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Discussion Starter · #861 ·
Little dirty trick my ex played this week for anyone interested. AFTER court when the kids came home and she informed them of the schedule change which she made sure to include the words"for the time being" she says they said they wanted to do something fun on Saturday and asked when their next Saturday is with her (which according to them they didn't say) and she then told them that she had a "fun surprise" planned but now can't do it because of the change. When they got in the car I was hoping they would be happy which they were but the first question was can we leave it for this week because mommy has a fun surprise planned for Saturday. Dirty little trick to make me the bad guy if I say no!

To me saying it after the schedule was already changed and having the kids ask me about it vs her is an attempt to manipulate the situation. My fear is what's next and what she's gonna try do.
 

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Little dirty trick my ex played this week for anyone interested. AFTER court when the kids came home and she informed them of the schedule change which she made sure to include the words"for the time being" she says they said they wanted to do something fun on Saturday and asked when their next Saturday is with her (which according to them they didn't say) and she then told them that she had a "fun surprise" planned but now can't do it because of the change. When they got in the car I was hoping they would be happy which they were but the first question was can we leave it for this week because mommy has a fun surprise planned for Saturday. Dirty little trick to make me the bad guy if I say no!

To me saying it after the schedule was already changed and having the kids ask me about it vs her is an attempt to manipulate the situation. My fear is what's next and what she's gonna try do.
Simply tell them that Mommy knew about the schedule change, so she should have taken that into account when she planned your surprise.
Then tell them that all of you can go have fun this weekend instead -- and take them to a park or ice cream or.....
 

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Discussion Starter · #863 ·
Simply tell them that Mommy knew about the schedule change, so she should have taken that into account when she planned your surprise.
Then tell them that all of you can go have fun this weekend instead -- and take them to a park or ice cream or.....
I let them leave 2 hours early after talking with them about it. She knew what she was doing and she got them excited on purpose and had them ask because she "wasn't going to ask". I made it known that it was a dirty trick she played and next time she needs to talk to me about stuff like this first etc. She ignored it of course but its there in text. Ill bring it up to my lawyer just so she has the info and can bring it up if she feels its needed to be mentioned.

Oh and the "fun surprise" was Chic Fil a. Closed on sunday so of course has to be saturday.
 

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Discussion Starter · #865 ·
CPS came and went. Her questioning here was mainly focused on me not her and she didn't ask them again about the hot wheels incident. She called me today and told me the report against my ex was determined to be unfounded. I mostly expected that slightly concerned if it will reflect bad on me but in the end it still seems the LG is on my side.

Before the worker let she said another report was made against me by my ex surprise surprise. It was a 60 second conversation and could tell she wasn't taking it seriously.

She has yet again tried a dirty trick as I see it anyway. She has told the kids about an easter egg hunt on a saturday during a time they would be with me. She said they wanna go and stated we can meet there if I "don't want to give them to her" Seems innocent enough but I asked her after the last time to talk to me first but this is a game to her. and I'm sure her mom would be there and i really don't want to be around her mother. I don't think its a good idea overall.

Gonna give this some thought because if I give in it will continue and get worse im sure and its putting her in the position she wants to be in.
 

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She has yet again tried a dirty trick as I see it anyway. She has told the kids about an easter egg hunt on a saturday during a time they would be with me. She said they wanna go and stated we can meet there if I "don't want to give them to her" Seems innocent enough but I asked her after the last time to talk to me first but this is a game to her. and I'm sure her mom would be there and i really don't want to be around her mother. I don't think its a good idea overall.
So why don't YOU take your kids to the Easter egg hunt and don't tell her or them until you have them. Tell them like Friday night that you have a surprise for them tomorrow....
Ignore her doing this stuff -- turn it around on her -- use HER idea for yourself...
 

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Discussion Starter · #867 ·
So why don't YOU take your kids to the Easter egg hunt and don't tell her or them until you have them. Tell them like Friday night that you have a surprise for them tomorrow....
Ignore her doing this stuff -- turn it around on her -- use HER idea for yourself...
I found one in my town on the 9th which I will take them too. The one she is talking about is on the 16th. She told me very early and will pester me got a response. I'm gonna think about what to say for a bit before I respond.

If I ignore her she will figure out some way to get it through to the kids that I'm the bad guy. She may have some screws loose in her head but she seems to know what she's doing to put me in the position that she wants me in. Or maybe she doesn't know she just happens to be so messed up that every move she makes inadvertently puts me in the position to look bad and give her that position of power she craves.

Apparently they already know about it. I am gonna try find out if they do or not without directly asking them. Lately there has been alot of the kids say one thing but she will say another. If I had to guess it's to try make it seem as though the kids are lying so when we are in court she can bring it up and try say they are Also lying about the hitting etc.

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You will be very disappointed if you continue to attempt to reason with her. Distance yourself from her and co parent as best you can.
Or as Robert Heinlein wrote in the book "Time Enough for Love":

"Never attempt to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig."
 

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Discussion Starter · #869 ·
Heres another one. Today my oldest shared something that happened at school. A bit of a continuation of the bullying incident that happened few months back. On of the things that came up was being honest as he was called a snitch for reporting the kid to the teacher. we went through what I always say which is be honest. He had an issue and told the teacher which is what he should do. This was a pretty serious thing that happened.

Anyway during the part about honesty we just said being honest is the right thong to do etc with whoever and he says " Mommy tells us that you are telling us what to say" She has said it a few times last he remembers is before she took them to the law guardian the last time. She took them again this week at the LGs request this was prior to that. They both expressed that it upsets them when she says these things.

A few minutes later I apologized to them on behalf of her since I know it upsets them because it does me aswell. I was completely honest and said she's just trying to make me look bad and its nothing you need to worry about just continue to be honest. My oldest then said something like " I think she just does it because she mad we say we wanna be here more and she wants us to want to be there more"

The fact he believes that is disturbing and just shows she's slowly undermining her own relationship with her kids. Makes me wonder again what else she is doing or saying to them. I'm very concerned some of this might start to stick. At minimum with the youngest who is 6. So far she has been very outspoken and loves her mother but wants more time with me which she now has.
 

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Discussion Starter · #870 ·
So just had court. Didn't last long we have another date coming up. CPS reports both unfounded. BUT Judge said that CPS has different standards and the kids lawyer pointed out that my ex took the kids to see her and they keep saying the same things and have even said that she told them to tell her that she doesn't hit them! Judge told her there's lots of help she can get and a bit more on that. Her face was pretty damn pissed!

It was mentioned by her lawyer that they are sending some stuff over to go over and see if I agree. She wants to try do a different schedule and her lawyer mentioned a 2-2-3 schedule and I just looked it up that looks horrible and confusing, especially on the kids. One kids maybe but 3 dragging every 2 days back and forth seems too much. Shes trying to make sure she has a full weekend with them.

Called my lawyer since the email she said confirming the date was wrong so just wanted to confirm and she fixed it and we spoke for a few. She brought up the school change before I did but she agrees it needs to happen.
 

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Discussion Starter · #871 ·
And another one. Last night kids came back and I noticed some type of scab on my sons leg and he said he noticed it Saturday bur ut didn't know what happened. looks like maybe he scratched something while sleeping IDK. Anyway he then after saying when he noticed it said he showed it to his mom when he got into his grandmothers car when I dropped them and said he didn't know what happened and her immediate response was " daddy did it to you".
I was not asking him about his mother just what I noticed and he bought it up. He said he doesn't understand why she says these things smh.

Just something else to share with my layer and add to the war chest against my ex. My lawyer is hopeful we can keep this out of court but I'm not.
 

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And another one. Last night kids came back and I noticed some type of scab on my sons leg and he said he noticed it Saturday bur ut didn't know what happened. looks like maybe he scratched something while sleeping IDK. Anyway he then after saying when he noticed it said he showed it to his mom when he got into his grandmothers car when I dropped them and said he didn't know what happened and her immediate response was " daddy did it to you".
I was not asking him about his mother just what I noticed and he bought it up. He said he doesn't understand why she says these things smh.

Just something else to share with my layer and add to the war chest against my ex. My lawyer is hopeful we can keep this out of court but I'm not.
It sucks that she is trying to use the kids against you and also turn them from you. Such vindictive BS -- SHE is the one who cheated!
 

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Discussion Starter · #873 ·
It sucks that she is trying to use the kids against you and also turn them from you. Such vindictive BS -- SHE is the one who cheated!
It really is. They see it. She's causing a lot of damage to them the more she does it. They will just grow up hating her at some point.

I can't help but think if I was the one doing these things and getting called out in court that they would have taken custody away from me.. maybe I'm wrong. Maybe in supreme court they would do more idk
 

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Well, just you do you. Make sure that YOU do all the right stuff with your kids, love them, play with them, help them.
Let them know they can ALWAYS come to you with anything. One of you needs to be stable for them, and it sure ain't her!
 

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Discussion Starter · #875 ·
Well, just you do you. Make sure that YOU do all the right stuff with your kids, love them, play with them, help them.
Let them know they can ALWAYS come to you with anything. One of you needs to be stable for them, and it sure ain't her!
I'm trying my best and I tell them that all the time, I think that's why yheh end uo coming to me to tell me things. I did find another therapist finally for them starts next week. They also do art and play therapy. Should be interesting.

Something interesting I came across I forgot about. 10 days after she left me September 15th 2019 her uncle who was living at her moms house at the time posted a video yo his Facebook with my kids in it. We were friends on Facebook at the time as he was living therr for a little bit prior to her leaving.

In the video taken in the grandmothers car while she was driving he talks about trump how he's the greatest etc which I don't really care about that people are entitled to like or dislike whoever they want the part that made me reach out to her at the time was things he said.

"Trump is going to get rid of all the mexicans" "Shouldn't all the Mexicans be deported?"
"He's gonna make America white again"

Now of those are your views good for you I don't care either which way but saying these things to young children who at the time were idk 6 or 7 Maybe closer to 7,8 I deemed inappropriate and wanted to make her aware. It was our first real coparenting issue I'd say. I will note my ex doesn't think that way and no one had contact with that uncle anymore. But anyway she ended up messaging him after the phone call saying
"Take the video down I don't have time for his bulls***" he ended up wanting to fight me smh.
Later on he ending up saying good luck with divorce etc etc and saying he had dirt on her he could share stuff like that.

While her mom is middle class super religious he was the opposite drug addict in and out of prison she was trying to help him.

I took a recording of it and forgot about it!

I have responded to my exes demands for the agreement, of she doesn't agree we continue with court may 11th. My lawyer says she's glad shes not her client as court would not go well for her.
Her new.free lawyer I'd alot quicker to get things done too.

Well back to my cleanup, we got about 6-7 inches of rain and house flooded slightly. I need a long vacation...

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Discussion Starter · #876 ·
Well court will be or start May 11th if the agreement sent is not accepted.

Big things she has to refinance the SUV within 30 days if she can't/won't/ or doesn't I will have the power to take it back and sell or keep whatever I wanna do with it. Kids will go the school district I live in next year. Has to agree to the current schedule which is 3 her 4 me. Few other things and it will be interesting to see how it turns out.

The kids are telling me she has started slapping them again but still denies it. At my oldest request I sent her a message about it and she denied it. Prior to that she had sent some messages about a week or so prior saying my oldest was gonna "tattle" on her that she hit him. Apparently they were throwing shoes and threatened to throw a water bottle at her. She called so the kids could say goodnight and I was on the phone. I called back and I could hear the anxiety in her voice. She was yelling at them talking about how they respect her and note me, they dont listen to her, she doesn't want the phone there and all they wanna do is text me and its only to be used for emergencies and saying goodnight. She cried at least twice during the phone call then I said goodnight to the kids. The story on how the slap happened to his back was he was on he couch pulling his sisters feet and she told him to stop and he didn't something he eventually admitted to me and she claims he got up and backed up into her hand... Yeah sure.

She has asked me to allow the 2 boys to get passports so they can go on a cruise with their grandparents for 8 days. First she said just the 4 then her and the other 2 kids too then back to just the 4. Now sure I feel about it yet I'm leaning towards no.

Next week Im gonna be battling my home owners insurance because that's become a mess, my local tax assessor with my tax grievance as the assessments around here are all over the place: example a house with 1100sqft more 1 more bedroom and bit more land with a market value less then mine.. yeah that makes sense and the most nerve wracking of all my sweet wonderful caring (throws up in mouth) almost ex wife. I'm not anxious at all.. Wish me luck!
 

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Discussion Starter · #878 ·
Or so she can take them out of the country and not return.
Yeah I thought about that but i don't think she's that crazy. And would still need to get our daughter one. I'm gonna set up alerts on my kids names for passports. It will let me know if an app is filed for them. She said she's not going actually said "she can't go anywhere"

I think a cruise would be fun for my boys but I think it's best left for when they are older

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Discussion Starter · #880 ·
You’re unwise if you allow that during a contentious divorce. That does not need to happen .
This wouldn't be happening until July and the divorce should be over by then but I'm not sure I'm feeling it either way. Her mom can barely handle them for one night at her house but she wants to take them on an 8 day cruise?! Insanity.

My first reaction was no but to be fair I'm giving it some real thought just to make sure I'm not basing my choice of emotion towards my own ex alone but also given everything else I have going on my mind is a pretty busy place.

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