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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello, wife and I have been married for 10 years. We are In our late 30s. We have 3 young children together. Recently I found out that at the start of covid she befriended a colleague. When covid shut down the workplace they started texting daily with good mornings and general discussion. That somehow turned into sexting and picture exchanges. They would setup play dates at parks and kids activity places so the kids couple see each other, all the while sending graphic texts when they got home.. but nothing ever in person and no physical contact. When the workplace opened up they saw each other daily and spoke about general everyday things and then they would go home and sext and exchange pics all night. It all came to an end when the man's wife found out who then contacted me. I defenitley had my share of blame with ignoring the marriage but didn't deserve this. Both parties swear it never became physical but I will never know the truth. What about lunch breaks or walking out to the car at night after work. Their affair lasted 17 months. Not sure how i can come back from this. We've been seeing marriage counselors and individual therapy . I want to make it work and so does she but the thoughts won't leave my mind. It's been 2 months and everyday feels like the day I found out
 

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Hello, wife and I have been married for 10 years. We are In our late 30s. We have 3 young children together. Recently I found out that at the start of covid she befriended a colleague. When covid shut down the workplace they started texting daily with good mornings and general discussion. That somehow turned into sexting and picture exchanges. They would setup play dates at parks and kids activity places so the kids couple see each other, all the while sending graphic texts when they got home.. but nothing ever in person and no physical contact. When the workplace opened up they saw each other daily and spoke about general everyday things and then they would go home and sext and exchange pics all night. It all came to an end when the man's wife found out who then contacted me. I defenitley had my share of blame with ignoring the marriage but didn't deserve this. Both parties swear it never became physical but I will never know the truth. What about lunch breaks or walking out to the car at night after work. Their affair lasted 17 months. Not sure how i can come back from this. We've been seeing marriage counselors and individual therapy . I want to make it work and so does she but the thoughts won't leave my mind. It's been 2 months and everyday feels like the day I found out
Of course she says she wants to make it work, she got caught! If the wife of POSOM hadn't caught him it would still be going on and it would most certainly turned physical, if it hasn't already. Even if not physical she was sending nude pics to another man. Your choice if you want to reconcile, but I suggest you trust absolutely nothing from her. She is already a proven liar and cheater. DO NOT look for ways that this could be your fault. Even if you suck as a husband no one deserves to be cheated on.
 

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There is an often suggested method on this forum that is guaranteed to get answers but surprisingly enough it is rarely used. If you want answers then schedule a polygraph. You will likely get a parking lot confession. Why nobody actually does it I have no idea .... I think it is because they don’t actually want to face the truth.

If your wife didn’t **** him then I am the pope.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I've looked at polygraph and she is willing to take one.. therapist says virtual relationships are at times just fantasy.. like when someone posts on Facebook and get hundreds of replies from people who would ordinarily not speak up. Trying to find something here that I haven't thought of ...
 

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I've looked at polygraph and she is willing to take one.. therapist says virtual relationships are at times just fantasy.. like when someone posts on Facebook and get hundreds of replies from people who would ordinarily not speak up. Trying to find something here that I haven't thought of ...
Polygraphs are junk.
 
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I want to make it work
Then what are you complaining about? you already accepted your wife's cheating in whichever form it took and are willing to look the other way as long as you "can make it work".
the above statement basically is reconciliation at all cost. Try reading the Reconciliation forums on this or any other forums that you can find. You will see that it seldon works. It will be there in your mind forever. You may pass through it eventually, but in your mind your marriage will never, ever be the same. Don't rugswept this. Look within yourself, if you moral compass does not accept this to your basic core, then you're doomed to a miserable marriage if you stay. Remember, children are better living in two happy homes than in a miserable one.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
EA + physical proximity = PA.

Have you read the correspondence between them?

I think you are correct to assume that they are both lying.
Haven't read.. both ends deleted Facebook messenger messages.
 

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By the way, which of them is quitting their job?

Rule #1 of Reconciliation — Zero ongoing contact with affair partners.
 

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Ask her for a detailed timeline in writing. Tell her any lies = automatic divorce.

When she provides that, tell her she is taking a polygraph.

You don't need to actually set one up, just tell her when her "appointment" is and drive to the parking lot about 45 mins early. See what sort of parking lot confession you get.
 

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therapist says virtual relationships are at times just fantasy.
Except that they were in physical proximity, so this wasn't simply a virtual relationship.

Think about it, after getting photos and descriptions etc, do you think this guy didn't feel the green light in his mind about your wife when they were in the same room? This situation screams PA.
 

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Ask her for a detailed timeline in writing. Tell her any lies = automatic divorce.

When she provides that, tell her she is taking a polygraph.

You don't need to actually set one up, just tell her when her "appointment" is and drive to the parking lot about 45 mins early. See what sort of parking lot confession you get.
There are already lies. Years from now, he’ll realize that.
 

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Did she take any trips recently without you?

ETA: Also check her time off from work and see if there are days she took off when she claimed to be going to work.....

Perhaps OM did the same / have the OBS check APs time off also....
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Did she take any trips recently without you?

ETA: Also check her time off from work and see if there are days she took off when she claimed to be going to work.....

Perhaps OM did the same / have the OBS check APs time off also....
No she is basically now just a stay at home mom. She doesn't want to go anywhere without me. She is hurt that she hurt Me. Admitted everything and volunteered information that I would have never known about .
 

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Except that they were in physical proximity, so this wasn't simply a virtual relationship.

Think about it, after getting photos and descriptions etc, do you think this guy didn't feel the green light in his mind about your wife when they were in the same room? This situation screams PA.
He's going for reconciliation at all cost, so it really doesn't matter, because he already shut that possibility down.
 
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