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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Hello friends, I hope you all understand me. Well, my wife has a gay male friend she met at work. My wife claims this dude is a 100% guy who is engaged with another male, so long story short, at parties and social gatherings, I let my wife dance with him because all my friends' wives do the same; they say he's like a female. But here is where my issue starts: I don't own my wife; I know that! But the guy seems to control my wife's drinking; he is the one who pours the shots; sometimes he grabs the bottle and my wife opens the mouth and pours; anyhow, my issue is that I give my wife her space with her friends at gatherings, group dances, and so on. After a while, when I'm done talking to other guests at the party or people I know, and after they all get tired of dancing, I take a seat on a chair usually a table that is round so my wife comes too with the gay guy after dancing and she sees that im alone but seats in front of me with gay guy and am basically seating alone ? , I discovered that night, was one of my wife's female friends... when she was in the kitchen, this dude walks in and starts messing around with the gay guy with his hand rubbing her vagina!and laugh it off, but the female friend was in shock! My wife knew about this weeks ago, but she never told me! I was angry until I found out, so I confronted my uU wife, who said nothing had happened to me. so i confronted my wife later on in my home and she tells me she was not paying attention if i was alone .. why did she not tell me what her friend gay guy did to her other friend the female i had to find out by another source
 

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Hello friends, I hope you all understand me. Well, my wife has a gay male friend she met at work. My wife claims this dude is a 100% guy who is engaged with another male, so long story short, at parties and social gatherings, I let my wife dance with him because all my friends' wives do the same; they say he's like a female. But here is where my issue starts: I don't own my wife; I know that! But the guy seems to control my wife's drinking; he is the one who pours the shots; sometimes he grabs the bottle and my wife opens the mouth and pours; anyhow, my issue is that I give my wife her space with her friends at gatherings, group dances, and so on. After a while, when I'm done talking to other guests at the party or people I know, and after they all get tired of dancing, I take a seat on a chair usually a table that is round so my wife comes too with the gay guy after dancing and she sees that im alone but seats in front of me with gay guy and am basically seating alone ? , I discovered that night, was one of my wife's female friends... when she was in the kitchen, this dude walks in and starts messing around with the gay guy with his hand rubbing her vagina!and laugh it off, but the female friend was in shock! My wife knew about this weeks ago, but she never told me! I was angry until I found out, so I confronted my uU wife, who said nothing had happened to me. so i confronted my wife later on in my home and she tells me she was not paying attention if i was alone .. why did she not tell me what her friend gay guy did to her other friend the female i had to find out by another source
@sapo13 The behavior you describe in not appropriate whether her friend is male/female/gay/bi or who knows what else.

My wife doesn't dance with other guys. I'm not ok with that.

If someone else opens a bottle and tries to get her drinking... I'm coming in between them.

I don't follow your kitchen story... but from the sounds of it, it's way over the top.

2 big questions...

Why are you allowing this?
Why is your WIFE allowing this?
 

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Hello friends, I hope you all understand me. Well, my wife has a gay male friend she met at work. My wife claims this dude is a 100% guy who is engaged with another male, so long story short, at parties and social gatherings, I let my wife dance with him because all my friends' wives do the same; they say he's like a female. But here is where my issue starts: I don't own my wife; I know that! But the guy seems to control my wife's drinking; he is the one who pours the shots; sometimes he grabs the bottle and my wife opens the mouth and pours; anyhow, my issue is that I give my wife her space with her friends at gatherings, group dances, and so on. After a while, when I'm done talking to other guests at the party or people I know, and after they all get tired of dancing, I take a seat on a chair usually a table that is round so my wife comes too with the gay guy after dancing and she sees that im alone but seats in front of me with gay guy and am basically seating alone ? , I discovered that night, was one of my wife's female friends... when she was in the kitchen, this dude walks in and starts messing around with the gay guy with his hand rubbing her vagina!and laugh it off, but the female friend was in shock! My wife knew about this weeks ago, but she never told me! I was angry until I found out, so I confronted my uU wife, who said nothing had happened to me. so i confronted my wife later on in my home and she tells me she was not paying attention if i was alone .. why did she not tell me what her friend gay guy did to her other friend the female i had to find out by another source
Sounds to me like this "friend" has poor boundaries and is a bad influence. Let's take the gay to the extreme and pretend he is a straight woman. I still wouldn't like the idea of my wife hanging out with a female friend that pours liquor down her throat and grabs other women's vaginas. Not to mention, gay or not he is walking around with a penis. All this would be a no go for me.

This behavior is not marriage friendly. Does your wife ever go out with this man without you?
 

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I’m super confused about where this happened, who was in the kitchen, and some guy, the female friend and the gay guy and the rubbing. Can you maybe retype that? There were 2 guys? Who laughed it off?
At the party where the gay man was pouring liquor down peoples throats he then walked into the kitchen and grabbed the wife's female friend by the crotch. This guy sounds like an incredible douche that is using his homosexuality as an excuse to engage in crude and inappropriate behavior.
 

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But the guy seems to control my wife's drinking; he is the one who pours the shots; sometimes he grabs the bottle and my wife opens the mouth and pours;
If you believe ^^this^^ I have some gorgeous waterfront property I can sell you in Nebraska ....

NOBODY can control how much another person drinks. Well, unless they put a loaded gun to the victim's head and force them to drink.

ETA: Your wife's gay friend sounds like a total asshole.
 

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@sapo13
I'm sorry to say this --- your wife has no respect and care for you. she knows she can do whatever. If your wife didnt say anything that means something similar had happened to her and she liked it. are you sure your wife hasnt slept with him before?
we had a gay friend back in college who slept with most girls "friends".

why cant you say "HOney, you are not allowed to hang out with this guy as long as your are my wife"
 

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Hello friends, I hope you all understand me. Well, my wife has a gay male friend she met at work. My wife claims this dude is a 100% guy who is engaged with another male, so long story short, at parties and social gatherings, I let my wife dance with him because all my friends' wives do the same; they say he's like a female. But here is where my issue starts: I don't own my wife; I know that! But the guy seems to control my wife's drinking; he is the one who pours the shots; sometimes he grabs the bottle and my wife opens the mouth and pours; anyhow, my issue is that I give my wife her space with her friends at gatherings, group dances, and so on. After a while, when I'm done talking to other guests at the party or people I know, and after they all get tired of dancing, I take a seat on a chair usually a table that is round so my wife comes too with the gay guy after dancing and she sees that im alone but seats in front of me with gay guy and am basically seating alone ? , I discovered that night, was one of my wife's female friends... when she was in the kitchen, this dude walks in and starts messing around with the gay guy with his hand rubbing her vagina!and laugh it off, but the female friend was in shock! My wife knew about this weeks ago, but she never told me! I was angry until I found out, so I confronted my uU wife, who said nothing had happened to me. so i confronted my wife later on in my home and she tells me she was not paying attention if i was alone .. why did she not tell me what her friend gay guy did to her other friend the female i had to find out by another source
Your relationship isn't good, and is in trouble.

You two rather do your own things from the get go apart at outings...and perhaps otherwise as well.


You are watching from the sidelines as she embarrasses herself, you, and the relationship by acting single and displaying little self control.

If you didn't like what was happening,
You should have excused yourself and told her it's best that you two head home.





Sounds like she's over you, and doesn't find you fun or exciting. You let her and other men blatantly disrespect you. You perhaps bore her...



Your wife is acting inappropriately and disrespecting you and the relationship.

Doesn't matter who she does this with..just that she's doing this.


It's up to you if you will further tolerate this from her.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I’m super confused about where this happened, who was in the kitchen, and some guy, the female friend and the gay guy and the rubbing. Can you maybe retype that? There were 2 guys? Who laughed it off?
what i know is that at the time everyone was outside dancing and such..so my wife friend a female..was inside kitchen grabbing some cups ..so gay friend who is also friend of her,,walks inside to got he the restroom spots the female friend walks towards her ,,with hand rubs her vagina and laughs it off.,..fermale stood in shock! my wife did not told that happen to her friend..and when i confronted my wife she answers me WELL it has not happen to ME! he has done nothing to me..
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Sounds to me like this "friend" has poor boundaries and is a bad influence. Let's take the gay to the extreme and pretend he is a straight woman. I still wouldn't like the idea of my wife hanging out with a female friend that pours liquor down her throat and grabs other women's vaginas. Not to mention, gay or not he is walking around with a penis. All this would be a no go for me.

This behavior is not marriage friendly. Does your wife ever go out with this man without you?
YESSSS my wife once when out with him i find out they where drinking in that gay dude apartment ..but he gay guy lives with his husband another very gay dude ,, what my issue is why she did not tell me her friend got touch on her vagina? and why she sits with him and not with me only at that moment of party prior to that she did sit with me .
 

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no one is answering this ,,,is it ok to sit next to him at table and me infront alone!!! she said she did not notice
Funck no it is not appropriate to sit next to him. Are you crazy
Your wife appears has a conflicting feeling about the guy kind of emotional affair.
Bud, im certain some touching happened to your wife and kiss and she liked it.
 

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no one is answering this ,,,is it ok to sit next to him at table and me infront alone!!! she said she did not notice
Absolutely not, that is part of the disrespect you are being shown.
She should be at your side and include you in the conversation(s) as much as possible.
You should have been informed about the "Kitty grabbing."
Inappropriateness aside, I think that makes him Bi.
Your wife should control her own alcohol consumption.
The only person your wife should be dancing with is either you or a family member.
 

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YESSSS my wife once when out with him i find out they where drinking in that gay dude apartment ..but he gay guy lives with his husband another very gay dude ,, what my issue is why she did not tell me her friend got touch on her vagina? and why she sits with him and not with me only at that moment of party prior to that she did sit with me .
Why the hell do you tolerate your wife drinking in some gay (probably bi) dude's apartment?
Redirect her a**.
 

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YESSSS my wife once when out with him i find out they where drinking in that gay dude apartment ..but he gay guy lives with his husband another very gay dude ,, what my issue is why she did not tell me her friend got touch on her vagina? and why she sits with him and not with me only at that moment of party prior to that she did sit with me .
You need to talk to her about it. If the thing really happened with him touching some woman in the crotch, he's not quite as gay as she told you he was. I used to know lots of gay guys and I never knew one that would do something like that. In fact I used to know lots of bi guys and I never knew one who would do something like that in public.

You need to just sit down and talk to her and say, I've been giving you all the space you need to have fun with your friends because you told me this guy is 100% gay but then now I'm hearing this story about him touching some woman's vagina. Find out if the story is correct.

And then go on to the part about regardless of whether that guy is gay or not, you don't want to be left alone to sit by yourself all the time if you are out in public.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Absolutely not, that is part of the disrespect you are being shown.
She should be at your side and include you in the conversation(s) as much as possible.
You should have been informed about the "Kitty grabbing."
Inappropriateness aside, I think that makes him Bi.
Your wife should control her own alcohol consumption.
The only person your wife should be dancing with is either you or a family member.
this gay guy has literally text my wife and writes Wanna Drink? hes gay has a male husband
 
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