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Discussion Starter · #601 ·
Is her "friend" going to NC with her? Or is it just her and the kids?

Why in the world would she want to be "friends" with a convicted felon that has done several stretches in prison? Maybe I missed it, but how did she even come to know this guy?
No but he is driving her to her DR appt in CT today. I am having a hard time keeping my shut about him but still haven't let her know I know how he is but I'm she guesses I do.

Called me today to tell me her car had twice the amount of oil it should, and it also needs to be changed. Got into it a bit and she said "everyone has a past" and people change.... She sure hasn't.

Its her and her mom now, Since her mom is going im feeling a bit better about it all but still not good.

They went to high school together so she should know all about him from those days but she claims to not know anything about any criminal things and just said the everyone has a past line.

I just don't get or understand why she would be interested in this guy, she tried flipping it back on me saying things like well I was interested in you... I've never been to prison. done drugs hell I dont even drink smh. Then she just went on about me being a cheater...

Id almost post a Pic of her so you can put a face to this story after almost 2 years but im sure thats a bad idea.

Called my lawyer she told me the ways it can go down. There is a conference next week that would be the nice way and ive called the kids lawyer waiting for a call back. She had a family emergency so is in SC and when I called she was on a court appearance on zoom.

Talk to her lawyer and tell the details and what we wanna do or file emergency something or other I forgot what she called it. She also asked me to gather any info on him I have...
 

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No but he is driving her to her DR appt in CT today. I am having a hard time keeping my shut about him but still haven't let her know I know how he is but I'm she guesses I do.

Called me today to tell me her car had twice the amount of oil it should, and it also needs to be changed. Got into it a bit and she said "everyone has a past" and people change.... She sure hasn't.

Its her and her mom now, Since her mom is going im feeling a bit better about it all but still not good.

They went to high school together so she should know all about him from those days but she claims to not know anything about any criminal things and just said the everyone has a past line.

I just don't get or understand why she would be interested in this guy, she tried flipping it back on me saying things like well I was interested in you... I've never been to prison. done drugs hell I dont even drink smh. Then she just went on about me being a cheater...

Id almost post a Pic of her so you can put a face to this story after almost 2 years but im sure thats a bad idea.

Called my lawyer she told me the ways it can go down. There is a conference next week that would be the nice way and ive called the kids lawyer waiting for a call back. She had a family emergency so is in SC and when I called she was on a court appearance on zoom.

Talk to her lawyer and tell the details and what we wanna do or file emergency something or other I forgot what she called it. She also asked me to gather any info on him I have...
Don't post a pic in the open forum, definitely a bad idea.

Since you seem to have found his full criminal background I suggest giving it to her. No long speech about how bad he is, just the straight fact and are you okay with being around someone like this?
 

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Even if SHE is ok with being around this guy, you DO NOT want your kids exposed to this -- and get that across to her.
 

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Discussion Starter · #604 ·
Lawyer was saying something about her having a weekend or every other weekend with maybe 2 days a week every few weeks. Going to talk with the kids lawyer whenever she calls and see what she says.

I sent the info I can find on him to my lawyer, A cop I once knew said when looking into peoples past look at what they were caught doing and imagine what they didn't get caught doing. Meaning its usually worse then it appears according to him.

I kept it straight as I could and it being the whole picture of I don't trust her choices as a parent or a person.

Not sure if I shared this but a week or 2 after she left me and was living at her parents he uncle was living there also. Fresh out of prison upstate. Heavy drug user but supposedly clean now. Anyway there was a video he posted online, It was him his sister ( exes mom) and my 2 boys. He was going on about how trump is there greatest president and he's gonna get rid of all the mexicans and mexicans are horrible people and he's gonna do it to the blacks also.. Id have to rewatch it now to quote it.

Politiics aside as I dont care about that this is more about the other things that were said to my 2 small children and he was egging them on to agree with him and telling them "trump is the best president right?"to which they looked confused and just said yes to whatever they were told to say yes to because they were about 6 and 7. All while grandma was in the front seat driving laughing. ya know the god fearing go to church on sunday no alcohol allowed in her house type of woman. I had totally forgot about that video.

When I brought it up to my ex I called her and it was an emotional time but wasn't mean or anything I just said its inappropriate. She texted the uncle saying she doesn't have time for my ******** take it down. He stated threatening me but it eventually calmed down. about year later he actually reached out and said good luck with it all and if i need someone to talk to he was there. I guess it was a nice gesture.
 

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Discussion Starter · #605 ·
Even if SHE is ok with being around this guy, you DO NOT want your kids exposed to this -- and get that across to her.
She said he won't be around them but she lies so why would i believe her or care what she has to say. I take everything she says as a lie.

I told my lawyer the phone calls think is still an issue to the point the kids take her phone without permission to call me and she questions them on why they want to call. I am looking into getting a cell phone even though she says they dont need one. My lawyer agrees to get one and give it to the oldest.

I did absolutely give them permission to take her phone in case of an emergency, or if they felt uncomfortable while someone else was there or scared for any reason. Not for silly things like telling me what new toy they got or whatever.
I said this after I met the new guy.
 

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Discussion Starter · #607 ·
Maybe ALSO send it to the KIDS lawyer. They may be able to do an injunction against him (and if he violates it, it puts your wife in a sling also). NOT sure if they can, but worth mentioning to them...
Everything I sent to her she is forwarding. She said she might check an email from her a little quicker vs one from me. She told me to call her though vs her reaching out as it will save some money.

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Discussion Starter · #608 ·
Now I have another concern, She's getting an injection today in her back that may or may not help with her legs giving out. If its an epidural she shouldn't drive after, i asked her she said no but didn't respond after that.

I called her mom just to say thanks for going with her and please keep an eye on her because I'm worried. She said she was too which is why she decided to go with her instead of in the other car thats already left. She said as far as she knows its not an epidural but shes not sure and said she wishes she changed the appt to another day instead of today.
 

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Discussion Starter · #609 ·
So it just occurred to me. He's on Parole until next year and he just drove her to CT. Says online 2 weeks notice for trips out of state... Do you think he had it? I don't even think the appt was made more then 2 weeks ago. That seems like an unnecessary risk to me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #611 ·
Add it to the info you send to the lawyers...
Absolutely. I'm gonna mention it when the kids lawyer calls me. I hope thats tomorrow I wanna get this moving. Get it over and one with. Im not sure how much of a fight she can put up if the kids lawyer is on my side and because of finances.
 

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So it just occurred to me. He's on Parole until next year and he just drove her to CT. Says online 2 weeks notice for trips out of state... Do you think he had it? I don't even think the appt was made more then 2 weeks ago. That seems like an unnecessary risk to me.
Have you lawyer call his parole officer
 

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Discussion Starter · #613 ·
Have you lawyer call his parole officer
I thought about it but I have no proof. No names mentioned in any texts or anything. Just wanna try get this moving and get it over with. They are on the way to NC now. Not gonna sleep well until I know they are there.

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So it just occurred to me. He's on Parole until next year and he just drove her to CT. Says online 2 weeks notice for trips out of state... Do you think he had it? I don't even think the appt was made more then 2 weeks ago. That seems like an unnecessary risk to me.
I doubt it. I have been a Parole Officer for past 22 yrs. They have to get a permit to leave the state. Texas would not give a permit to take your girlfriend to Dr appt.

I would be tempted to contact local LEO and notify them if they ever see this guy driving your car they have permission to search it. Or they can call you if they are uncomfortable at the moment and you will grant approval. See if they can hook ole boy up.

Used to tell narcotics task force guys we have warrant on a parolee and use it to your benefit. If they see the parolee enter a house they want to search, the felony warrant gives them approval to raid the house.
 

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Discussion Starter · #615 ·
I doubt it. I have been a Parole Officer for past 22 yrs. They have to get a permit to leave the state. Texas would not give a permit to take your girlfriend to Dr appt.

I would be tempted to contact local LEO and notify them if they ever see this guy driving your car they have permission to search it. Or they can call you if they are uncomfortable at the moment and you will grant approval. See if they can hook ole boy up.

Used to tell narcotics task force guys we have warrant on a parolee and use it to your benefit. If they see the parolee enter a house they want to search, the felony warrant gives them approval to raid the house.
Oh believe me I thought about it. Anything to keep him away from my kids in the long term. Right now anxiously waiting for the kids lawyer to call back.

I know this much if I happen to run into him again and my kids are there even in passing its gonna be an issue for me.

If one of your parolees got caught driving out of state what would happen? What would happen to someone with them? anything or the kid/s in the car.
 

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Oh believe me I thought about it. Anything to keep him away from my kids in the long term. Right now anxiously waiting for the kids lawyer to call back.

I know this much if I happen to run into him again and my kids are there even in passing its gonna be an issue for me.

If one of your parolees got caught driving out of state what would happen? What would happen to someone with them? anything or the kid/s in the car.
In todays time, no warrant but he would likely get an ankle bracelet/home confinement 60-90 days. Some states are harder. Stares where probation and parole are combined. Texas parole is state and probation is county.
 

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Discussion Starter · #617 ·
In todays time, no warrant but he would likely get an ankle bracelet/home confinement 60-90 days. Some states are harder. Stares where probation and parole are combined. Texas parole is state and probation is county.
Not horrible I guess. Still would look bad on her in my case.

My mom is bi polar and ended up on probation after a few car accidents. Got her with dwis each time, wasn't drunk she was manic but I wont get into that. This was all around the time my step-dad died suddenly so was a bad time all around.

They lived in an upper middle class neighborhood and the probation officer would come around at min once a week and toss the house, hassled her over small pocket knives found and a Billy club. My step-dad was a corrections officer and a max security prison and he had all kinds of things. He made her life living hell for a long time. She didn't even know those things were there and he would threaten her with jail time.

I did end up finding out about what he was doing and a phone call from me to his superior ended it then it was like once a month contact I think. I also called him to check how it went.
Being mentally ill is a crime to most unfortunately.

Anyway point being that guy was a **** I can only imagine how being on parole would get him treated. Maybe an anonymous phone call saying he left the state would do him in.

I dont fault the officer for being the way he was I can only imagine what him and you deal with day to day. I just wanted him to calm down a bit, shes been through enough.

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Discussion Starter · #618 ·
My lawyer called today few minutes before exes lawyer was suppose to call. She asked me if I wanted her to talk to him about the full custody since he was calling anyway and there is a conference next week.

He never called her smh. This guy is a mess.

Kids lawyer hasn't called me back but she's in SC, family emergency. Im gonna try calling again tomorrow.
 

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Discussion Starter · #619 ·
finally got through to the kids lawyer. When I called she had stepped out for an emergency Dr. appt. When she called back kinda caught me off guard so my anxiety level went up quick but thats just normal right now.

She was kinda poker lipped but made a few comments. I explained about the new "friend" and she asked if it was the babies father and when I said no its soon new plus his details she didn't seem too pleased.

Tomorrow is a lawyer conference so guess see how it goes. Ive joked with this before but if you see a mushroom cloud on the east coast you will know that things didn't go my exes way and she found out lol

My anxiety will be super high until my lawyer calls me. Its at 1030. Gonna be a long night, on the plus side I didn't forget to put the garbage put tonight like I did last week. I was a little distracted last week. Small win! haha
 

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Best of luck tomorrow with the lawyers. Just keep on trucking -- you KNOW you are doing the right thing by your kids. Your STBXW has made all of her own problems. Unfortunately YOU got hit in the blast. Just be there for your kids.
 
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