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Hello All

I’m new to this, I’ve been trying to find a way to get this off my chest. I’ve been married for 6 years. Two months ago my wife left me and took my child. We’ve had issues in our marriage for a while, Problems with in-laws (Basically her mum Dictating what her daughter should be doing and always succeeding) ,pregnancy (basically me not coming to terms with the pregnancy and asking her to abort it I hate that I said that to her) and where to live, and trust issues down to me.
Basically the trust went out the window let’s say it was a reoccurring thing on my part. She found a escorts number who I was going to arrange to see, in the end I couldn’t do it, she has prove that I never went, the last message was the escort asking where I was and why I never texted her. Basically she forgive me, I was happy I tried harder but slipped back into old habits my wife went through my phone again and found a bunch of things such as porn and contact numbers of women who do video calls, I admit I’m a piece of sh**t, she always found a old laptop which had porn on it which I completely forgot about .She confronted me about I didint handle the situation very well I tried blaming her about our sex life, and from then on more Arguments happened. I came home from work she told me she going shopping and Then she Didint come home I asked her oh where are you she told me, I’m staying at my mum house with our son and I’m not coming home. I thought ok maybe let’s give her space, 3 days after she came back with her family and took the rest of her stuff, I asked if I could see my child, she agreed to meet at the park all of sudden she coming out with I dont believe you have been faithful and I want a divorce I couldn’t believe what I heard I tried not say anything, because of our little one was there but I said why can’t we have this talk somewhere else she said she’s made up her mind, she taken all her stuff, redirected all her letters to her parents house. I keep thinking what should I be doing I want my wife back so badly, I dont know what to do, I have no idea. Is the marriage to far gone for me safe it, it’s just nice have some opinions
 

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If you are for real, yes the marriage is too far gone. You have made about every mistake that someone could make in order to lose your wife, marriage, and child.

It would be better to grow up, learn how to be an adult and a good man, and then start over with someone else.

Can you see that?
 

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Give her the divorce.

you have caused her a lot of pain and heartache.
Get counseling to help you learn how to participate on a more mature level within any relationship.

learn to use condoms instead of suggesting an abortion!
 

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Hello All

I’m new to this, I’ve been trying to find a way to get this off my chest. I’ve been married for 6 years. Two months ago my wife left me and took my child. We’ve had issues in our marriage for a while, Problems with in-laws (Basically her mum Dictating what her daughter should be doing and always succeeding) ,pregnancy (basically me not coming to terms with the pregnancy and asking her to abort it I hate that I said that to her) and where to live, and trust issues down to me.
Basically the trust went out the window let’s say it was a reoccurring thing on my part. She found a escorts number who I was going to arrange to see, in the end I couldn’t do it, she has prove that I never went, the last message was the escort asking where I was and why I never texted her. Basically she forgive me, I was happy I tried harder but slipped back into old habits my wife went through my phone again and found a bunch of things such as porn and contact numbers of women who do video calls, I admit I’m a piece of sh**t, she always found a old laptop which had porn on it which I completely forgot about .She confronted me about I didint handle the situation very well I tried blaming her about our sex life, and from then on more Arguments happened. I came home from work she told me she going shopping and Then she Didint come home I asked her oh where are you she told me, I’m staying at my mum house with our son and I’m not coming home. I thought ok maybe let’s give her space, 3 days after she came back with her family and took the rest of her stuff, I asked if I could see my child, she agreed to meet at the park all of sudden she coming out with I dont believe you have been faithful and I want a divorce I couldn’t believe what I heard I tried not say anything, because of our little one was there but I said why can’t we have this talk somewhere else she said she’s made up her mind, she taken all her stuff, redirected all her letters to her parents house. I keep thinking what should I be doing I want my wife back so badly, I dont know what to do, I have no idea. Is the marriage to far gone for me safe it, it’s just nice have some opinions
Sounds like you've blown it.
If she were on here asking for advice....I think many of us would have said divorce this guy, he sounds shady.
I think her divorcing you is best.
Escorts....porn....etc.
Whether you actually did it or not.....going that close to the edge....she'll never know for sure whether you did or not. Why should she have to live with that lack of peace, worry, doubt, pain....my husband may have had sex with a *****.
She shouldn't have to live her life like that.
Accept it, work on yourself to become a better man who can be true to a woman and make her feel secure and loved.
 

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Let's even say it wasn't too far gone, why would she come back? I don't see any actually improvement on your part just yeah I did it. or I didn't do it. But no actual effective change, plan, or remorse.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Let's even say it wasn't too far gone, why would she come back? I don't see any actually improvement on your part just yeah I did it. or I didn't do it. But no actual effective change, plan, or remorse.
I admit that’s where I’m struggling, I’ve been trying to put together a plan I’ve thrown everything away which can mislead me down that road, I don’t know what to do next, to show my wife that I do love her
 

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The trouble is you've spent lots of time showing her you don't love her. Actions speak. You have said you'd do better but don't. She is now done. You don't have much left.

I will say most times when a wife has reached this point she is done and nothing is going to change it. But you can try if you want knowing the chances are slim.

You can do everything you can to make her life and your child's life easier. That is about the only way to show her you love her now. It is probably too late. But you can try. She is at her mom's, so who mows the lawn over there? Have you offered to go shopping so she doesn't have to get exposed during the pandemic? How are you two handling money? Have you offered any monetary support for you wife and child while at mom's? Have you contacted her now that she is calmer and asked to talk? When she says she doesn't trust you do you admit your culpablity and say, " I know why that is and I'm sorry I put you in this position" or do you say something like horseshit why don't you trust me?
 

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When finally women walk away, they usually don’t change their mind. Maybe she’ll come back at some point and maybe she won’t. That’s unknown right now. In the meantime, work very hard on becoming someone she would want to be with.
 

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@Sdwan100 How long did you think your poor long suffering wife would put up with your ****?
Imagine if she was watching male porn, getting guys numbers for meet ups would you put up with it? Unfortunately guys like you do not realise what you have until you lose it. But then you learn the hard way.

Seems like you are not marriage material and she has made the right decision to divorce and move on. You need to grow up and become a man worthy of a good woman. You need to get your **** together. It is highly unlikely she will give you any more chances, now she wants a divorce, I am sure she has discussed it with family, Hard to come back from this. Take your medicine.
 
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