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Hi, a little back story, me and my wife have know each other since we were teenagers we got together when I was 20 and she was 19, we got married 1 year in and I’m now 29 we have kids together, she had 1 child from her previous marriage.

I had a feeling we were going down hill and I tryed everything possible I even almost lost my job because she was just ready to toss in the towel so I would come home so we could discuss things.

I’ll be honest I was not the best husband I had jealousy issues where I did not Feel comfortable with her talking to her ex’s and that’s what made us argue, I never asked her to work I let her be a stay at home mom I never once asked her to work, I bought her anything she wanted, I busted my ass at work so she could stay home with my step son and when our kids came along I busted my ass harder to make more money and I never told her my money I always said our money.

I would go to work for 10+ hours a day to come home clean, make food for the kids, get there lunches ready for school, get up and get them to school, go pick up her son after I would get off work, she would just sit there on her phone.

My big thing is she left me 3 weeks ago and has moved in and re started dating her very first boyfriend we only separated maybe 3 weeks ago and she has already introduced him to my children, before she left me we started having a lot of sex and I mean a lot. Don’t no if this is to much info but we even did anal for the first time and she let me finish in there, then the day she left we were already separated but she let me touch her and she was even kissing me and we did have sex.

I’m wondering if she is in a rebound relationship, she chose to leave me, I am honestly fine that she left I have actually improved mentally and started getting in shape and doing the old things I loved. I’m really worrie about her mental health From what I remember she has never been single for very long I feel she needs to have a man in her life to show her love, I just worrie she is going to try so hard to make this relationship work and get my kids attached to this guy the. BAM he’s gone.

Her friends even said a long time ago that her ex has been known to sleep with girls then toss them out and do it over and over. Even his own mom told her to not go back to him he has new girlfriends all the time. I just worrie she is going to push herself to believe it’s working and end up mentally ruining herself and messing our kids mental state up as well.

Sorry for the long convo what are you’re guys thought?

Also she is a very attractive girl a lot of guys always tryed hitting on her I always told her she was beautiful and amazing. But ever since she got back with her ex she writes me “ I was horrible to her during our marriage and even after and she will never forget how horrible I treated her” I never hit her I did not talk down to her yes during our arguments we would both say hurtful things.

Do you guys think I was a bad person and do you think she is in a rebound relationship or maybe they have a shot I just don’t want her mental state to get more messed up she is a very fragil girl, I just hate to knowing someone is taking advantage of her.
 

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Discussion Starter #2
Also she has already moved in with this guy. He has no kids and has not been in a long relationship at all that I no of.
 

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She was never 'really' in love with you. You were always a good pick.
Not the best [in her little mind].

Let her take her beauty and burn it out on as many men that will tolerate her.
Sounds like she is very unstable.

When God made some people he put a little candle in them.
The candle burns "Wanderlust" oil.

It usually burns for years and years. But by forty-five, or so, the oil starts to get rancid.
It drives people away.

Luckily, most people who have this candle are shallow.
They are butterflies. Your wife is this. A pretty butterfly.
One *burdened with children, diminishing her value with a lot of men.

Her type do not miss what they never had:
Love and compassion for others.
Love of themselves.
True understanding of life, of themselves.
Honor.

Another pretty plastic doll, that is all she is.
Until proven otherwise.

Just Sayin'

SCM



*note, children are never a burden, except to shallow, selfish people.
 

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Hang on, if you met when she was 19 and married at 20, how is it she was already previously married and divorced with a child?

You say you got jealous because she was talking to her exes, I agree with you that talking to exes is dangerous, as has now been proved.

I think that now you must think only of the children. She is a lady well into adulthood and can make her own mistakes and messes. She has left therefore you are no longer responsible for her life. The children however are innocent victims of a useless mother, and you need to get legal advise and see if you can at least get joint custody. At least then they will have the 50% of their time in a secure place.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
She was never 'really' in love with you. You were always a good pick.
Not the best [in her little mind].

Let her take her beauty and burn it out on as many men that will tolerate her.
Sounds like she is very unstable.

When God made some people he put a little candle in them.
The candle burns "Wanderlust" oil.

It usually burns for years and years. But by forty-five, or so, the oil starts to get rancid.
It drives people away.

Luckily, most people who have this candle are shallow.
They are butterflies. Your wife is this. A pretty butterfly.
One *burdened with children, diminishing her value with a lot of men.

Her type do not miss what they never had:
Love and compassion for others.
Love of themselves.
True understanding of life, of themselves.
Honor.

Another pretty plastic doll, that is all she is.
Until proven otherwise.

Just Sayin'

SCM



*note, children are never a burden, except to shallow, selfish people.
She does not think of her self as this knock girl that can get anyone, she believes she is super ugly, but she is actually a very beautiful girl, if she came back I would not take her back, I honestly just wish she would work on her own self esteem and value herself and get a job and her own place so she can take care of her kids, right now her oldest lives with his dad and our children live with me, so this guy I worrie is just going to use her and toss her out.

She is the mother to my children we may not have worked out but I want my children to see there mom strong not weak minded latching into a old flame hoping for the best.

I feel she is in a rebound and this guy knows it and is just taking advantage of it.
 

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Hang on, if you met when she was 19 and married at 20, how is it she was already previously married and divorced with a child?
She got married at 18 and got pregnant with her first son and divorced right after.
 

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She got married at 18 and got pregnant with her first son and divorced right after.
Wow so you don't se that as a red flag? Looks like she is going to still be in her 20's with 2 divorces already. The way she is going she could end up with many more.
 

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She does not think of her self as this knock girl that can get anyone, she believes she is super ugly, but she is actually a very beautiful girl, if she came back I would not take her back, I honestly just wish she would work on her own self esteem and value herself and get a job and her own place so she can take care of her kids, right now her oldest lives with his dad and our children live with me, so this guy I worrie is just going to use her and toss her out.

She is the mother to my children we may not have worked out but I want my children to see there mom strong not weak minded latching into a old flame hoping for the best.

I feel she is in a rebound and this guy knows it and is just taking advantage of it.
I don't care what other's say.

Rebound is good. Laying. broken in a corner, or naval gazing while figuring 'what next' is a poor option.

Get out there and live. Just do not 'latch' onto a shooting star, or a turd.
 

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How many kids? And are any actually yours?
She has 3 kids and 2 of them are mine.
Right now her oldest lives with his dad and the my kids live with me.

I want her to be happy she already been down this road before with this guy did not work out a few times and she is still clinging but hey let her keep trying even her mom already said “what are you going to do when he breaks up with you” my thing is she is already mentally unstable she breaks down with a lot of stress, cannot handle pressure so she said she can’t work I usually handled everything from school phone conversations to anything really she would start having panic attacks trying to figure out what to say.

My biggest issue with our hole separation in these 3 weeks she is trying to bring a new guy into our little kids life who is most likely going to leave when he had his fun. Her oldiest refused to go to her new place and to meet him, he asked his dad if he can just come to my place instead of going with her.
 

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My big thing is she left me 3 weeks ago and has moved in and re started dating her very first boyfriend we only separated maybe 3 weeks ago and she has already introduced him to my children, before she left me we started having a lot of sex and I mean a lot.
I’m wondering if she is in a rebound relationship,

She was in the relationship before she left.



Also she is a very attractive girl a lot of guys always tryed hitting on her I always told her she was beautiful and amazing. But ever since she got back with her ex she writes me “ I was horrible to her during our marriage and even after and she will never forget how horrible I treated her” I never hit her I did not talk down to her yes during our arguments we would both say hurtful things.


She's rewriting the history of your marriage to justify her leaving ( and I believe cheating before she left)

Do you guys think I was a bad person and do you think she is in a rebound relationship

See above
or maybe they have a shot I just don’t want her mental state to get more messed up she is a very fragil girl, I just hate to knowing someone is taking advantage of her.
 

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She was cheating before she left. File for divorce and complete it. Keep the kids and make her pay child support. Seems like she is not into her children at the moment, use that to your advantage. They need stability in their lives while she recycles her ex's. Mommy of the year.

She will try and come back when she gets sick of paying CS. Don't let her, she will just cheat again.
 

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She has 3 kids and 2 of them are mine.
Right now her oldest lives with his dad and the my kids live with me.

I want her to be happy she already been down this road before with this guy did not work out a few times and she is still clinging but hey let her keep trying even her mom already said “what are you going to do when he breaks up with you” my thing is she is already mentally unstable she breaks down with a lot of stress, cannot handle pressure so she said she can’t work I usually handled everything from school phone conversations to anything really she would start having panic attacks trying to figure out what to say.

My biggest issue with our hole separation in these 3 weeks she is trying to bring a new guy into our little kids life who is most likely going to leave when he had his fun. Her oldiest refused to go to her new place and to meet him, he asked his dad if he can just come to my place instead of going with her.

Cut out the excuses she's just your typical cheater.

You want her to be happy? File for divorce and full custody of your kids.

You need to stop your doormatish attitude. It will get you nothing
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Cut out the excuses she's just your typical cheater.

You want her to be happy? File for divorce and full custody of your kids.

You need to stop your doormatish attitude. It will get you nothing
I have already filed :) I would never want her back even co workers see a difference in me saying I’m happier and calmer looking. No way in hell I want to go back to that.
 

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Really simple my friend. She is highly unstable. She is attempting to add a new man into your children's lives. I urge you to keep the kids with you, and cut off her contact for the time being. Initiate divorce and let her know that you will be looking for an agreement weighted in your favor.

This may have been your wife, but no more.
 
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I disagree she was cheating (having sex) before she left. She was working up to it, for sure, and using you to relieve the sexual tension that was building up between her and the new man.

She is saying what she has to and telling herself what she has to in order to justify her childish and selfish behavior. I agree with whoever said she was never really in love with you. You were a good choice. You gave her a comfortable life without too many complications. She stayed at home and you came home and did all that work? What was she doing all day??

She is a hollow shell. She is a person with no real core. There is no going back because you can never trust her. Move on. Take care of yourself and get into counseling so you can work on those communication issues. You are still very young. Good luck.
 

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Really simple my friend. She is highly unstable. She is attempting to add a new man into your children's lives. I urge you to keep the kids with you, and cut off her contact for the time being. Initiate divorce and let her know that you will be looking for an agreement weighted in your favor.

This may have been your wife, but no more.
My children are with me, she hasn’t even attempted to see them or asked to see them since I got them back, the only real contact was her asking me if I want to meet her new boyfriend since he’s in the picture now.

I kinda expected her to try and get in contact with the kids and everything but no most I seen so far was what are the kids up to. That was when I first got them back.
 

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My children are with me, she hasn’t even attempted to see them or asked to see them since I got them back, the only real contact was her asking me if I want to meet her new boyfriend since he’s in the picture now.

I kinda expected her to try and get in contact with the kids and everything but no most I seen so far was what are the kids up to. That was when I first got them back.

That just tells you what she is: Any cat can have kittens.
 
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My children are with me, she hasn’t even attempted to see them or asked to see them since I got them back, the only real contact was her asking me if I want to meet her new boyfriend since he’s in the picture now.

I kinda expected her to try and get in contact with the kids and everything but no most I seen so far was what are the kids up to. That was when I first got them back.
Document all of this.
 
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