So its been over 3 months that my wife left me and my girls to be with a co worker, supposedly she said he didn't work there anymore and got a better job but yesterday I found out through my oldest daughter that he still works there and makes minimum wage like her, it seem like she's lied about who he really is . she put me down in every way possible, if you can think it she probably told me that. You didn't show me much attention...even though I did everything for her and supported almost all her ideas. Told me I never loved you and we have nothing in common, didn't find me attractive and never did. Even went as far as to insult my man hood...could you believe that? Told me I was a great father but a bad husband because I payed to much attention to our girls and not her. She's been gone for more than three months and shows no remorse whatsoever, she comes to see the girls once a week and never buys them anything. She spends maybe 2/3 hrs with them the day she comes to visit. Tuesday was the first day she took them out and was forcing my daughter to meet her AP and i don't think that's right. Well turns out that she told my daughter she never has money and doesn't visit them because she spends her check on other things. My daughter then asks her why don't you ask your dumb boyfriend for some , she tells her oh because he spend he's money like me and is always broke. Really!! She left me and my girls for this looser and is willing to put them through this crap and think everything is OK and that there doing great! I gave this woman everything and in the end I still got screwed I forgave her years ago for cheating and it just seems I couldn't do anything right in our relationship. The last excuse she gave me before she walked out was this guy is everything your not he's going to give me a better future , he makes me laugh all the time, he makes me feel like I never felt before, he supports me in everything and motivates me at work. Our sex life is great. Really! Why do you think...maybe because you don't have any responsibility you can go out and party and sleep with him without the kids to worry about. I feel so worthless and used and while I try to lie to myself that I don't love her I can't I'll be OK for a day or two and then it hits me again.
Wife left my girls and me for a coworker
Tomas
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I remember how hard it all was at the beginning. You're torn into pieces and all hurt and angry, but you have to deal with your kids' emotions first. My ex moved out of state and became a real deadbeat dad. Now, I can't even tell you where he is.
The thing is, the more you allow your kids to feel safe and secure and as stable as possible, the easier this whole ordeal will be for them. Show them, every day that Dad is here and is taking care of their world. Don't mention Mom. It breaks my heart that your DD 10 yr old had to say that to her mother. And it will leave a mark. At this point, Mom can choose to remain active and involved in her children's lives, or not. Have you mentioned the separation to the school counselor. You'd be surprised how much experience most of them have in helping kids through divorce.
No I haven't mentioned it to the school at first I thought there mother would be over it and we would work things out but things have just gotten worse there mother is deeper into her affair
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Your wife left you for nil. She down-graded.
Water, even dirty water seeks it's own level.
She could not breath properly on the "Mountain with an Expansive Vista" that you provided her.
She slithered down the steep slope and now comfortably lives in the lowland, in the bog, surrounded by swampland, amidst her fellow scaly critters and ever-present skeeters [some of which are two-legged blood-suckers].
Toads like her have no shoulders and they have no inclination to carry any load.
Why did she do this?
FOR: No responsibility, no pressures. She can smoke pot or do drugs, or have sex with whoever she wants........or not, if she chooses not to.
This is the hippie life and she is Neo-flower child.
I give her ten years. She will get plump, she will lose her teeth and any beauty that she possessed will require will require a ton of money to resurrect, that she will never have.
What feels good today has a price in tomorrow's unforgiving "bazaar". How bizarre!
She cut her ties to you and the children. In her haste, she knicked her own throat. The slow bleed-out will bring to bear; her progressing woes.
Her once pretty face will [oh-too-soon] kiss the muddy-muck...... when her kneed life-support give out.....and she collapses into despair....FACE DOWN.
A good plum WS did deliver, They be diamonds............. and they be daughters.
Water, even dirty water seeks it's own level.
She could not breath properly on the "Mountain with an Expansive Vista" that you provided her.
She slithered down the steep slope and now comfortably lives in the lowland, in the bog, surrounded by swampland, amidst her fellow scaly critters and ever-present skeeters [some of which are two-legged blood-suckers].
Toads like her have no shoulders and they have no inclination to carry any load.
Why did she do this?
FOR: No responsibility, no pressures. She can smoke pot or do drugs, or have sex with whoever she wants........or not, if she chooses not to.
This is the hippie life and she is Neo-flower child.
I give her ten years. She will get plump, she will lose her teeth and any beauty that she possessed will require will require a ton of money to resurrect, that she will never have.
What feels good today has a price in tomorrow's unforgiving "bazaar". How bizarre!
She cut her ties to you and the children. In her haste, she knicked her own throat. The slow bleed-out will bring to bear; her progressing woes.
Her once pretty face will [oh-too-soon] kiss the muddy-muck...... when her kneed life-support give out.....and she collapses into despair....FACE DOWN.
A good plum WS did deliver, They be diamonds............. and they be daughters.
tomas, you are lucky and you dont know it. You have your kids. I had mine and let my wife come home three years ago and now she is trying to boot me from the house and get custody of my kids . I wish I never let her back. Forget about her YOU NEED TOO YOU HAVE TOO . Move on with your girls. Now im fighting for custody after I already was awarded custody!!!!! PLEASE LISTEN TO ME. Just a second note, they dont change I thought mine had but she didnt the lies, the lies, the lies it never ends. Funny , my attorney told me that 3 years ago
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You are the custodial parent and primary caregiver already!
She's abandoned those children for months! Document! Document! Document everything you've done and she has not done. Then when you contact a lawyer he'll be armed with that evidence. Are you involved in their school yet?
You need to step up and be proactive till this is over. Don't just let things happen.
I know it's hard, but you are all you and those children have for a chance at a normal life. Stand up and make sure you have your say in what will happen.
Here these may give you some ideas,
Dads Divorce | Connecting Dads with Resources
Divorce Forum and Child Custody Forum
Best
She's abandoned those children for months! Document! Document! Document everything you've done and she has not done. Then when you contact a lawyer he'll be armed with that evidence. Are you involved in their school yet?
You need to step up and be proactive till this is over. Don't just let things happen.
I know it's hard, but you are all you and those children have for a chance at a normal life. Stand up and make sure you have your say in what will happen.
Here these may give you some ideas,
Dads Divorce | Connecting Dads with Resources
Divorce Forum and Child Custody Forum
Best
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18,550 Posts
No she wont get custody if you stand up for yourself. Document and get witnesses. She's abandoned her kids and you. Cmon man!!!!!
Read up and quit being someone's doormat. You can do this. Many have.
http://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=AwrB...rc/Robert_Glover_-_No_More_Mr_Nice_Guy.pdf/RK=0/RS=5l1tsYJTF60dQBx2Tf_9etxE4rk-
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40,554 Posts
Get a bound notebook calendar and go back to the day she left, and fill out data on every day since then - showing how little she is with her children. Once you get a lawyer, show them the calendar and say you want full custody of your girls.
I'm not even going to give you advice on how to get her back, because I don't want you back with her; she's a serial cheater and you deserve better.
I'm not even going to give you advice on how to get her back, because I don't want you back with her; she's a serial cheater and you deserve better.
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Don't assume she gets custody.
The longer you are the primary care-giver for the two kids, the better your chances of retaining legal custody upon divorce. Document everything. Keep a journal and quickly jot down things like : prepared breakfast, prepped for school, assisted w/homework, made dinner, coordinated play-date, talked with teacher, took to MD, etc. If or when she takes the girls for the night write that down along with any communication you have with the kids when they are not with you. Write them down daily, like at the end of the day. It will be invaluable when it comes to you getting custody. The court will listen to a daily journal.
The longer you are the primary care-giver for the two kids, the better your chances of retaining legal custody upon divorce. Document everything. Keep a journal and quickly jot down things like : prepared breakfast, prepped for school, assisted w/homework, made dinner, coordinated play-date, talked with teacher, took to MD, etc. If or when she takes the girls for the night write that down along with any communication you have with the kids when they are not with you. Write them down daily, like at the end of the day. It will be invaluable when it comes to you getting custody. The court will listen to a daily journal.
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Tomas, I am sorry you are going through this.
Three months is not a very long time and I know you are still off balance and reeling from the shock of what your wife has done, but...the others are right. You need to find an attorney and you need to educate yourself immediately about your rights as a parent.
As the other posters noted, your wife abandoned not only you, but her own children! This is huge. Please document everything she has done and said. She had the nerve to criticize you for putting the girls ahead of her...do you have any idea how crazy that's going to sound to a judge?
I found this link that might be helpful, and I will search for others...
List of Fathers' Rights Organizations in the U.S.
Three months is not a very long time and I know you are still off balance and reeling from the shock of what your wife has done, but...the others are right. You need to find an attorney and you need to educate yourself immediately about your rights as a parent.
As the other posters noted, your wife abandoned not only you, but her own children! This is huge. Please document everything she has done and said. She had the nerve to criticize you for putting the girls ahead of her...do you have any idea how crazy that's going to sound to a judge?
I found this link that might be helpful, and I will search for others...
List of Fathers' Rights Organizations in the U.S.
I know this is hard and I am sorry for your situation. In a way you are lucky. I wish my stbxw would leave me and our son. Then there would be no custody dispute and I could provide him with a stable life. Instead she wants to take him out of the state so there will be a battle. It is good that you do not have to deal with this type of issue.
I have all the times she has come over written down I'm going to go buy a calendar planner tonight and copy everything over.
As for getting her back I have lost that hope already, no matter how much I love her and I do I can't take her back, with all she's done to me,she left me broken, feeling worthless, and unattractive that's how bad she's made me feel, besides I doubt she would want to come back she's so in love with her affair partner
Yeah she told me that was one of the major reasons, she said your a great father you worry too much about your kids and don't pay much attention to me, you always put them first, your a horrible husband good look to the next one after me, even though I was the one cleaning the house ,looking after the girls ,helping with homework and even cooked a lot of times and even took her lunch to work.. Home cooked could you believe that and she still said before she left she hated me visiting her at work
she decided to leave one night when I told her the girls rooms a mess and you never help me with it, she then went crazy on me and said she worked hard too just like me, even though I was always the one doing everything. After that day she blocked me out and wouldn't even talk to me, said she felt angry every time she looked at me.after that they she would start getting home past 3:00am. This lasted 2 weeks and decided to leave to be with AP of course she denied it at first.
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I can honestly say that I was AT LEAST as crushed, depressed, self esteem gone, not looking forward to waking up the next day and hoping I wouldn't, as you. It's been about two years. I feel now that this horrible evil deed that was done by her, turned out to be a blessing to me. I am now in a happy, loving, affectionate relationship that leaves me feeling fulfilled, happy, excited, and content. I wonder how I ever was happy in my past marriage.
It can happen to you, also.
You are going to be miserable. But, if you will force yourself to do what you know you should, you will go forward and find contentment again.
Do not be afraid to start over. God can turn the worst situation around if you get out if his way.
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It can happen to you, also.
You are going to be miserable. But, if you will force yourself to do what you know you should, you will go forward and find contentment again.
Do not be afraid to start over. God can turn the worst situation around if you get out if his way.
Posted via Mobile Device
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Oh, trust me...she'd been seeing her new beau long before this blow up between the two of you. She was merely looking for a reason to start a fight and bail on all of you.
I am glad that you are documenting everything...continue to do so.
And take it from Evinrude and me...someday, you will realize how much of a blessing this whole interlude was. I know it sucks right now, but things will get so much better for you.
Yeah I can see how she had this planned out for awhile already I mean this isn't the first time she did this, first time she walked out on us though like she didn't even care. My daughter told me she acts different now not mommy like anymore it makes me sad to hear it coming from my daughter. Its just hard for us people that actually value family and wedding vows , I would of never had done something like this to her even when she cheated the first time and like this time it was with a co worker. It seems like every job she gets I always had to worry about it
I dedicated my life to my family if you guys had any advice on getting out there and meeting new people what would you suggest, at this point all I want to do is stay isolated and just dedicate my time to my girls , but its so hard I feel like sometimes I just need to go out for a night with someone my age or do you and think that's a bad idea?
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Advice on meeting new people?
Wait a year before you start to date. Get into therapy to get the knots out of your rope between now and then.
No offense, but you would not be good for dating right now or anytime soon.
Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk
Wait a year before you start to date. Get into therapy to get the knots out of your rope between now and then.
No offense, but you would not be good for dating right now or anytime soon.
Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk
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7,473 Posts
Not a bad idea. Check out meetup.com in your area. Hold your head up my friend. Things really do get better with time even though letting go is hard.
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