Talk About Marriage banner

If your spouse(tells you they're not happy and) wants out do you try to talk them out of it?

  • No, I will help them leave.

    Votes: 77 72.0%
  • Yes, I would show them what we had and have.

    Votes: 30 28.0%
1261 - 1280 of 1316 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
667 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,261 ·
9 and 10 are assets and debt. You either agree how to split them or you don’t. If you don’t (according to the laws in my state) then you won’t have an uncontested divorce. There will be a trial because it’s contested and then the judge decides what happens if the two of you can’t agree. That’s the expensive way to handle it.

11 is name change. If she wants to take back her maiden name (as the defendant if you’re the one filing) then you could check that box or else indicate you don’t know the preference.
So I should leave 9, 10, 11 blank, right? There's nothing to answer for 12, 13 and 14, right?
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
12,308 Posts
Yes, that’s her choice about the name. Some women do keep their married names (for various reasons) and some prefer to take their original name back.

The form apparently is for an uncontested divorce (without alimony) because you either have to check that you don’t have assets or debt or you have to check that you’ve agreed on their division. If the two of you don’t agree then I don’t know if it will be accepted for filing.

Also, if she wants alimony and there’s no provision for it in this form, she could contest this once she’s served — assuming it’s actually accepted for filing by the county clerk (as would be the case in my state) with some of it left blank since asset and debt division are very important parts.

12, 13, and 14 appear to be statements you’re agreeing to with nothing to check off that I see. This form is apparently for a simple, uncontested divorce with agreement on assets and debts between the parties. I don’t think at this point you have that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
667 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,263 ·
Yes, that’s her choice about the name. Some women do keep their married names (for various reasons) and some prefer to take their original name back.

The form apparently is for an uncontested divorce (without alimony) because you either have to check that you don’t have assets or debt or you have to check that you’ve agreed on their division. If the two of you don’t agree then I don’t know if it will be accepted for filing.

Also, if she wants alimony and there’s no provision for it in this form, she could contest this once she’s served — assuming it’s actually accepted for filing by the county clerk (as would be the case in my state) with some of it left blank since asset and debt division are very important parts.

12, 13, and 14 appear to be statements you’re agreeing to with nothing to check off that I see. This form is apparently for a simple, uncontested divorce with agreement on assets and debts between the parties. I don’t think at this point you have that.
So I'm wondering why the paralegal had me to download and use these forms. I'll ask tomorrow.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
20,515 Posts
Oh yeah, after reading reviews on Cymbalta I stopped taking them immediately.
Yes, the list of side effects are long, one of the worst, keeps your manhood short.

Is a calm mind, worth a flat-lined erection?

The sad thing is that a good lady wants and deserves one and not the other.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
12,308 Posts
If you’re trying to represent yourself and not use a lawyer, you need to have the proper forms for your situation. If you and your wife can’t agree on asset and debt distribution, the uncontested form isn’t the right one. Even if somehow you get your current forms filed as is, the judge at the hearing is likely to ask questions (the judge for my hearing asked a lot of questions as he was skimming through my petition and it was in perfect order). Your wife will have to be served or sign a form waiving service and she’ll get a copy of the complaint. When she reads it, she’ll know what you’re asking for and if it’s not something she agreed to there’s no reason for her to go along with it. Hope isn’t a strategy. You need to come to an agreement about assets and debts or realize you’re going to be dealing with a contested divorce and the judge will then decide how that’s allocated instead of the two of you.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
12,308 Posts
And few people are ever all that thrilled about how a judge decides things. If the two of you can’t agree, tell her it’s going to cost a lot of money. You’ll still be divorced — I’ve never heard of a judge refusing to grant a divorce — but it’ll be more expensive (depending on how much she wants to fight it). Maybe she doesn’t care about the expense, or making it uncomplicated, but most people prefer simple and easy over the alternative — especially when you have a third party (judge) making decisions that the two of you could have made and which neither of you may like.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
12,308 Posts
Okay, just got off the phone with the paralegal. She said after she's served she'll have 30 days to respond, if she doesn't the paralegal said I would then request for a temporary hearing.
And the paralegal said you can file uncontested (meaning agreement between the parties) and leave blanks in the complaint regarding asset and debt division?

In my state, when the defendant doesn’t respond the plaintiff is granted what is asked for in the complaint. It’s a default judgment in my state. In an agreed-upon, uncontested divorce there’s no reason for the defendant to respond. If the defendant doesn’t agree with what’s in the complaint, then he or she responds with a counter-claim or counter-suit (in my state) and then the judge decides for you. That’s what you’d like to avoid. Maybe your wife will be one of those rare defendants who just doesn’t care but that’s unlikely. When money is involved people usually care.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
667 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,274 ·
And the paralegal said you can file uncontested (meaning agreement between the parties) and leave blanks in the complaint regarding asset and debt division?

In my state, when the defendant doesn’t respond the plaintiff is granted what is asked for in the complaint. It’s a default judgment in my state. In an agreed-upon, uncontested divorce there’s no reason for the defendant to respond. If the defendant doesn’t agree with what’s in the complaint, then he or she responds with a counter-claim or counter-suit (in my state) and then the judge decides for you. That’s what you’d like to avoid. Maybe your wife will be one of those rare defendants who just doesn’t care but that’s unlikely. When money is involved people usually care.
She was just saying that I should do this to get it started and if my stbx doesn't agree that she could respond then or not. I'm calling her back tomorrow, it was a very short conversation.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
12,308 Posts
She was just saying that I should do this to get it started and if my stbx doesn't agree that she could respond then or not. I'm calling her back tomorrow, it was a very short conversation.
Yes, if your wife doesn’t agree she can contest it and file her own counter-complaint of what should be done (in my state). In that case, she’ll be the plaintiff and you’ll be the defendant.

The bigger issue at the moment is whether or not you can file the complaint you downloaded leaving blank the questions regarding asset/debt division. The paralegal will know whether a document with blanks in it — especially pertaining to key elements like assets and debts — is valid or not.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
667 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,276 ·
Yes, if your wife doesn’t agree she can contest it and file her own counter-complaint of what should be done (in my state). In that case, she’ll be the plaintiff and you’ll be the defendant.

The bigger issue at the moment is whether or not you can file the complaint you downloaded leaving blank the questions regarding asset/debt division. The paralegal will know whether a document with blanks in it — especially pertaining to key elements like assets and debts — is valid or not.
I'll ask the paralegal tomorrow.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
667 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,277 ·
Yes, if your wife doesn’t agree she can contest it and file her own counter-complaint of what should be done (in my state). In that case, she’ll be the plaintiff and you’ll be the defendant.

The bigger issue at the moment is whether or not you can file the complaint you downloaded leaving blank the questions regarding asset/debt division. The paralegal will know whether a document with blanks in it — especially pertaining to key elements like assets and debts — is valid or not.
Okay, the paralegal told me to put we will divide(assets) on our own, on the paper.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
12,308 Posts
Okay, the paralegal told me to put we will divide(assets) on our own, on the paper.
In my state that division needs to be done before the complaint is filed — otherwise by checking that box you are representing that the division has been done when it hasn’t been (and, more important, may not be if she chooses not to cooperate). Or by leaving it blank does it become null and void? Maybe the paralegal doesn’t understand that you and your wife aren’t yet in agreement about any of this? In any event, the paralegal is the one familiar with the laws in your state. If she says a document with blanks in it can be filed then go with it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
667 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1,279 ·
In my state that division needs to be done before the complaint is filed — otherwise by checking that box you are representing that the division has been done when it hasn’t been (and, more important, may not be if she chooses not to cooperate). Or by leaving it blank does it become null and void? Maybe the paralegal doesn’t understand that you and your wife aren’t yet in agreement about any of this? In any event, the paralegal is the one familiar with the laws in your state. If she says a document with blanks in it can be filed then go with it.
She told me to fill it out, not to leave it blank. She's aware of my wife not cooperating. The paralegal is preparing for the next step, filing for a temporary hearing. But after the summons that I'm preparing.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,579 Posts
She told me to fill it out, not to leave it blank. She's aware of my wife not cooperating. The paralegal is preparing for the next step, filing for a temporary hearing. But after the summons that I'm preparing.
OK, do as she says, BUT make sure someone from the law firm will be there to answer the judge if he/she questions why it was filled out that way.
 
1261 - 1280 of 1316 Posts
Top