they take a payment the money is there.
She has a year to give me the money owed, larger portion up front until her ring is returned then the rest. I will be holding onto it until (once I find it) until that day comes.

The judge has stated that if the agreement is not signed and submitted to her before court is supposed to be tomorrow we will have to show up at 9am in front of her in person. My end is signed no word on my ex yet.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
494 Posts
Discussion Starter · #896 ·
Now that the divorce is done, she’s limited on the pain she can inflict, especially if you move on and get your mind elsewhere. Congrats!
Thanks! Cant believe its finally done. I wish I could enjoy it but I'm battling State Farm over damage to my home. Hopefully soon I can take a nice deep breath!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
494 Posts
Discussion Starter · #898 ·
Congrats man -- well done! Long haul, but you got the best deal for you and your kids.
Good luck with the ins company, but get ready to move on in your life!
Thank you and yes I did I'm happy with the outcome and either way puts me in a good position if I ever need to go further. My ex has ex to transfer the amount of he car payment to me like supposed to so I guess I will let that play out and see how it goes.
and thanks again, I had a 30 min convo with a supervisor today and she admitted there was a failing on their part for many things. I have it all recorded which is good.

Sad note i discovered today that someone who i considered to be probably my closest friend at this point in my life passed away. I was so wrapped up with divorce and house issues that I didn't even notice until today. She passed in her sleep the last day we spoke, I sent messages to her but never followed up because was so wrapped up trying to get things done. Its been a roller coaster of a day for my emotions that's for sure.

I appreciate everyone's comments and advice over the last however long its been since starting this, It was a good place just to vent my thoughts when needed and helpful. Next chapter is beginning lets hope i can make it a good one or at the very least not as crappy as the last. Still things to figure out but glad this will be behind me
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
494 Posts
Discussion Starter · #900 ·
One thing IA -- please stick around at least every now and again. I think your hard-won experience with this can help a ton of folks!
Ill stick around right now just focusing on my house. Mold remediation done. Trying to do what I can myself to cut costs but I gotta get my mom out of the hotel its $800 a week!

I was talking to my dad tonight and he was telling me how his fiancé showed him a couple of posts ex made recently because they are still friends on facebook. She gets mad at them and shows my dad but doesn't comment.

Something along the lines of for those who have been following her story she finally has divorced her abusive ex with lots of yesss and yays!

Another one with the kids at the waterfront and she said don't mind their clothes obviously their father dressed them.
What a sad life she leads where she needs to continue to make up stories to make herself feel better.

Not gonna lie it makes me mad but I'm not gonna hold onto it. But im no longer being nice, she's been nice until tonight and I let her have it. Still trying to make up a story to suit her needs smh
 
881 - 900 of 916 Posts
Top