This is embarrassing to say the least but I need some advice on what to do. So My wife is 23 and Im 27. We have a 3 year old daughter who is my life. We have been together for 5 Years and married 2.
So I catch her in a lie about her staying with her parents cause I called there to talk to her and her mom said she was with a friend. So once I spoke with her she said she needed to talk. She told me she was unhappy and that the relationship isnt working and she went to her friends to clear her head (still not believing this)
(Ive always been here for her...I dont have a temper..I deal will things very positive and she doesnt..shes always mrs negative nancy and I see that she is miserable and she doesnt talk about her feelings with me at all. I suggested she go to a therapist so she can be happy with herself..she never went. Her way of dealing with issues is forgetting them)
So after she said she was unhappy I new there was something motivating this because she never does this. So I start digging into the call records and I find she is talking a friend that I grew up with and have over my house on the weekends and comes on a couple trips with us as he doesnt have much family. I see tons of texts and calls late at night so I confronted her. And eventually she tells me she has feeling for him (blow to the heart) First I am mad then as the man that loves her says we can get through this. She says she wants to work it out and I try and get through the pain of her have feelings for another man. I said she needs to stop the communication with him immediately and she agreed. I also text him and said what he was doing was wrong and that when she told him she had feelings he should have cut it off right there. But nope he plays along and sucks her in by saying he feels the same.
So over the next few days Im really pushing the fact that we need to talk about things and she just gets angry and says she doesnt want to. Found another message 2 days later and she said she sent it when she was drunk..haha..so that means its ok. At this point I was being really pushy with her and try and get her to talk and realized after reading these threads she needs space and to let her discuss on her own. So I told her this and said I will be here when your ready to talk. Over the next 5 days She continues to totally ignore me...she comes home and I had dinner on the table for her. She goes in the shower and I looked through her phone and that morning she sent a text to her friend that she was going to OM's house tomorrow and I went into shock. She got out of the shower and I immediately confronted her and said I wanted a divorce that I coulnt take it anymore. So she decides to go downstairs and cry all night..I didnt feel bad at all..why should I? So we wake up we dont talk..just a few words...I went to work totally not focused and call her moms house where she was going for the day and asked to talked to my wife.." She went out shopping and to dinner with a friend" her friend. This is what she told me she was doing before I found the text. So even after I caught her she still acted...and I know for sure cause I tracked her phone(I work for company so Im able to do that)
So I tell her Parents the whole situation casue I wanted them to know I tries my hardest and that I love them. They were upset and angry. I asked them when she got back to tell her she needs to stay there til I figure out what to do. Shes ends up popping into the house and I couldnt even look at her.
So all I did was tell her its over and she just kept saying Im not letting you go like this. Im gonna work this out...Now she is in begging mode telling me lets work this out.. I need our family..its just making me disgusted whenever she speaks...cause shes selfish and is comfortable with me...I need some support on how I can hold my ground with this...All I do is feel bad for her..how can I handle this?
I know my post is all over the place so if you need more details or are a little lost please just ask..thanks for your support
So I catch her in a lie about her staying with her parents cause I called there to talk to her and her mom said she was with a friend. So once I spoke with her she said she needed to talk. She told me she was unhappy and that the relationship isnt working and she went to her friends to clear her head (still not believing this)
(Ive always been here for her...I dont have a temper..I deal will things very positive and she doesnt..shes always mrs negative nancy and I see that she is miserable and she doesnt talk about her feelings with me at all. I suggested she go to a therapist so she can be happy with herself..she never went. Her way of dealing with issues is forgetting them)
So after she said she was unhappy I new there was something motivating this because she never does this. So I start digging into the call records and I find she is talking a friend that I grew up with and have over my house on the weekends and comes on a couple trips with us as he doesnt have much family. I see tons of texts and calls late at night so I confronted her. And eventually she tells me she has feeling for him (blow to the heart) First I am mad then as the man that loves her says we can get through this. She says she wants to work it out and I try and get through the pain of her have feelings for another man. I said she needs to stop the communication with him immediately and she agreed. I also text him and said what he was doing was wrong and that when she told him she had feelings he should have cut it off right there. But nope he plays along and sucks her in by saying he feels the same.
So over the next few days Im really pushing the fact that we need to talk about things and she just gets angry and says she doesnt want to. Found another message 2 days later and she said she sent it when she was drunk..haha..so that means its ok. At this point I was being really pushy with her and try and get her to talk and realized after reading these threads she needs space and to let her discuss on her own. So I told her this and said I will be here when your ready to talk. Over the next 5 days She continues to totally ignore me...she comes home and I had dinner on the table for her. She goes in the shower and I looked through her phone and that morning she sent a text to her friend that she was going to OM's house tomorrow and I went into shock. She got out of the shower and I immediately confronted her and said I wanted a divorce that I coulnt take it anymore. So she decides to go downstairs and cry all night..I didnt feel bad at all..why should I? So we wake up we dont talk..just a few words...I went to work totally not focused and call her moms house where she was going for the day and asked to talked to my wife.." She went out shopping and to dinner with a friend" her friend. This is what she told me she was doing before I found the text. So even after I caught her she still acted...and I know for sure cause I tracked her phone(I work for company so Im able to do that)
So I tell her Parents the whole situation casue I wanted them to know I tries my hardest and that I love them. They were upset and angry. I asked them when she got back to tell her she needs to stay there til I figure out what to do. Shes ends up popping into the house and I couldnt even look at her.
So all I did was tell her its over and she just kept saying Im not letting you go like this. Im gonna work this out...Now she is in begging mode telling me lets work this out.. I need our family..its just making me disgusted whenever she speaks...cause shes selfish and is comfortable with me...I need some support on how I can hold my ground with this...All I do is feel bad for her..how can I handle this?
I know my post is all over the place so if you need more details or are a little lost please just ask..thanks for your support
