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Get official info on him. See your attorney on what and how you need to get it. Background checks. Aren’t that expensive I doubt.
 

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Discussion Starter · #582 ·
I'm gonna be calling her Monday.
Maybe I'm overreacting but I dont feel I am. She is making more bad choices in her life and I don't this to spill onto the kids.

We were just talking about how she is gonna file for full custody of her new baby and then file to be able to move now idk if that's bs she's saying. She says she doesn't wanna be in NY anymore.

I'm concerned over what I'm hearing about this guy. Found his Facebook but can't see much. Trying to figure out where else to look for what I'm trying to find.

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Discussion Starter · #583 ·
Found a bunch of records... criminal records, child support, Divorce done 06/28/2021. My guess is they weren't together for awhile though.

Ill just share the latest I found. in 2013 Burglary 2nd degree, Criminal mischief 2nd degree and Grand larceny not auto.
Minimum 4 years, max 5. Released 08/2017 on parole until 2022.

Newest criminal file on clerks website is Criminal contempt first degree for violating a protection order, There was no other info besides what happen but it says minimum sentence for repeat felons is 18 months but maybe thats not done yet? not sure.

She picked a winner folks and this is an issue for me.. It should be shouldn't it? lack of judgment ongoing on her part
 

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Discussion Starter · #584 ·
I have now spoken to multiple people that know him, hes abusive, does heavy drugs and 3 have told me that he raped someone. No convictions just what people have said.

Got expelled in 10th grade for breaking window and bringing knives to school. So my ex said she knows him since high school.. does she not care who he is?! Wtf man

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Discussion Starter · #586 ·
If there’s no paper on him it’s meaningless
He has convictions for felonies. Burglary, grand larceny, criminal mischief.
Court documents on criminal contempt of court.
Criminal damage many times.
I've found 10 addresses for him 7 of which are prisons.

Idk what to do here. At this point between medical issues and her choices I dont feel right letting them go over there but it will start a nasty war. If I let it go I'm concerned about what will happen while they are in her care

Should I just try relax and let it go?

I told me kids if they ever feel uncomfortable there to call me and i will get them, they said mommy still doesn't let let call me all the time and always wants to know why they wanna call. This has come up before and the kids lawyer doesn't like it nor do I. If they wanna call me I dont see the issue.

I think im gonna get them a cellphone to bring with them.

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I don’t see a judge granting her custody with the kids without supervision if what you say about OM is true. Certainly she won’t be allowed to move away. Your attorney knows of OMs doings and hasn’t said this?
 

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Discussion Starter · #589 ·
I don’t see a judge granting her custody with the kids without supervision if what you say about OM is true. Certainly she won’t be allowed to move away. Your attorney knows of OMs doings and hasn’t said this?
I assume that means old man?
This is a new guy apparently only been around a few weeks at best.

I only discovered him last Thursday and now have begun my digging.

Hes 33 first time he was in prison was when he was 18 for burglary. Repeat offender for sure then all the things I heard a out him are wonderful.

She had told me what she things her medical issues are in terms of the physical things, after reading what she thinks the diagnosis is I learned that if it is that it can cause mental issues as well. Maybe that's what's going on.

When we got into it and i wanted to know why this man was around my son she said he's just a friend not having sex etc etc which I totally believe not!

We got into it before I even know what he was all about I was just going based on appearance and whatever else she called me judgemental which is funny cause thats coke up before... she called her mom that when she said her bf was no good and looked like a scumbag... it reference to the first baby daddy.

I knew she made some mistakes along the way since leaving and new baby and all but it happens but this is making me feel like I can't trust her judgment as a mother and a person. I think there is something wrong with her and I think my only course of action is to go for full custody.

I am typing this with a clear head and not as emotional as I was yesterday.

In terms of moving its what we both want. I want it to happen, I fear if I go for full custody it could cause an issue for her getting full custody of her new baby which would make it impossible for us to leave.

I may have to take risk for the benefit of my kids. I will hate being stuck in NY but I have to do what I have to do

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No do not let it go. I’ve been saying for a long time that you need to get sole custody. She isn’t good for your kids and it’s your responsibility to keep them safe and well. Step up and get it done.


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Discussion Starter · #592 ·
OM - other man
gotcha

No do not let it go. I’ve been saying for a long time that you need to get sole custody. She isn’t good for your kids and it’s your responsibility to keep them safe and well. Step up and get it done.


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Yeah I cant now, I thought before it was just poor choices other part which it was but this just doesn't make sense. I think there is something wrong with her. I will be reaching out to my lawyer tomorrow, the kids lawyer and that social worker I was seeing just to get his advice as he doesn't make any money off me and he was pretty up front on things I'm curious what he will say.. Could use someone to talk with right now anyway.

Part of me wants to talk to her family and tell them what's going on, I know they are on her side no matter what but her mom has been very vocal about how she does not like her daughters choices. That would ignite something but maybe it needed idk
 

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Def talk with the social worker about this OMs past. I'm sure they would be VERY interested in that, and will probably talk with the kids. Your lawyer should be able to discuss any sort of way to keep him away from your kids (at least until after the divorce is completed).
 

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Again....your XW is completely self-serving. We mentioned getting full custody for awhile because your

kids have told you, they do not like it there. You said that yourself. Even if you had your attorney

bring to the courts attention about her "boytoy" and his rap sheet, she would break it off with him and just

find another loser. Loser punks would love free room n board and a POA a few times a week.

Your kids don' need to see that. Nothing like your kids being over there and whatever thug she is

laid up with.....and a group of police break down the door doing a drug bust. Well that's one sure

way of getting full custody. And it may have to come to that. Hopefully you can get FC the good way.

I wouldn't drive them to NC. What would you do while there?

Now if they'll cover your expenses and give you a separate room (where kids could come over

if they chose), hell.....I'd do it. Maybe chip in on the gas a bit.

Your XW is also eventually going to run across a guy with anger issues. We know what happens then....
 
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Apologies for soap boxing on your thread but I really freaking hate the way TAM updates threads.

I wrote above statement thinking the last 7-8 threads were not there. When I posted the one above,

THEN the others appeared. Upgrades TAM...... yeah.... whatever you say LOL

Most definitely share this with attorney, DCS, DHS, and DAS. DAS because she is a threat to her

own well being. If that can be proven, then getting FC would be a breeze. Get FC first.

Then worry about moving. Given her choices of men after you, there may be a great

chance the baby daddy would sign away right willingly. But that is HER problem to solve.
 

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Discussion Starter · #596 ·
Def talk with the social worker about this OMs past. I'm sure they would be VERY interested in that, and will probably talk with the kids. Your lawyer should be able to discuss any sort of way to keep him away from your kids (at least until after the divorce is completed).
I'm gonna talk with him and ask considering all the info should I just cut the civil s*** and take her to court, in the end I have a bit of money left to fight her and she has nothing anyway. She claims he will never be around them again but it still speaks volumes about her character and how bad her choices are which i think is helpful in determining if she should continue to have 50% custody. Plus the medical issues.


Apologies for soap boxing on your thread but I really freaking hate the way TAM updates threads.

I wrote above statement thinking the last 7-8 threads were not there. When I posted the one above,

THEN the others appeared. Upgrades TAM...... yeah.... whatever you say LOL

Most definitely share this with attorney, DCS, DHS, and DAS. DAS because she is a threat to her

own well being. If that can be proven, then getting FC would be a breeze. Get FC first.

Then worry about moving. Given her choices of men after you, there may be a great

chance the baby daddy would sign away right willingly. But that is HER problem to solve.
I took a nice drive today to NJ well.. Not a fan of driving there but you get the point. Helped cleared up my thoughts a bit and I'm no longer second guessing myself on whether I should do this or not. Im going to do it.

Im still gonna talk to the social worker and my lawyer see what the best way to go about it is. Maybe we can have a conference and just get her to agree to save everyone the aggravation and expense since she may see she has no hope anyway.
Baby daddy already told her he would give her full custody so she's taking him to court to make it official. In terms of moving don't mind me my mind is like a chess board so im always planning 3 or 4 moves ahead and usually I can mix everything together and focus just right to figure it all out. Last few nights not so much..

We did text a bit today and I said i wanna be able to converse with her about things including things like this that can have an impact on the kids without it becoming an argument. She didnt like some of the things I said.. Still haven't told her I know who he is and what I know bout him, gonna save that info. She started being nice again but funny thing it was after she knew I stopped at Krispy Kreme.... no donuts for her!
 

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Discussion Starter · #597 ·
I spoke to the social worker today just for a bit over the phone since I couldn't make it into the office because I have the kids. He agrees this is the right move and that every choice she has made since leaving me hasn't really been good.
Now adding in bringing a felon around her kids or even just being associated with him is really bad news.
My lawyer will be back from vacation tomorrow i guess and i left a message. I may reach out to the kids lawyer and see what she says or wait and see what mine says.

My social workers kids went to the same school as my ex and her new "friend" he's gonna ask him if they know him just to see what they say. His son is 3 years older and daughter a year younger.
 

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From everything I've read here your wife in no way should be raising kids.

Serial cheater
Walked out on husband and kids
Got pregnant from a 3rd man, 20+ older than her just 6 months after walking out
Got dumped
6 months after new baby she's banging a professional criminal.

I wonder how long till she is pregnant with his kid? You should do everything in your power to get full custody of those kids.
 

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Discussion Starter · #599 ·
From everything I've read here your wife in no way should be raising kids.

Serial cheater
Walked out on husband and kids
Got pregnant from a 3rd man, 20+ older than her just 6 months after walking out
Got dumped
6 months after new baby she's banging a professional criminal.

I wonder how long till she is pregnant with his kid? You should do everything in your power to get full custody of those kids.
It's been on the back of my mind since things started picking up with the divorce but I wanted to keep it civil for the kids sake. Now I think for them it's the only choice.

Currently dead tired but can't sleep. Gonna be calling my lawyer tomorrow trying to figure out what to say, how to word this.
I hope for everyone's sake I can get this done quickly. Also have the creditors banging at the door, I'd like to get rid of them sooner rather then later.

I do get a bit peeved when she complains about her life to me and how broke she is, how horrible everyone is to her how everyone wants her to listen to her bs but no one will listen to hers etc etc etc... yet still living in an expensive apartment driving around in a 40k suv that I bought new, going shopping every other day just came back from lake George now going to NC tomorrow. That makes me nervous on top of it I don't think she should be driving for that long but I don't think I can stop it.

Not to mention the new "friend" bringing her "just coffee".. story doesn't add up.

Don't mind my ramblings im tired guess ill try see if I can sleep now.

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It's been on the back of my mind since things started picking up with the divorce but I wanted to keep it civil for the kids sake. Now I think for them it's the only choice.

Currently dead tired but can't sleep. Gonna be calling my lawyer tomorrow trying to figure out what to say, how to word this.
I hope for everyone's sake I can get this done quickly. Also have the creditors banging at the door, I'd like to get rid of them sooner rather then later.

I do get a bit peeved when she complains about her life to me and how broke she is, how horrible everyone is to her how everyone wants her to listen to her bs but no one will listen to hers etc etc etc... yet still living in an expensive apartment driving around in a 40k suv that I bought new, going shopping every other day just came back from lake George now going to NC tomorrow. That makes me nervous on top of it I don't think she should be driving for that long but I don't think I can stop it.

Not to mention the new "friend" bringing her "just coffee".. story doesn't add up.

Don't mind my ramblings im tired guess ill try see if I can sleep now.

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Is her "friend" going to NC with her? Or is it just her and the kids?

Why in the world would she want to be "friends" with a convicted felon that has done several stretches in prison? Maybe I missed it, but how did she even come to know this guy?
 
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