Need some help here. I have been with my wife for almost 10 years and married for 5 years, we have 2 kids (2 and 4 year old). 2 Months ago I found out she has been having an affair for the last year with one of her coworkers that is also married and has 2 kids. I imediatly blew up and said a few things in the heat of the moment (I want a divorce, i want her out of the house, the kids are staying with me, etc.) She immediately blew up back telling me that if we get a divorce she will get the kids, spousal support, and the house because the courts favor mothers. Anyways, I immediately made her block the OM from her phone, social media, etc but I know she has contacted him and have called her out on it everytime that I found out. I caught her twice driving and waiting at the OM kids school to see him. I also found out that she created another FB profile so that she could contact him. She tells me she will not delete that account since it is like an "online diary" , bull****. The first month after finding out we were overall civil around each other with the occasional outburst, but since I fould out that she went to see him that second time and has that profile where she contacts him I have been trying the 180. I am going out with friend more often, working out and trying to overall work on myself and my children. I recommended MC to try to see what we can do because I want to try to reconcile because I do love her and I do not want my kids to go through a divorce because we are real good coparents. I have not told anybody about the affair because I do not want anybody to think negative about her if we do work this out. The MC is in the discernment stage because she does not know if she wants to work things out. So i am just in a holding pattern while she trys to figure her crap out and it frustrates the hell out of me. I just want a decision one way or the other. I told her I am not moving out because i love my kids to much not to see them everyday and my wife is to unstable right now in my opinion to handle it by herself. She has always had issues with depression and anxiety and she has some health issues currently that applify these. I found out today that she had a consultation with a lawyer and I got upset. She told me that she had to go see a lawyer because she wants to make sure that she is protected and that she wanted to know what could happen if we get a divorce because she is affraid that I am going to take the kids and everything and she will have nothing. I let her know that that is not my goal in all of this. She tells me that she loves/loved me but it is not the kind of love she wants, whatever that means. I have work my ass off at work and at home and always have and have always let her do what she wanted, looking back on this I should have been more restrictive with a few things because she has always been irresponsible financially and it has been a bid issue for us. I know I have not been the best husband, I am so focused on my career and I could have paid more attention to her but I would always tell her that I loved her and appreciated her. One of the things that frustrates me most is that the OM is a loser, in my opinion. He did quit his job because of this ordeal and my wife tells me that he came clean to his wife and they are moving out of the state back to where he is originally from, I don't know how much I believe but I do know he quit his job and has been unemployed for a few months and they just put their house up for sale. But the quy is 10 years older than my wife, sloppy looking, has nothing, and from the emails I found he is a jealous and possessive a$$hole. During an argumen(pre 180)t i told my wife that her relationship with this coward was a fantasy and she just got more pissed and disagreed and said I don't know what they had. Our MC said the same thing about this being a fantasy and she just said that neither of us know what they had. Overall, I want to try to reconcile this marriage but I am lost about how to go about it or am I just wasting my time. I still have tons of love for her and I love my kids more than anything and I do not want to put them through this. Advice? On top of it since I have been trying the 180 for the last few weeks she is getting mad at me telling me that I am sneaking around.