Talk About Marriage banner

521 - 540 of 549 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,432 Posts
Not to mention them crying in my arms telling me how mommy is mean to them etc etc.
I don't know what "etc etc" means in your case, but if things are as bad as they seem, after the divorce is final, move for sole custody.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
289 Posts
Discussion Starter · #522 ·
In most states, the majority view is that the wedding ring is a gift. You are not entitled to get it back. If she chooses to gift or share it with you, that's her decision, not yours. (Disregard if your state is different.)
In NY I believe it was the same. I was just hoping to get her to agree to it given that I still have it and she owes me a bunch of money. As I said I think shes gonna try file for bankruptcy once the ink is dry to get out of paying me.
She claims shes broke again though so not sure how she can afford it.

I don't know what "etc etc" means in your case, but if things are as bad as they seem, after the divorce is final, move for sole custody.
Well what I mean is just complaints about being there, they don't have any fun, they are tired of the back and forth, tired of the early morning wake ups. They complain that she pays more attention to the new baby instead of them and to a degree I understand babies need attention but I can give you one example I experienced myself.
I was there dropping them off, they walked in to the door and said hi to her she said hi back, the baby was on some sort of bean bag looking thing on the couch that keeps him propped up. She walks over to him picks him up and sits with him on the couch. Starts talking to him holding him up and all that. mean while the kids that haven't seen her in a few days are continuously hugging me so don't leave so quickly and when I finally do stop the hugs they all went away from her to play while shes still paying attention to the baby. They notice this stuff and they bring it up to me often.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
9,722 Posts
If the kids have a lawyer, they need to make it known what they want. They should do that anyway, they sound very unhappy and this one issue should be everyone’s primary concern. Those kids and their well being is top priority.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
289 Posts
Discussion Starter · #525 ·
If the kids have a lawyer, they need to make it known what they want. They should do that anyway, they sound very unhappy and this one issue should be everyone’s primary concern. Those kids and their well being is top priority.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Thats the thing the kids lawyer has already made it known what she thinks the schedule should be. Keeping the extra floating day in there goes against it so either they are hoping I agree and it be allowed or my exes lawyer didn't tell her the the schedule purposed was from the kids lawyer not me.

The kids are very unhappy with it all. They don't even like the early morning drop offs at 7am Monday and Tuesday but that will continue.

Sent from my SM-N975U1 using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
289 Posts
Discussion Starter · #526 ·
Maybe, maybe not. She owes with the court says she owes. You may find out that you owe HER a bunch of money.
It's already been determined what she owes me. When she left she took the savings, that years tax return, this years tax return plus didn't split the kids stimulus.

In the agreement she is to give me $17,600. She didn't try to change that. What she did is try to extend the time she has to pay some of it. 5100 was in 15 days. The rest in a year. She wants 180 days for the 5100.

I believe she will just try file bankruptcy so she doesn't have to pay. But she is willing to sign the agreement stating she owes me that amount.

Sent from my SM-N975U1 using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,432 Posts
It's already been determined what she owes me.
That's good. I was not aware that you already had an agreement with her. Do you know if her debt is dischargeable under the bankruptcy code?
 
  • Like
Reactions: jlg07

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,828 Posts
Courts don’t care about justice. You’re right. She’s going to stiff you and get away with stealing from you by filing bankruptcy. I’m sorry. Your wife has shown her character. Take solace in the fact that you are somewhat free of her now. You can make back the money. You can’t get back the time you wasted on her. My sympathies in what you’re going through.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,056 Posts
Thats the thing the kids lawyer has already made it known what she thinks the schedule should be. Keeping the extra floating day in there goes against it so either they are hoping I agree and it be allowed or my exes lawyer didn't tell her the the schedule purposed was from the kids lawyer not me.

The kids are very unhappy with it all. They don't even like the early morning drop offs at 7am Monday and Tuesday but that will continue.

Sent from my SM-N975U1 using Tapatalk
Then stick with what YOU and the kids are comfortable with. SHE needs to make the accommodations, not your children. I would just restate that you will stick with the plan that the children's lawyer came up with.

Also, not sure why you would agree with her for changing the schedule she needs to pay you, esp since that was directed by the court, yes? If so, again, no changes. Esp. if this type of debt she owes you could be wiped out by bankruptcy (check with your lawyer on that one..).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
289 Posts
Discussion Starter · #530 ·
That's good. I was not aware that you already had an agreement with her. Do you know if her debt is dischargeable under the bankruptcy code?
From what i understand it may be able to be discharged in chapter 13 but from what I understand its quite costly and shimmy still have to repay some of it. According to her shes broke even though she just got around 15-17k this year from taxes and stimulus.

Courts don’t care about justice. You’re right. She’s going to stiff you and get away with stealing from you by filing bankruptcy. I’m sorry. Your wife has shown her character. Take solace in the fact that you are somewhat free of her now. You can make back the money. You can’t get back the time you wasted on her. My sympathies in what you’re going through.
I just want this done at this point but I'm not gonna give into anything do to with the kids.

Then stick with what YOU and the kids are comfortable with. SHE needs to make the accommodations, not your children. I would just restate that you will stick with the plan that the children's lawyer came up with.

Also, not sure why you would agree with her for changing the schedule she needs to pay you, esp since that was directed by the court, yes? If so, again, no changes. Esp. if this type of debt she owes you could be wiped out by bankruptcy (check with your lawyer on that one..).
I am going to stick to my guns and if she wants to fight it out then I will spend every dollar I have making sure the kids don't have to deal with that bs schedule. She says its just me that wants it changed but that's not true.

Nothing has been in court yet, this was an agreement that my lawyer came up with and today i was sent their response. Mostly everything was the same besides her adding in she keeps the floating day off so kids go night before then back the next day, she wants her wedding ring back, and the changes to the repayment schedule which I think is to give her time to file bankruptcy.

Heres was got me nervous at the moment. I think I mentioned before that she said she will not be working mon, tues, and wed coming up. She wouldn't answer any other questions about it.

Again I asked her since she just said she still wants her floating days off with the kids. Why still want the floating day if not working? I asked her if it will change the floating day off she said no, Will it change the housing situation for her ($1500 apartment) again no. I asked will she be working at all.. she doesn't want to have this conversation right now..
When I asked.. When the time comes..
I said I didn't think the timing mattered she said she doesn't think her life plans and health issues are 100% of my business right now. Fair enough besides when it effects kids I think anyway.

Seems like shes not gonna be working coming up. So begs the questions how can she stay in her expensive 1 bedroom apartment? Why keep the kids for a floating day off that your not actually off? Will she come after me for child support now or try?

Sorry ranting nerves are at me
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,125 Posts
She will file 13...... bet the farm
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
289 Posts
Discussion Starter · #533 ·
Typically the answer is YES. Sorry.
I'm wondering we can do a child support waiver to stop her from coming after me but I doubt she would sign it even though I was "disgusting" for wanting any from her When I was going into massive debt.

She will file 13...... bet the farm
Yup which blows. but right now I'm more concerned about the schedule. Part of me just wants to take her to court for full custody because I don't see this going well either way. or maybe get this signed then take her to family court then i can get a free lawyer.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,432 Posts
Your state provides free lawyers?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
289 Posts
Discussion Starter · #536 ·
Your state provides free lawyers?
Yes for family court. Not for the divorce. I see this becoming messier then it already is either way. I am not letting my kids go back and forth on rotating days anymore it drives them insane. me too
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,125 Posts
I'm wondering we can do a child support waiver to stop her from coming after me but I doubt she would sign it even though I was "disgusting" for wanting any from her When I was going into massive debt.



Yup which blows. but right now I'm more concerned about the schedule. Part of me just wants to take her to court for full custody because I don't see this going well either way. or maybe get this signed then take her to family court then i can get a free lawyer.

Tie up her filing for 13 until you are paid. This will uncover her scheme. You can do this in my state, not sure about NY.

The 15 to 180 days shows her hand. Use the ring as leverage. A D is a war..... act accordingly.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Evinrude58

·
Registered
Joined
·
289 Posts
Discussion Starter · #538 ·
Tie up her filing for 13 until you are paid. This will uncover her scheme. You can do this in my state, not sure about NY.

The 15 to 180 days shows her hand. Use the ring as leverage. A D is a war..... act accordingly.
How can I do that?

Yeah and its not even for the larger amount. I know what makes if she doesn't have the money now shes not gonna have it then. The larger amount is a year to be paid back but hey if I get the smaller amount i guess that a win as long as shes pissed off lol.

Right now I see 2 options after thinking this over. Bring her to court and go for full custody which at the very least would make the schedule better for the kids and then she can't come at me for support which would take most of what income i get.

Or try have the agreement adjusted. See right now it says no support for either person and a 60/40 split on everything else the 60 being her portion. It states that if there is a 15% change in anyones income we can petition to have it changed.

If we sign the agreement this week and she goes out on say disability retirement the following week her income will go from 53k to about 15k I believe. I see her taking me to court for the support but If i can have it changed to represent her income that's coming up she cant change it. Trying to play chess here thinking long term.

I didn't want it to be war but alas its getting there. Very close to the first shot being fired. I can say this if that happens she will be Japan and I will be the U.S.!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,828 Posts
Sir, you need to get an attorney that will get you full custody of possible and get the best agreement possible for you. If you Try to do the right thing, you’re going to get pooped on in the worst way. You can always help her however you choose. But don’t let her put you in a bind with the law which already favors her.
This is a war, and if you don’t think so, you are losing it already.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
289 Posts
Discussion Starter · #540 ·
I have an attorney and shes very good. She always said no reason to go to court and the goal has been a good schedule for the kids and 50/50 custody.

Spoke to her today. She can put wording in about the support that will protect me basically in a few different situations. If my ex files for bankruptcy she said most likely it wouldn't get discharged but maybe reduced at its worse but chapter 13 isn't as easy as she may think to get rid of debt.

She is passing along what my ex is requesting for schedule to the kids lawyer and we are gonna see what she says.

She did say that maybe it has come to a point where we need to go to court since she doesn't wanna move.

Asked my ex today if she has inquired about life insurance, she said no and shes not sure she can get it now. Apparently beyond her RA she has been diagnosed with something else but she has yet to tell me what it is. Something that is severely impacting her life and job. All she said is the diagnosis isn't looking good for her.
 
521 - 540 of 549 Posts
Top