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Hi, I'm new to the forum, I hope this is the right place to ask my question. I've been married for almost 10 years to my wife and we've been together a total of 17 years. I'm 44 and she's 35. We've used to have a great sex life. For the last couple of years it's been changing for the worse. I love my wife, but she's done a lot of things in the last couple of years that have strained our marriage and relationship. I've never cheated on her and never would. In short, my situation is this: My wife never initiates sex, and she shows no sexual attention or affection to me. These days we barely ever have sex and if we do it's late at night when she's nearly ready for sleep, and the sex is (I hate to say it) lame..
The mere conversation about sex brings on arguments and makes her storm out the room or the house. There is something wrong with our sex life and I can't even talk about it with her. I can't even look at her and say "I want you tonight".. If I do, she's gets angry and tells me that all I care about it sex and that there are more important things in a marriage than sex. Lately we've barely had sex, I can't even remember the exact last time we did, over 2 weeks ago or so. My wife can be a very angry spiteful person and is very passive aggressive. We've had issues because she was caught lying to me about money and nearly got us evicted.. She's done' this in the past, but things were good for the last 5-7 years, but a few months ago she weaved a large web of lies and it became a serious issue.. I was so disgusted and hurt by what she had done, that I could barely look at her.
Another thing that hurts is that my wife is incredibly beautiful. Every time I look at her, I can't believe she's my wife, and she's driven me crazy since the day I met her. I don't want another woman, I want my wife, but I can't even tell her..
I've realized I've been keeping my mouth shut all these years and now I'm afraid that I'm losing hope in her and our marriage. I've completely stopped ever mentioning sex in any way. My wife likes to talk a million words a minute and I've been reduced to near silence every night, because it pretty much seems that if I talk, she gets annoyed that I'm talking at all and if I actually want to discuss anything about our relationship that might be going wrong, she usually gets very nasty. I'm now starting to think thoughts of leaving her, which I don't want to do, but I honestly think that I may be better off. I don't even know where to begin, my story runs deep...
I needed to write down my thoughts and vent..
 

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Certainly not everyone's reason for a sexless marriage is the same, but in your situation given all the other stuff you describe she doesn't seem to respect you. In a woman's mind that would also suggest she is no longer attracted to you.

I hope there are no kids involved. You know it is Ok to vent here... However I would hope that you two could get some professional counseling. Besides being sexless there seems to be no healthy communication. I wish you the best and sorry to hear about your situation.
 

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Read all of my Marriage 2.0 thread series... installment 1 is up.
There will be ideas for you to turn this around permanently.
The dynamics in your marriage MUST change.

T2
 
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